Do you know ant really funny jokes?

Answer 1

Things to do in an elevator:

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, They open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers, "This is my personal space!"

27.) ask "excuse me, my butt itching, can anyone scratch it for me?" (you are holding things in your two hands)

28.) Turn against the wall and start talking to the wall.

29.) Look at your "invisivle" watch, and take your wrist and ask one of the people "Is this time right?"

30.) Start hummong really loudly like you are meditating "UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

31.) start doing jumping jacks.

32.) Look at your hand and say out load "woooooow, coool" and wave your hand at the people and say "isn't it wow and cool?"

33.) Sit on the floor and close your eyes, and start snoring really loudly.

34.) Look suddenly at the floor of the elevator and start screaming at the "invisible" squirrel.

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Answer 2

what happens to an egg if it fell in the sea?
it will be wet!!

what is the thing that we can sleep in, sit on and brush our teeth with?
a bed, a chair and a toothbrush!!

why do we drink coffee?
cos we cat eat it!!

what's the difference between a 1-year-old ant and a 21-year-old elephant?
20 years!!!!

Answer 3

After retiring, I went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

You'll love this one.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I
told the woman that I was very sorry but I seemed to have left my
wallet at Home I will have to go home and come back later. "The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the social security office...She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You would have gotten disability too.

Answer 4

More from Mary and her little lamb:

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb,
But I've never seen her bear (bare!)

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
And now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb,
You've heard this tale before,
But did you know she passed her plate
And had a little more...

Answer 5

Mary had a little lamb its fur was white and whispy,then Marys lamb got foot and mouth and now its black and crispy

Answer 6

Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?

HIDE PUNCHLINE
Because, they were in the colonies!

Answer 7

condensed version: when god made Scotland he gave them rivers of golden amber ,hills of purple hues ,really nice people etc etc ... the arch angel Gabriel said to god haven't you been a little bit generous . ....and god replied ....have you seen the neighbours ....(.England for those who don't know were Scotland is ) haha

Answer 8

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?



He worked it out with a pencil.

Answer 9

Whats white and doesn't climb trees?


A fridge.

Answer 10

whats red and bad for your teeth?
a brick!!

What do you call a zoo with just one dog in it ?
a shitszu!!