What would you do if you had to choose the love of your life???

Question

I'm currently dating someone who is really just great. In fact it's been a month today! We've seen each other EVERY day since our first date & he is a sweet man. However, before him I was dating someone that I thought I was going to marry!!! He was having a lot of problems with the custody of his children & his exwife. They are now all resolved & his exwife has been convicted of charges & he has permanent custody of his children. He now, wants me back in his life. What should I do??? Also, I have a 4 yr. old that my ex just loves & even wanted to adopt. My current boyfriend likes my 4 yr. old VERY much, but sometimes (because he doesn't have kids) get annoyed with her. I'm really at a loss with this one. PLEASE NO DUMB ANSWERS or SNIDE remarks!!!!! This is serious. By the way, I'm not some teenager asking this, I'll be 30 this year!!! THANK YOU!!!

The reason that I had to leave the first man was because he was under protected custody (due to the problems w/ his ex). During that time he told me that I should move on with my life...because he didn't know how long the trial & everything would take, but that he was going to love "us" for the rest of his life.

Answer 1

i think you should give your current beau a chance. of course he can't just jump in the picture after a month and totally love your daughter. he's going to need time to adjust. as for your ex, he's an ex for a reason. I don't think you should get back with him simply because o all of a sudden he's ready for you now. I don't think so. Work on your own clock. if it doesn't work out between you and the new guy then YOU can tell HIM that your ready to get back together... good luck!

Answer 2

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough situation, first of all. {{hug}}
I think the thing to consider foremost is your little one and her well-being. Even though the ex-wife doesn't have custody of your previous boyfriends children, will she still be able to have access to them? If so, how will this effect the long term dynamics of this family, and what effect will the other children have on your daughter?

Second - Have you and your ex boyfriend sat down recently and discussed the details of a possible long-term future relationship with one another? Does he still have the same feelings for your little girl and yourself as he once did?

Have you discussed any of this with your current boyfriend? If not you need to do so now. As you mentioned he is very sweet and to not be completely honest with him and let him know your inner conflict is not only unfair to him, but it may be setting yourself up for disaster later on down the road.

If I were in your shoes (and I'm not and I'm sure there is more to the situation) I would step back from both of them for about a month or two and not date either one. Let yourself come down from one relationship and start thinking logically again before going into another. I truly hope that you are able to get this resolved, and that I see a happier update soon!

Answer 3

You may be 30, that does not mean you've acquired maturity to match. Please believe I'm not being snide or sarcastic. When a woman hits mid 30's life takes on deeper meaning. With that said, I would suggest you DONT jump into either relationship for the moment. Put strong energy into your daughter, and feel her deep warmth, rather than bring more confusion into yours and her life. All good things will last, if they're truly worth it. You've only known the new great guy a month! And it doesnt sound as tho you've been 'single' for any great length of time.
Enjoy who YOU are, and your baby as well, for the time being.
Dont let others distract you right now.

Answer 4

You've been with this guy for a month. You sound like you're really happy with him. And he hasn't done anything wrong to you.

So here's the real question. Why did you break up with your ex? Was it JUST because he was having problems with his Ex-Wife and custody?

I think if you really think about it... you're gonna realize that maybe things fell apart the first time because there are problems there.

And this new guy, again, hasn't done anything wrong... and doesn't deserve to get his heart broken so you can run back to somebody to walked away from you when the going got tough for him.

Answer 5

You know, maybe guy number one isn't really the love of your life if guy number two has been able to step into your life so easily and has been able to make you happy.
I don't think you should be making any decisions right now. Give it all time and see which way your heart leads you.
But if you need to make a choice, remember that you have a lot more time invested and know guy number one a lot longer and a lot better than you do the new guy. You have a history with guy number one.

Answer 6

it's really a difficult question..I see the dilemah..from the look of it, I think you like the current guy more, but feel the ex can give your daughter more...

I think you should really know better than anyone from here as you have more inormation about the two guys and how you feel about them, which one do you prefer to be with ? which one make you heart tingle?....dating for 1 month is a bit too early to say yoou know a person well, he might tur out to be not that great....but then again he might still be learning to be around girlfriend's child, then turn out to be perfect fine.....

sometimes you have to take chances in life follow your heart

Answer 7

i'd shop Naruto's existence, little question. there's a distinction between Naruto and Sasuke that lead me to my decision. Sasuke's prolonged family contributors is definitely long gone and he replaced into forced to observe each and every little bit of it. He then seeks revenge. stable tale yet then he betrayed his acquaintances because of the fact of his selfishness. Naruto, on the different hand, had it plenty worse than Sasuke has. He replaced into disregarded all his existence. He has no person to count on yet he would gladly danger his existence to shop the comparable people who appeared down on him while he replaced right into a newborn merely through Kyuubi interior him. Even even with each and all of the **** that existence threw at him, he nevertheless has adequate will capability and love for his acquaintances to have the means to grin. this is the variation between Sasuke and Naruto and for my area, a man or woman like Sasuke merely brings the 'international' down.

Answer 8

It sounds like you know in your heart what to do. My take on it is that you truly love your ex. If you know that he is who you are in love with, be with him. I would add that it's important that you know for sure though. You don't want your child or his children hurt by the relationship starting and then ending you know? Just look deep in your heart and choose. Pray on it. I believe everyone has a soul-mate. Like 2 people are designed to be together and compliment each other like 2 puzzle pieces made to be together. Good luck!

Answer 9

yes...its a great trouble to face!!
But what were the reasons that you left you earlier boyfriend?

and if u really loved him and wanted to marry him, why did u start dating another man!!
its not about choosing a thing!!its about your life and most of all, your child's life.
u just cant think of advantages and disadvantages in relationships...you must move ahead, since you made the decision of leaving that man, you should keep it and forget him. go ahead now, if you do not regret your decision!!

all the best!!

Answer 10

i guess it really depends on who u like more, stay away from both of them 4 about a week and see who u miss more, also u need 2 look at who u can trust more, who makes u feel happy, who do u see yourself with 2 years from now, your in a tough situation, but as corny as it may sound follow your heart, goodluck.