ive found my fiance emailing women on net, what do I do?

Question

We have been together 5 years, have been in our house for 2 years and are due to get married next year! He says he doesnt know why he did it and says maybe it was to flirt. I dont know what to do. Does he not want me? How can I trust him now? Im really confused

I feel worse bout it cus we met on the net

Answer 1

confront him. you are giving him the rest of your life, and your trust, and the best years of your life [you already gave five years!]

the least he can do is give you an explanation.

then you take your time and make up your mind then. good luck..i know it's difficult.

Answer 2

listen i think that there must be some desire that hes lacking maybe it is time that you both went away for a raunchy weekend it will make it or break it. You also needs to forget embarrassment and talk about the things that are wrong in your relationship. You both may need to flirt with other people but this can always be very dodgy as there must be boundaries. You both must agree to these boundaries, exploring different erotic places together with my partner just keeps our sex life as imaginative and rampant most of the time its like the first time except for all the daft mistakes and fumbling. Please sit down and talk about it, maybe you will see that your not right for each other, but maybe you'll get married and live happily ever after.

Answer 3

Dont worry about internet friends for you husband, the way you are feeling right now to have us as your friends who you can communicate with any time, that is the same way your fience feels about female friends on the net nothing more, nothing less. You should even know better about friendship on the internet, it has not particulare sex that you can communicate and if he was not an honest man, he would not even have you access his email address, but because he feels there is nothing fish about everything, so he is open with his mail box to you. Always trust your man and you will live a happy person and healthy relationship, by asking him you will just hurt his feeling for silly things.

Answer 4

First, I suggest putting that computer in a very visible area, like the livingroom. It will lessen his chances of being sneaky about stuff. Then talk with him. Tell him what you expect. I had this issue with my husband. Its emotional cheating to me and I told him as much. I also told him that if I caught him at it again, I'd have to leave. Porn, internet flirting, I just refuse to allow it into my marriage. We also took off all instant messenger programs on the computer. To some people, its not a big deal. To others, its a huge deal. Either way, this is definately an issue that needs to be cleared up and agreed upon BEFORE the wedding. Its not good to have unresolved issues going into a marriage!

Answer 5

Honey trap. Log on from a friend's house, or internet cafe, give yourself a new name and load up a picture of someone else. Come on to him, starting with mild flirtation and then take it as far as he seems willing to go. That way you'll know for sure exactly what his penchant is for. You may be pleasantly surprised if anything more than light flirting elicits the response, "sorry, I've got a girlfriend, just looking for a laugh". However, be prepared that he might want to get to know your alter ego a little more intimately...

I can't tell you at what stage it becomes unnaccpetable - that's down to your own standards, but if he goes as far as meeting you for sex, I suggest you turn up with a large "you're dumped, loser" sign, unless you want an open marriage or membership to a swinging club.

Answer 6

trust is the basis of all relationships,
he obviously does want you else he wouldn't be marrying you.
email may seem harmless, u haven't said if the content was sexual.
this has obviously upset u, anything big or small should come to compromise between u both.
if u ask him just to give it up, he may become unhappy n turn to meeting other women in the flesh! if yr happy to keep it on the screen (cyber) if that's wot he's doing, it may prevent him becoming unfaithful.
i have found younger men (under 35) r most likely to need more stimulation. if yr man is young he will mature at 35.
look around u, any1 u no over this age, y'l c wot i mean.
hope this has helped

Answer 7

If he is actively seeking to flirt with other women, whether it is on the net or in the clubs, he does not truly love you. When you truly love someone you don't need this kind of stimulation to keep you happy. He must have known how it would hurt your feelings and we do not hurt the ones we love. If he didn't mention it, it's the same as lieing about it and a relationship based on deception is never going to last. I hate to say it but I don't think this guy is worthy of your love. x

Answer 8

You think that he will make a new girlfriend just because u guys met on the net? I think you should trust him....maybe it was an innocent flirt.....maybe he wants to find out if he loves you enough.
Don't worry....get married and be happy!

Answer 9

As long as he is not meeting up with them, then this is far better than flirting with a real live person ! Maybe this is just a way for him to feel that he has not lost his appeal to the opposite sex. I am curious as to whether you found this out by accident or by snooping - this may open up a completly different can of worms. Why not try doing the same thing.....and see how he likes it !

Answer 10

if i was you go on the computer together just keep a close eye on the emails if hes deleting them then hes hiding something!! also check his mobile for messages etc you may be getting the wrong idea about him even though you both met on the net thats not to say hes going to do the same thing...just be aware of his actions you have been together this long ...if your a couple who can talk then have a meal or something and discuss that its bothering you abit and see what he says...good luck

Answer 11

Ask him if it is OK if you read the e-mails. If it was just harmless playing around, he should not mind. If he does not want to see them, RED FLAGS.

He knows why he did them. It is not like you e-mail someone by accident. You have to deliberately do it. Somewhere in those 5 years the ball of communication was dropped. Maybe the home life is not as he envisioned it. Maybe there si friction there, tension, something. If he was writing those girls but still doing for you the things he did when he was trying to win your heart, I would not worry. if he no longer does those things, then RED FLAGS.