My bf and I are in our 40's. He's divorced over 10 years-ago and I get on really well with the ex-wife and kids. His last gf was a friend for 15 years and they dated for 4 years on and off until they split and then we met. She has mental health problems and keeps involving him in her dramas. I feel las does my my bf, very sorry for her and want to help her out but we also want it to stop. He can handle it better than me cos he knows her and doesn't want to be with her. i'm scared as we've only been 10 months together and she's broken up other relationships he's had. how do I switch it off in my head and let him handle her psycho-drama?
2006-06-06 01:27:37 · 14 answers · asked by minerva 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for the answers so far. BTW no kids involved, he's told her to get help and move on and I've never met her nor had contact. It's getting her out of my head that's my problem.
2006-06-06 03:29:56 · update #1
Sorry but there is only so much help you can give someone like that ,seems to me your boyfriend has done his share and now it's time for him to get on with his life and cut off all contact with this woman,maybe he does feel sorry but obviously this is having an effect on you and surely after all this time it can not be good for him either, really think you need to have a long chat with him about this because if your relationship is going to last he needs to undo the strings he has created for himself by allowing her to partially control his life and that's what she is doing using her mental state to interfere with every relationship he has ,he needs to see this ,but i do admire him for standing by her but enough is enough
2006-06-06 05:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by okayalder62 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you have never met her, or had contact with her, your boyfriend is lieing to you. If she was that much of a psycho she would have found a way to speak to you by now. I really feel you are being used here. Your bf says leave it to him because he knows her better and doesn't want to be with her? neither do you so why won't he let you get involved? You need to find out exactly what is going on here because you need to figure out what is best for you, and you cannot do that without knowing the facts.x
2006-06-06 03:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's times to realize that someone's an ex and move on completely, breaking all ties. Understandably, your bf feels like he needs to help this person due to their mental instabilities however he needs to put his priorities straight. At this point, his current relationship should be his focus and if someone is going to be detrimental to it, he should stand up for your relationship. Obviously this person has caused damage to other relationships in the past so he should already know it's a real possibility this time around too. You need to talk to him and let him know that although you feel for this person, you feel she's not healthy for your relationship. He's going to have to make some tough choices from there. Good luck!
2006-06-06 01:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand your concern, but this is something HE must handle.
Even if someone outside your relationship is unstable, he is responsible to put this person in her place, OUTSIDE your relationship. Whether he tells her not to come around, gets a restraining order, whatever the options are, I think it's in bad taste for him to allow her to take a toll in your relationship, and having you worry.
he needs to take charge in a more aggressive manner. Doesn't matter if she's harmless or not, if you are feeling unsafe, if there are kids involved, HE needs to put a stop to this.
BTW, if you are SERIOUSLY concerned for the safety of you or children involved, you can take a restraining order out on her too.
2006-06-06 01:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not switch it off. Have you ever thought it might be a game they are playing so they can carry on with the relationship. Do you have proof that when she has called him that he hasn't gone round & slept with her. If he cared fro you as much as you care for him he would tell her to go and get help.
2006-06-06 01:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by scarlet pimpernell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Restraining order, she sounds like the type that wont stop, I am afraid helping her will only make it worse. If she needs to be sectioned then let that happen!
2006-06-06 03:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by overload_uk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me such as you and your husband have a great possibility to get finished custody of all the infants and then he would desire to stand up to her and basically enable supervised visitations in a public place. J
2016-09-28 03:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by erlebach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay alert and look for signs of danger/ this is a dangerous situation. people with mental illness usually do not know what they do and even if they did, they wll just blame it on the illness. be aware
2006-06-06 01:32:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer:
monitor what she's doing, keep evidence, and get an injunction.
It takes time, but it can be very effective.
2006-06-06 01:32:03 · answer #9 · answered by crunchyfrog555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the pain in *** to court and get an injunction order to stay away
2006-06-06 01:40:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋