ok a week after i got married my husband's sister,her boyfriend,and her 5 kids moves in with with us. it was supposed to be for a "couple of weeks" lol but of course that turned into months. she never took care of her kids and i saw her mistreating them a number of times, not to mention that she just up and left whenever she felt like it. then she got arrested for drugs (felony charges). the kids kept living with us and we soon found out that in order to take proper care of them we needed custody (school, doctor, etc.). she had been in jail for about a year and she got out on bail. she came to live with us cause she didn't have anywhere else to go and so she could see her kids. but my husband told her that she couldn't take collect calls from her boyfriend in jail so she left her kids to go somewhere she could talk to him. she hasn't changed a bit and i don't know what to do. she's probably going back to jail when she goes to court, but now she's being a real bi*ch to us.what can i do?
2006-06-05 17:03:05 · 9 answers · asked by aj607 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi,
First off someone should thank you for taking care of this irresponsible couple. If she is living somewhere else the I would tell her the only way she would see the kids is on YOUR time and NOT at your home.
This way you keep control. I feel bad for the children. Get custody of them for doctors and school nd such so they know there is someone in the world that they can depend on
Take care of yourselves. Make sure you take of yourselves. Go out as a couple 2 times a month . It will allow you to reconnect and discuss the situation without the kids hearing it.
Your sister-in-law has ruined a big part her life don't let her do it to you and her kids. Kids need continuity to remain and grow up stable. Start taking them to a park once a week or a movie if money permits or play tee-ball. This gives them security There will be less outbursts from them .
Well good luck and again thank you for being so generous with taking care of these poor children.
2006-06-05 17:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by jewels44001 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It appears to me like this sister-in-law has been controlling your home and life for too long and should have been told to leave two weeks after she moved in and I'm surprised that you allowed it to go on to the point of you having to play parent's to her kids. But anyway honey, it's not what happens to you in life that makes the difference, it's how you react to each circumstance you encounter that determines the results. Each of us has the choice to either make a negative or a positive call in any given situation, and it seems to me since you let this situation get out of control, your choice was negatively chosen. When she showed up on your doorstep and stayed on longer than intended, you knew then that this problem was not going to go away and it was going to make permanent changes in your life. You see what I mean, you made that choice. Your sister-in-law sounds like someone that hasn't grown up as yet. She seems unable to comprehend the actions of her own doing and it has left her with sad consequences, like her children. I can sense the frustration and hurt that this woman has caused you and if you don't take a stand now and use your good common sense and make the right choices now, she will make you feel even worse over time. You don't need this woman anymore than you need a life sentence in a federal prison honey, you are going to have to tell her to leave your home for good and to get out of your lives. This woman needs help, and the kind of help she needs you cannot give her. All you are doing is aiding and abetting her present life-style and if you continue the end result will be your family destroyed. Tough love sweetie, your have to tell her to get a life, cause you can't do it for her any more. Think about it, do you owe her anything? Has she got some kind of hold over you? What is holding you back from speaking up? Kick her out, keep the kids and you can prove to the courts that she is an unfit mother. Besides, look at what she has done for her kids so far, these children don't need to be abused in this way and it should be reported to the proper authorities. You don't need this headache or do you, come-on woman get a life.
2006-06-05 19:14:42 · answer #2 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off.......call your phone company and block collect calls.
Tell her that if she doesnt sign custody of her kids to you and your husband that they will end up in the system if she goes back to jail and she may NEVER get them back. You can always take her to court to get custody, it doesnt sound like it would be hard to win.
2006-06-05 17:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by brattydiva_diva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your Husband about this!! first of all bring her issues into your home is overboard and if she isn't ready to change then maybe she should find a place to stay and start getting serious about her life and she isn't being a good influence on her own kids!!!tell your husband that it's time she starts acting like an adult, so you guys need to stop treating her like a baby!! thank you tho' for taking care of her kids!!
2006-06-05 17:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by bubble butt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be firm, let her be a ***** to you it dosn't help her reagain a relationship between her and her kids, be there for the kids but display tough love on her, she needs to wake up to herself and get her priorities right!
Keep up the good work with the kids at times like these they need a stable home and a lots of love.
2006-06-05 17:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by ozi_nut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to court and petition to have her rights removed, if she is any kind of mother she will let them go without a fight because she knows they will have a better life with you.. GOOD LUCK and there is a special place for people like you who can take care of 5 kids like that. God bless you!
2006-06-05 17:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go ahead and see if you get sole guardianship over the kids and tell het to go 2 ****
2006-06-05 17:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by lonerunnerbuchanan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her she needs to find somewhere else to stay!
2006-06-05 17:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by rmadd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
add this chapter to your book,,
2006-06-05 17:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by seabeeharleyguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋