How can I make a long distance relationship work?

Question

My guy lives in Scotland, and I'm in Brighton. As students, it's very expensive to travel to see him, and vice versa, more than once a term. I only see him twice in ten weeks! Is there anything other than talking on the phone or msn that we can do to help keep this alive over the distance?

Answer 1

Me and my girlfriend have managed to survive the last year with me in England and her on Isle of Man. It's difficult and you have to have mutual trust. The hardest bit is that when you do see each other there's pressure to go out and do 'exciting' things so if you're not careful you risk missing out on the best bits of a relationship, ie just cuddling up on the sofa or spending all day in bed.

It's also important to both have your own lives when you're apart. It's not healthy to spend all your time on the phone to someone who's miles away as a) you get bored of someone talking about things when you have no idea who or what they're talking about and can't relate to it (trust me, this happens), b) you become too dependent on someone who isn't actually there, c) you start to resent the fact they take up most of your time, and d) your phone bill will be massive! Don't talk just for the sake of talking. Wait until you actually have something to say. The world won't stop turning if you go a day without speaking. Really. It just makes it better the next time you do speak.

We managed to get through it seeing each other on average one weekend a month and happily we're getting a place together next month so it can work. If it's meant to be it will last. Just don't put too much pressure on yourselves.

Finally, phone sex can work once you get past the stage of feeling ridiculous. Photo messaging and webcams can also keep things fun until you see each other. Try Skype with a webcam. Much more personal and intimate than msn

Hope this helps. Good luck

Answer 2

Me and my boyf did the long distance thing for 3 1/2 years when he lived in Aberdeen and I lived in Suffolk - it's a killer. Also he was a chef and I worked in an office so our body clocks were totally out of sync i.e. I'm asleep just as he's finishing work - made even phoning very difficult.

However we tried to speak several times a day - I would ring to say good morning, he would ring to say good night and we'd try to speak at lunchtime. People used to say it sounded excessive but we probably spoke for 5 mins in total each day. It was just nice, felt like he was still hearing about the everyday things.

Another thing that worked really well for us was whenever one if us travelled to see the other, we both went halfs on the tickets - that way, the one who travels more often doesn't pay so much. You're more likely to see each other more often if you each have less to pay.

Investigate using MegaBus - its a horrible journey but unbelievably cheap, once got single to London for £6. First Scotrail also do Bargain Berths on their sleeper trains for as little as £19.50 from Aberdeen to London Euston.

In the end, if its meant to be, nothing will split you up. We've been together 6 years now and I'm back in Aberdeen. At least I know that we can survive the everyday crap when we've done something lke that.....

Good luck and keep us posted!

Answer 3

You have to both want to keep the relationship going 100%, both of you have to be open & honest, be capable of staying faithful and celibate when apart and both of you have to be happy being on your own at weekends and parties while all the couples are smooching.
You have to both be 110% committed to making the relationship last specially as you don't see each other often.
The biggest hurdle is seeing all the other couples hugging and together while you just have online chats & the phone, it can be done but the odds are against you.
BUT if you do both manage to get through the time apart you're relationship will be so much stronger & more fulfilling cos you will both have a life, friends and interests that will be unknown territory to the other

Answer 4

this relationship will work with you and your mate are doing, communicating through through phone and internet constantly. But for sex you will have to play the out of sight out of mind game and dont imagine him much in that area so that you dont arouse yourself and lust for it too much because it is not available. At least ten weeks is not too long a time not to see a loved if you are in constant touch, because others go for years and it still works with trust.

Answer 5

Long distance relationship difficult to maintain.Phone,email,chat can bring closer.The physical distance still remains unsolved.You have to get reconciled with the situation,till both of you can stay at same place.Good luck

Answer 6

It is difficult but just keep constant communication,so as not to lose interest in each other.

Answer 7

o darling give me a miss call i will be here for u

Answer 8

Phone and cybersex... :D