Do they really expect a thug or a lay-about do what only a man can? Then when they see how the child is hurt by the father's absence, the blame is placed solely on the absent father. But it took two to create the sad situation!
2006-06-06 04:05:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Nikki, Yeah I have made some really bad mistakes but God forbid that I would make such a costly one!!!! Besides, there are too many ways to prevent it . :)
2006-06-06 04:10:42 · update #1
couldnt have said it better myself.
i think its the parents. if they show this kind of behavior its going to be acceptable to a woman to chose the wrong "daddy"
2006-06-06 04:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by psychstudent 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Well first of all you obviously have not walked a mile in these women's shoes.
So let me share my story with you.
When I met my ex he was raising his two older children on his own. Their mother took off and had disappeared six years earlier without a word from her since. That right there earned him points.
Plus he was a co-owner in a business. Or so I was lead to believe. It was more co-owner by association.
He was going through hard times but hey everyone does. Yes I really honestly believed that would change.
I later found out just how bad they were. But by that point in time I was pregnant.
People by nature honestly want to see the best in others and honestly want to believe others can change. That is not the women's fault. Ok yes she should be smart enough to know at some point that she can not change the world but when you love someone that is not how you look at it.
Let me also add I was young and stupid. I was making some VERY bad choices for my life. I will be the first to admit that. However as soon as I got pregnant and had my first child I TOTALLY and completely turned my life around. I am a 100% a different person then what I was before I had children. My children are worth it to me. And I feel like if I can do it for the sake of my children then so can the father. These are choices I made for my babies. It is not my fault he did not make those same choices.
Let me also add since you are so steady saying that this is such a mistake and that the children suffer so much that yes I have made mistakes in my life. Yes I had a child by the wrong man. But first of all when it comes to my daughter I never put the blame on him...she will see him for what he is when she is old enough to...however to say my child is suffering you are totally not wrong. Statistics can only show so much and MANY children have raised above the stereotypical single parent household. My child has ALL her needs met. She is a very happy beautiful well adjusted child. She is not lacking anything. She does great in school ranking quite a bit above average in most subjects. She is logical. Friendly. Loving.Polite. Respectful. Helpful. Etc etc etc. You can NEVER convince me she got the short end of the stick. She is just as well off if not better off then her brother and sisters whose father is in their lives.
2006-06-06 11:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by foolnomore2games 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I was very careful who i chose to marry! I had a dead-beat dad who was never there, (my mom and him got divorced) and then a crazy step-dad (again she got divorced) and I have a good grandpa, but because he was an Airline Captain he was never home but still a great provider for the family!
When i met my husband the first thing i wanted to think about was how good of a father he would be! Even if he was great to me, if he was not good to children i couldn't do it!
I dated a few men who were dorks and then met my husband! He was perfect! He was great with my little bro and cousins! He wants like 6 kids (I don't but we'll discuss that!) and was raised in a great home with great parents!
I was raised in a broken home and I have always wanted a familywith kids and I never want to get divorced so i have needed a little work on my side to make sure that I don't wreck this!
I know my husband would never hurt his children, he loves me and I'm pregnant and is so excited! We are very happy and I'm so happy that i waited to find the right guy! I have never been happier!
2006-06-06 11:38:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree. I think that people (not just women) go into a relationship thinking that they have the power to change the other person in the relationship...that their influence will somehow transform the other person into what they want them to become. Sadly, it's rarely, if ever, like that. I think that if more people actually thought all of this out and did a better job of screening, not only would there be less fatherhood-in-abstentia, but also a much lower divorce rate.
2006-06-06 11:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by Scotty Doesnt Know 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the mother knows that the father is no good and will not be a postive influence in his life. If thats the case I don't blame mothers screening and making sure that the father is not in the child's life. The mother could find a man maybe not someone for her but a good male role model for her child.
2006-06-06 11:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by gentlgodis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my sister has put herself in that situation and I have nothing but negative words to say about her. But its different for all women I would think. Maybe some men change? I've never really dated the 'thug' or 'bad boy' and I married a dedicated, loyal, and money-making man :) Love is love I guess, not really sure why women do this.
2006-06-06 11:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by Cantrelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't even think about that. Their hormones are in full gear and the sex is all they think about. Some women are extremely gullible and believe what men tell them. Worst of all are the little teens who want a baby. It's the children who suffer because of this kind of behavior.
2006-06-06 11:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course there is some chicks who get knocked up on purpose, but ya know what? Not every girl does it on purpose! I was on the pill and we used a condom but low and behold we had a son. SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS HAPPEN! Shouldn't you be proud the mother is doing what she can to raise the child and be happy she didn't murder it before it was born? Get a grip lady!
2006-06-06 11:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by marhaschmidt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because there are a lot of women who look for an "exciting" man, and those guys are often layabouts and thugs. Responsible guys seem boring to these women.
2006-06-06 11:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
me2 i dont know y girls get messed fathers for their children.....but girls dont think...cuz y..they say "i love him" and blah blah blah and then she get pregnant and boof! hes gone.....and cant stand that.......and its not all the fathers fault for the absence....its kinda the girls fault too...she shouldve known that the guy wont be there.....she knew he was a low life.....i dont know but its the children thats the victim here.....thats sad
2006-06-06 11:11:01 · answer #10 · answered by madam_die 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becuse men dont usually show their true colors for a long time until there is a bad situation...
2006-06-06 11:57:09 · answer #11 · answered by jennifer y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋