How can I fight these feelings?

Question

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE. :)
My husband and I have been married for 2 years. I just graduated with my BS and he will graduate with his MS in December. I have decided to get my MS as well starting in the Spring. I have wanted to start our family since we got married, but we aren't in a position to start. We needed/need to finish our schooling so that we are able to provide for our family. BUT, I am still fighting these feelings of becoming a mother! It's not this faint feeling or just a thought, it's a huge feeling deep down inside. How can I control these feelings until I complete my MS? I need some comfort.

I guess I don't want to "fight" them, I just want to be able to control them and understand why we can't right now. I love to think that we can as soon as I graduate, but that's in another couple of years. I try to just look forward to that, but it's hard sometimes.
Thanks for the answers everybody! They are wonderful and I appreciate the advice.

Again, thanks for all the wonderful answers. It is going to be hard to pick the best one!
I do want to say that I will go on and get my Masters and then when I am in my last semester and/or the time is right, we will start our family. I do have a cat that I love as my child and she is spolied, so I will continue to practice motherhood with her. Thanks again!

Answer 1

Just focus on doing what you need to do, and think of the better life you can provide to your children if you wait. My wife and I are both 32, and our first baby is due this month. Our child is going to have a great life, since we waited until his mother finished her Doctorate, established her practice, I established myself in my career, and we have a nice house and cars. If you wait and do something similar, you can give you baby such nice things as well. If you hurry too much, you may not be able to. So turn your desire for a baby now into a desier to provide well for you future kids.

Answer 2

first of all, you are looking at your life like you want everything to be perfect before you start a family when in reality, nothing will ever be perfect, once you get your MS, your husband will really be looking for that promotion, then you will really need the time to work on these projects for work, soon, you're 36 and your potential babies will not have all moved out until you are almost 60. No time will ever be right to have kids unless you are filthy rich and dont worry about money. But if you are picturing this perfect life, you better hurry or it will get away from you. Times will not be as hard for you as they are for many other people in this life especially with you and your husband recieving higher ed degrees. Worry less, do more. If nothing else, you can get your MS over many years taking fewer classes but your family should come before school or work and right now you're putting it off. Sorry im not being comforting but I just think that old people with kids look stupid.

Answer 3

I am not going to tell you how to fight those feelings. I am going to say Have A Baby!! I will tell you, from my own experience and that of people I know, you can wait your whole life to be at that "perfect spot" in life that you feel you area ready to provide for kids...you will never be there!! There will always be something...the need for more money, a bigger house, whatever the case may be. You didn't say how old you are but if the feeling is that strong and your husband wants a child too then there is no time like the present!
Another issue is this...just because you decide you want a baby that doesn't mean you will conceive right away. It took me over 5 years!! So, take that into consideration while making your life plan. Just because you start trying now doesn't mean you will have a child in 9 months!
Good luck to you..

Answer 4

There's nothing you can do about wanting to be a mother but be a mother. you can still get your degree and have your family it will just take a lot of planning, support and communication. I'm twenty-four, I have a four year old and I'm finishing up my Associates and moving into the bachelors program. I know that I have to continue my education but I also want too have another child before it's too late, I am thinking of all my options and going from there. You can always take classes on-line if your really serious about having a family. Waiting til your thirty will make thinks worse and that's not good. I'm a firm believer in family, education and being able to provide and that's why I know what your going through, so just go for it and God will help you along the way. Good Luck!

Answer 5

My mother in law finished her Masters after her 3rd son was born!
There are ways to go to school and have children at the same time, you just won't finish as quickly!
YOu could pray for comfort, but you know i was always feel that you will have a baby when the Lord decides its the right time for yoU!
Remember --- There is never a good time to turn your life upside-down! YOu may think that once you have graduated everything will be great and it will be a great time to start a family but... something else may come up and you may want to start your career right away, something may go wrong withyour housing? You never know! YOu and Your husband need to discuss this together, let him know how you feel and maybe come to some agreement!
I don't know how old you are, but you sound young and I don't know how long it will take you to finish this particular MS but there is plenty of time for children, if education is important to you then finish it! I think it's very important for women to get an education, because if something happens to your husband you will be able to provide!
Just pray and talk to your Husband!
Everything will work out!

And just maybe you are meant to have a baby now?! Anything is possible!

Good Luck!

Answer 6

i couldnt do it. My husband and i have been married 2 and a half years and we just got pregnant. He didnt want kids because he didnt think he's 21 dollar an hour job (in upstate ny) could pay for our bills.

I grew up with nothing. I know what it takes to be a happy child and a functional family. And it isnt money. He grew up with everything and two full time working parents. All he wanted was a full time family growing up.

If you guys arent ready then wait. If this is what you have decided you need for a child then finish it and wait. but atleast accept the fact that you will never have enough money for a child. it just doesnt work that way. not even for bill gates. You might have what it takes to provide for everything you all want and need, but as long as those things and your job eat up all your time, your child will always feel second.

I would say finish what youre doing, so that you can easily provide for your children, and then settle for a lifestyle you can afford with few hours and the least stressful work. That way your family and children will always come first, no matter what you have, dont have, want, or need.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are really conflicted there, and it is not necessarily something you will be able to control. I guess what I would say is take two sheets of paper, and write the pros and cons to each thing, and see if you can figure out through that which is most important to you at this time. I am not in that situation myself, so I am not sure how I would react. I guess if I were in your shoes, I would try to force my education knowing that if I stopped now, it might be very hard to get back into it, and knowing that if I had a child now, I would be in a serious problem trying to get myself into school or work. It is hard to say it, but it is easier to wait until you can support the child to try and have the family, so you might have to deal with those feelings. I am not saying they will go away, because they probbably won't. You have to do what is right, and best for you and your family!
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

Thsi is a serious issue and you need to discuss this with your husband. Also you both need to finish your schooling so that you can get a good job by which you can save the money for the future of your child as saving money for today will help you tomorrow.
Also, do not go too fast as there is a point of no return here.

My suggesstion would be,
first you both finish your schooling and then get a good job with handsome pay, get stable on your job, start saving some money for your and your kids future as every parents want their child to be nurtured by the best in the world.

This decision should be taken by you both. If you both are confused then you can consult some really close friends or relatives with whom you can share your personal things.

Best Luck for you decission and your future.

Answer 9

That is your internal clock ticking, you shouldnt supress it. You should go ahead and start your family. Your body knows more than your head about when things are right. Your degrees are important, but its like if you wait until you can afford chilren you will never have them. Do you really plan to use your masters? or is it just about the education. You need to make some decisions in your life. If you plan on pursuing an all out career, maybe you shouldnt have kids at all. If your hubby has a masters, he should get a good enough paying job to support you. The true and real decision is up to you. But it sounds to me like your body is telling you the time is now. Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

YOU DONT WANT TO START TOO SOON TAKE IT FROM SOME ONE WHO DID I HAD MY FIRST AT 19 IM 26 AND GETTING READY FOR # 2 I NEVER FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL AND HAVE TRYED TO GO BACK 3 TIME SENCE I HAD MY SON 7 YEARS AGO AND ITS JUST TOO HARD SOME PEOPLE CAN DO IT BUT SOMETHING IS ALWAYS GOING TO SUFFER YOUR SCHOOLING OR YOUR FAMILY I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO WANT SOME THING SO BAD BUT YOU HAVE LOTS OF TIME .. DO YOU HAVE A DOG IF NOT GET A PUPPY AND MAKE THAT YOUR BABY TILL YOUR DONE WITH SCHOOL THE DOG WILL LOVE YOU BOTH AND YOU WONT HAVE TO FIND A BABYSITTER TO GO TO SCHOOL OR OUT TO THE MOVIES OR A DINNER GET A SMALL ONE AND IT WILL BE KINDA LIKE A BABY JUST NOT AS MUCH WORK ;) GOOD LUCK HONEY.