If you met someone that you thought was absolutely wonderful, but had very different ideas about things than yourself, how much of your personality would you sacrifice? For example, would you be willing to lie for the rest of your life about your music preferences, your political ideals, your religious beliefs, and/or your hobbies and habits? Keep in mind that you would have to act as if you were these things for the rest of your life too. Yes, I am assuming you would marry this "perfect someone" too.
2006-06-06 01:55:44 · 14 answers · asked by Cheshire Cat 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Although I asked this question to refer to you, some of you thought I was trying to make up my own mind. What brought this question to mind was some friends that belong to a religion that will not allow them to marry outside of their church. Everything else about them is not flaky, but that one point is a real stumbling block for me. I care about them and I don't want them to be unable to marry, but if they follow their church rules, their options will be severely limited. Would my converting in bad faith not likewise be an act of love if I cared about the other person? Would not living a lie likewise be an ongoing act of love freeing them from the tyranny of their church? Perhaps not. I'm not asking about that situation anyhow. I'm askng about YOU.
2006-06-06 10:45:30 · update #1
Ok, fine. What part of yourself would you "compromise?"
In my case, I have these mormon women that keep coming over, but even though they would like to get married and I would like to get married (to one woman), they can only marry me if I am a mormon, which would involve several major "compromises" in my belief system. On the other hand, maybe my belief system is not so sacred to me as the idea of being in a loving relationship. Since I don't value my "faith" so much, maybe I could "compromise" it and be more true to my value of marrying and having kids... I would have to lie about being a mormon, but at least I was true to the greater of two of my values.
2006-06-08 04:14:05 · update #2
It really depends. There are certian things I wouldn't lie about for anyone. Religion is a big deal. I'd have a hard time telling someone I shard their religious ideals when I didn't. Especially if said religious ideals included not lieing. On the other hand, it might work to my advantage, if, for example, she was part of a wiccan group that really did have orgies or something. I might be able to do it then. Music preference, for me, wouldn't be such a big deal. I listen to about everything. As for politics, I seem to remember something about an election process every four years vaguely from when I was in high school. When the time comes, I pretty much flip a coin. What are the two parties called? Democan and Republicrat or something like that? Anyway, sure, I could pretend to be a Democan or a Republicrat, even vote that way, maybe if I had a wife that really wanted me to get into politics, I'd even learn a candidate's name or two.
Now, if it was something really important to me, that is quite a bit different. If, for example, she wanted me to pretend to be bi, if she wouldn't date or marry straight people, Hell No! I like girls only. I respect my gay and bi friends and family, but I am not, and I am just as proud of being straight as I am of them for being what they are. Or if she wanted me to pretend that looks aren't that important to me, that would be hard... I happen to think that the female form is the most beutiful piece of art God has ever created, and that men have only managed a fraction of that beauty. God's second best is the sunset. If she wanted me to give up chess or poker, then she'd have to go. I'm sorry, no girl is worth that.
2006-06-06 03:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Myself
2006-06-06 09:04:29 · answer #2 · answered by I am sex lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up your morals and belief for a person because that will make you miserable. Just sit back and observe the person and compare the differences. If you risk too much then move on. Cool!
2006-06-06 09:00:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to lie for the rest of your life. If he is the "perfect one" why would you lie. He he loved you he will take you the real you not some made up person. Remember he is NOT perfect he human
2006-06-06 08:59:38 · answer #4 · answered by midget580 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt have to give up your preferences and opinions in the first place, we are all different and just because you dont like the same things that shouldn't get in the way. I wouldnt change any part of my personality no matter how perfect i thort someone was!!
2006-06-06 09:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO ! You should be loved for yourself no matter what you like or dislike. Everyone has there differences but you need to learn how to deal with living with them and compromise.
2006-06-06 08:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give up nothing if they wanted to marry me they would marry the real me not someone I made up. always be true to yourself and if anyone asks any less of you then stay away from them cause there no good for you :)
2006-06-06 09:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. For if you have to be something that you aren't than it's not true LOVE.
TRUE LOVE is where the other person excepts you for who and what you are. Not for what they think you are.
You are not being true to yourself so there for you are not being true to them either, your pas-on will never last. For this is not LOVE.
2006-06-06 09:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
every person has his/her own ideas and thoughts , u cant change that
but , u can come to a point were u can like others ideas as wll as live with ur own thoughts
2006-06-06 10:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by happy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't u tell that someone the truth..what if he finds out that u've been lying ti him all along??that would've hurt hin as much as it hurts u...and it'll be much easier when u r with him as u won't feel guilty and afraid that u might say something that will reveal the truth....
2006-06-06 09:08:07 · answer #10 · answered by su_quinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋