help with my childs behaviour please?

Question

my daughter is nearly 20 months old and she is usually well behaved, although lately her behaviour has become a little more negative than usual. She is already taking tantrums and kicks her legs around, she behaves even worst when people come to visit, and she is very wingy lately and gets stressed a lot over little things. this doesnt happen very often, usually when we have visitors, but when it does happen i find it difficult to cope, especially when my partner is at work and we also have a baby girl aged 3 months too. I do a behaviour chart and she gets a treat at the end of the week if she has been quite good all week, ive also started time out too. Does anyone have any other ideas to try to dicipline her please, and is anyone else in the same situation?

Answer 1

To me it sounds like your older child may be jelous of the younger. Even if you do give them both equal attenion there was once a time where the older child got exclusive attention.

Even though your oldest is young she is still old enough to help you with your three month old. It's always a good idea to et the older child inolved with the younger. You can do things like get her to bring you diapers or to throw the dirty diapers aways. Ask her to bring you a bottle or a burp rag. I'm helping to raise two neices who are the same age difference on top of my own 2 month. Taylor is the oldest and she began to misbehave too, so I turned her into my special helper.

You have to make sure you always praise her for her good works and always reward her for doing good. For a kid any attention is good attention, so they might throw a tantrum or misbehave in order to get some attention, but if you show her that she will be pleased with the attention she gets when she does good then she will continue to do good.

give as little attention as possible when she is being bad. when she throws a tantrum tell her to do it in her room. if you are in public either ignore it, or explain to her only one time that when you get home she'll be forced to go into time out.

i know when you're at a store it's very hard to deal with a child throwing a tantrum, but she can be your helping there too, and as she gets older it can turn into a learning experience. "can you find two apples?"

i hope this helps. good luck with your girls!

Answer 2

Welcome to the "Terrible Twos" Your daughter has learned that if she acts our when you have guests she will be the center of attention. She is probably acting out with the new baby being home. Here place as number 1 and your undivided attention now has to be divided to take care of both of them. My two oldest boys were 22 months to the day apart and I experienced what you are going through now. My oldest son thew such a fit one day that when his Daddy got home he found me sitting on the front porch with the baby in tears. My house had been baby proofed and this was 20 years ago. We then started the time out chair. Hard to enforce but very effective. I set the timer and he knew when his "time out" was up. What also helped was when my husband got home, he watched both boys while I took a walk on the beach. It was just across the street. I would walk for about 30 minutes and come home and was ready to pick up where I left off. Find time to get the 30 minutes however you can, go for a walk, read a book, take a long bubble bath. Find some down time for you.Being a parent is a 24/7 job and you need a break like anyone working a 9-5 job. It takes two people to make a baby so it takes two people to raise one. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Discipline is NOT the answer. Kids don't fully understand the difference between right and wrong until roughly three years old. The best way to deal with this is to calmly remind her of what's expected of her. No use getting stressed out over something you have no control over.

She's not quite two yet. A lot of time left to teach her what behavior is needed from her. She's acting out BECAUSE of the extra attention. Probably to get more attention. Try positive reinforcement. Give her attention for good things, not bad. Start it when there's no visitors, of course, but eventually, you will end up ignoring a full blown temper-tantrum with company there.

The best cure for a tantrum that I've ever seen, was shown to me by my (at the time) 18 year-old little brother. My daughter was having a kicking, screaming, pounding the floor temper-tantrum, and my brother laid down on the floor and did the EXACT SAME THING! My daughter stopped, looked at him, and laughed. It worked for about two weeks.

Kids will do things just to get attention. And, it's not a bad thing (developmentally) if they do negative things for attention at two years old. (I can't say this enough) They don't know the difference between right and wrong yet.

Answer 4

The biggest thing is to be consistent with punishing or taking away privileges when she acts up. She's just testing the waters to see what she can and can't get away with. If you know someone's coming over, explain to her that if she acts up she'll get a warning and if her behavior continues she'll get a time out or will lose a toy (or whatever you do). She's probably acting out because her little sister now gets all the attention when visitors are there. It might help to have some sort of code word she can say if she feels left out. This way she can get your attention in a calm manner; and she can let you know what she's feeling without throwing a tantrum. If worse comes to worse, call Nanny 911! Seriously though, good luck with your daughter!

Answer 5

I can say that your situation is quite common and just to let you know, you are not alone. Better yet, this situation will come to pass is attended to promptly and accordingly.

Two-year olds are noted to behave as if they are the only ones at the center of our lives. They are at this stage when it's all about 'me' and 'I'. This is normal and can be considered as a passing stage for tots.

As in your case, your daughter is beginning to see that the world is not only about 'her'. She is now becoming aware that your attention is divided at times because of other people (like visitors) and even her 3-month old sibling!

My suggestion is, don't be hard on her in terms of disciplining her. Time-outs are 'OK' but don't overdo it especially if it's meant to 'correct' her behavior when visitors come to your house. What she needs is reassurance and security. it is that stage that she is realizing that the world is not only about her and because of this, she feels unattached and helpless when you are not attending to her. Your key to teaching her that 'everything will be alright' is to maintain your composure and just be patient with her. When visitors come to your place, introduce her to your guests and likewise. Make sure that you display a happy disposition when introducing her to other people. Your comforting words will also help her realize that the world is 'OK' after. And whilst having visitors around your house, give her something to do like playing with her doll and doing some colouring. Make sure that you interact with your child once in a while or from time to time, and get back to your guests. In this way, your daughter will know that you are still thinking about her and that she was never left alone all by herself. On the otherhand, I also encourage you that both of your young kids should interact more. Has your daughter been playing with her younger sibling? Do you encourage her to speak to her sibling? It's very important for tots at this age, to know that having a younger brother or sister is fun and exciting. When doing things with your baby, make sure to let your 2-year old take part in the conversation or situation. If you don't do this, she will again throw up tantrums and cry a lot. She will again feel unattended to and forsaken. So anytime you feed your baby, you can tell your 2-year child about the things that you do with your baby- why her younger sibling needs to drink milk or breastfeed, change diapers, etc. Make it into an interactive environment for her. Let her get the diapers for you, hold the bottle at times for the baby or even simply stroke the hair of her younger sibling. In this way, she will feel 'part' of the scene and won't feel isolated.

Overall, don't be discouraged or don't worry too much. Again, your positive reaction and immediate action on this, will greatly help your 2-year old to have a more appropriate behavior.

Take care!

Answer 6

It's called the Terrible Twos. Get used to the tantrums.

Answer 7

How did your mom discipline you?
I tell you what, my parents would have beat me. I mean back then, there was nothing wrong with it. Now a days though, I understand you have to be careful. But there is nothing wrong with an occasional spanking. Otherwise you are going to be like all these other parents out here that have uncontrolable kids that do not listen and walk all over their parents. I sugest you put your foot down now and let her know who is boss and that it is your way and no other way.

Answer 8

She's entering the stage that mom's refer to as "the terrible two's". It sounds like you're doing the right things. This stage will pass once she realizes what her boundaries are and understands that you aren't going to give in to her tantrums.

Answer 9

She is entering her terrible 2's. It happens to most parents and you have to deal with it. It gets worse when they turn 3!

Answer 10

i got a 2 yrs old and he does the same thing. they are just wanting attention. when my baby does his i just let him throw it. dont pay attention she will quit