My Daughters Mother is from CA. We met in Chicago (My Hometown) while she was attending college. Our relationship was going sour but we decided to stick it out for the childs sake. Today she is Going to CA to visit her family, and attend her younger brothers Graduation, They havent seen the baby. They are only supposed to be gone a week. As Im kissing my daughter, i say Ill see you on the 11th (a week before my 1st fathers day) and she says well im not comming back that soon. She claims that she needs to get herself together and all this other BS. But I know she;s not comming back. Her plan was to trap me into making me a father and a husband. I can handle the parent part dispite the fact that I wasnt ready to be aparent at 22, but the married life aint for me right now. Her plan backfired and now she is trying to get me back. What can I do as a single parent?
2006-06-06 02:47:46 · 26 answers · asked by Dr. Love 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im sure my question is pretty clear. Yes my child's mother has taken her to California. They were supposed to be gone a week. At the departure gate she tells me she is leaving for more than a week (possibly forever) and yes my child has my last name.
2006-06-06 02:59:51 · update #1
I do believe even though she is the mother it is kidnapping because she took her out of state. At least that is how it was with me, but i was married at the time. I would definately speak with an attorney and fight for your rights as a father.
And believe it or not, you are doing the right thing by not getting married. I stayed with my ex because of my daughter and all it did was make things worse. Good for you for stepping up and being a dad. It is going to be a rough road to fight, but believe me your daughter is worth it. And she will see how much you care the older she gets.
Good luck to you!
2006-06-06 02:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 23⤊ 2⤋
If you have legally custody of the child, you can report the child as missing. But first try to talk to her to make sure this is what she is really doing. I don't understand if she needed time to get herself together why take the child. Sounds like she is trying to make you come back to her. Your ex needs some help. By now she should know that you love your daughter but you don't want a romantic relationship with her. Keep trying and Good Luck! Let us know the outcome!
2006-06-06 11:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a single parent as well and have been through this. You need to file for joint custody in your state. It can get tricky because each state has different laws, so you need to do this right away. There is also an organization that fights for father's rights, free of charge. Go to fathers-rights.com. Although I am a female, it's always a pleasure to help out any father who wants to raise their child. Good luck!
2006-06-06 10:07:11 · answer #3 · answered by Boss' n it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, start with castration. Next, get a lawyer and completely screw with your kids head by fighting like grade schoolers with your wife over who gets to spend the most time with your daughter. After that, get a second job to pay child support and alimony.
i dont understand. She explained to you where she was going, and why she was leaving. It sounds to me as though her plan didnt back fire, you did.
You obviously dont want to be a spouse or a parent at this point in your life. Did you ever consider that she wasnt ready for it either? Knowing that youre the only one working towards a good life for your child really messes with a womans head. Theres more to raising a functional human being than making money and being there. THey need a secure home life and loving parents. If you cant even get along with your baby's mother, what kind of message do you think thats sending her? even as an infant you can mess with her health if youre fighting around her. Babies can pick up on emotions in the family.
She wanted space, and had a right to expose her child to her relatives. Shes obviously had time to think things through and is now willing to work things through with you, just like she said when she said she was leaving to get herself together. Whether you believe she needed to or not doesnt count worth beans.
You sound like someone who just wants to make a bad situation worse for everyone envolved. People can MAKE things work if they decide to. Or they can try half assed and just end up ******* with everyone envolved. You two should either sever all ties or get your **** together and make it work for the sake of the child who's life and head youre already ******* up.
Iam married to the result of this situation. And just for the record iam 22 and pregnant, and happier than i could ever be, and so is my husband. what you are ready for and what you want are all subject to what you decide you're ready for and what you want.
its called being an adult. you live for this child, your life ended when you made her. grow up. Both of you. you both are less important than this child.
2006-06-06 10:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She hasn't technically kidnapped her as you know of the plan beforehand. You two need to talk things over again. It seems to me that your baby's mama is after custody - possible battle on your hands. But if you love your lil girl then you gonna have to fight. As a single parent you gonna have to stand your ground and not get back with this woman if you really don't want to, but come to a truce that works best for your girl.
All the best, keep me posted if you want.
kissshot85@yahoo.co.uk
2006-06-06 19:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by kissshot85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i can't sympathize with you. BLACK MEN especially need to realize that it is meant to be a 2 parent home not one. So if she runs away with the child so be it. THIS WILL BE A LESSON FOR YOU. DON'T **** a women without a condom if you are not her husband.
enough is enough with you brothers! i am sick of you and your one parent home bullshit. i am black from a 2 parent home and i wish i could set the example for all the blacks out there. the women are stupid too! i have a child but i WAS MARRIED FOR 2 YRS. before having my child. now that i am separated i wont be having any bastards either!
2006-06-06 09:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by yogishwife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, if you two aren't married, she has sole custody of your daughter... the only way you can fight it is to prove paternity and take it to court to fight for custody, but generally the judge will place a child with the mother unless she's deemed "unfit". I'm sorry about this, but it's a risk you take when you have a baby out of wedlock. (Not preaching, it's just the law... it sucks).
2006-06-06 09:52:43 · answer #7 · answered by coconut_parrothead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to family court in your county and file a petition to share custody. Does the child have your last name? In most states this is all you need to file.... Fight her for your rights as a father...
2006-06-06 09:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Track her where she is going. Try to communicate with her smoothly. Your violation or aggrieve behavior will effect your child, and make the problem worse to settle. Never call the police. Just do it yourself. It's a family business. Only you and your effort can settle the problem, I hope sooner,the better.
2006-06-06 09:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by devid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To stick it out for Child's sake, is a temporary solution to a permanant problem.
Since you 'know' she's not coming back, and you dont desire to be married, I dont understand your problem.
As a single parent, you support your child.
2006-06-06 09:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a lawyer. If she took your child without your consent, it's kidnapping. You have just as much right as a father as she does as a mother.
2006-06-06 09:51:15 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋