Should I goto this funeral?

Question

OK.. Long story but I'll try to shorten it.
My parents split up when I was real young.. Well.. My Mom remarried another man who raised us kids for 13 years, Before my mom passed away. Well he remarried afterwards, Now his wife passed away this weekend and the funeral is tomorrow.
My step-father and mother had nothing but problems near the end before she passed.. Argued all the time..etc.. etc.. And I personally couldn't stand him back then. But my sister called me and wants me to goto the funeral with her. My step-father has been out of my life for over 14 years. My daughter wants me to go.. But I am debating on it.. Should I? Or better yet.. Would you?

Answer 1

it would be a wonderful thing for you to go, for you sister and your daughter - it would show them what kind of person you are. and you don't have to stay long or even socialize. your step-father would know that you came and it would show him what kind of person you are - - - a wonderful, generous, caring human being!!!

good luck!!!

Answer 2

There are 2 reasons to attend a funeral.
1. You liked the "passed on" person and want to say goodbye.
2. You like or respect the living person and want show your support for them.
If neither fit I wouldn't go.

Answer 3

I would put the past where it is, in the past. I think your Dad needs to have the support right now, however you can give it. I think also it's important to be there for your sister and your daughter. For your daughter it is also setting a good example of how even in families, there are problems, people get angry, but you can move past it and still be there for one another.Your daughter also needs to learn how death is a part of life and how we handle it, talk to her, be there for her and others. I am sorry to hear of all of the troubles but to me, life is too short. You ultimately have to do what is right for you. However, when you asked, would I? Yes, I would. I hope it helps. I know it isn't the easiest thing to do but I think you'll feel good that you did.

Answer 4

Go to pay respects to the man who helped raise you for 13 years and the woman he loved and lost. No one can expect a good day, because it is a funeral, but just go and let him know you are there for him. You are mature enough to do that.
Maybe it will bring a reunion between you and him.

Answer 5

If you can go and be emotionally supportive of your stepfather, then go. If you are going to harbor bad feelings toward him, then don't. Regardless of how you feel about him, there are two things I would urge you to remember. He gave you a lot of years of his life. The problems between your mother and he have nothing to do with you. Second, he has just experienced the loss of someone he cared about.

If roles were reversed, would you want him at the funeral of your husband?

Answer 6

I once went to the funeral of someone I couldn't stand, just to support my mom. Of course there wasn't someone there that I didn't want to renew ties with, so it's a bit different. But, you can always go to support your sister and if your stepdad tries to get back in your life you can tell him to shove it, if you so desire.

Answer 7

Yes I would go to support your sister if she still has a relationship with the step father.

Answer 8

Yes, definitely go to the funeral. Put on a brave face, pay your respects, and then leave. It's the right thing to do.

Answer 9

If there were no bad words or feelings between my step-father and myself, I would go out of respect for the 13 years that he spent with my mother. I find it better to try to come to terms (if possible) with relatives and try to forgive them.

Answer 10

A Funeral is meant to pay respect to the person. Even if you didn't like them go for the sake of respect and you won't have a guilty conscience. ; )