I need some serious help...?

Question

I've been a carver for almost 2 years, and I hate it. I have so many scars from it. I really need a new way to get my mind off my problems, any ideas?

Answer 1

Getting Help
There are better ways to deal with troubles than cutting - healthier, long-lasting ways that don't leave a person with emotional and physical scars. The first step is to get help with the troubles that led to the cutting in the first place. Here are some ideas for doing that:

1. Tell someone. People who have stopped cutting often say the first step is the hardest - admitting to or talking about cutting. But they also say that after they open up about it, they often feel a great sense of relief. Choose someone you trust to talk to at first (a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, doctor, or nurse). If it's too difficult to bring up the topic in person, write a note.

2. Identify the trouble that's triggering the cutting. Cutting is a way of reacting to emotional tension or pain. Try to figure out what feelings or situations are causing you to cut. Is it anger? Pressure to be perfect? Relationship trouble? A painful loss or trauma? Mean criticism or mistreatment? Identify the trouble you're having, then tell someone about it. Many people have trouble figuring this part out on their own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful.

3. Ask for help. Tell someone that you want help dealing with your troubles and the cutting. If the person you ask doesn't help you get the assistance you need, ask someone else. Sometimes adults try to downplay the problems teens have or think they're just a phase. If you get the feeling this is happening to you, find another adult (such as a school counselor or nurse) who can make your case for you.

4. Work on it. Most people with deep emotional pain or distress need to work with a counselor or mental health professional to sort through strong feelings, heal past hurts, and to learn better ways to cope with life's stresses. One way to find a therapist or counselor is to ask at your doctor's office, at school, or at a mental health clinic in your community.

Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that a person is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's other problems in a healthy way.

If you've been cutting and you want to stop, here are some approaches that might help you.

For people who cut, doing something different may be a big change. Making this change can take time because you are learning new ways of dealing with the things that led you to cut. The tips you'll see below can get you started. But a therapist or counselor can do more to help you heal old hurt and use your strengths to cope with life's struggles.

Start by being aware of which situations are likely to trigger your urge to cut. Make a commitment that this time you will not follow the urge, but will do something else instead.

Then make a plan for what you will do instead of cutting when you feel this urge.

Below are some tips you can try when you feel the urge to cut. We've put them into several categories because different people cut for different reasons. So certain techniques will work better for some people than others.

Look through all the tips and try the ones that you think might work for you. You may need to experiment because not all of these ideas will work for everyone. For example, some readers have told us that snapping a rubber band works for them as a substitute for cutting but others say that the rubber band triggers an urge to snap it too hard and they end up hurting themselves.

If one tip isn't right for you, that's OK. Use your creativity to find a better idea. Or talk with your therapist to get other ideas on what could work for you. The idea is to find a substitute for cutting — something that satisfies a need you might feel without being as harmful as cutting.

You may also find that one of these ideas works for you sometimes but not always. That's OK too. What a person needs can vary from time to time and from situation to situation.

Following the techniques listed below will help you think about why you might cut. The more you learn about what's underneath your cutting behavior, the better you will be able to understand and develop healthy ways to heal that pain.


Things That Might Distract You
Like all urges, the urge to cut will pass if you wait it out. Distracting yourself with something else helps time go by and gets your mind off the urge to cut. The more you wait out the urge without giving in, the more your urges will decrease over time.

Here are some things you can try while waiting for a cutting urge to pass:

call a friend and talk about something completely different
take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower)
go for a walk or run, take a bike ride, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise
play with a pet
watch TV (change the channel if the show gets upsetting or features cutting)
drink a glass of water
Things That Might Soothe and Calm You
Sometimes people cut because they're agitated or angry — even though they may not recognize that feeling. If that's true for you, it can help to do something calming when you feel the need to cut.


Even if you're not sure why you're cutting, it's worth giving these ideas a try:

play with a pet
take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower)
take a bath (make sure you don't have razors near the tub)
listen to soothing music that will shift your mood
try a breathing exercise
try some relaxing yoga exercises
Things That Might Help You Express the Pain and Deep Emotion
Some people cut because the emotions that they feel seem way too powerful and painful to handle. Often, it may be hard for them to recognize these emotions for what they are — like anger, sadness, or other feelings. Here are some alternatives to cutting that you can try:

draw or scribble designs on paper using a red pen or paint on white paper — if it helps, make the paint drip
write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper
draw the pain
compose songs or poetry to express what you're feeling
listen to music that talks about how you feel
Things That Might Help Release Physical Tension and Distress
Sometimes, doing things that express anger or release tension can help a person gradually move away from cutting. Try these ideas:

go for a walk or run, ride a bike, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise
rip up some paper
write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper
scribble on paper using a red pen
squeeze, knead, or smoosh a stress ball, handful of clay, or Play-Doh
Things That Might Help You Feel Supported and Connected
If you cut because you feel alone, misunderstood, unloved, or disconnected, these ideas may help:


call a friend
play with a pet
make a cup of tea, some warm milk, or cocoa
try some yoga exercises that help you feel grounded, such as triangle pose
try a breathing exercise like the one in the button above
curl up on your bed in a soft, cozy blanket
Things That Are Substitutes for the Cutting Sensation
You'll notice that all the tips in the lists above have nothing to do with the cutting sensation. When you have the idea to self-injure, start by trying the ideas on those lists — such as making art, walking your dog, or going for run.

If they don't help, move on to the substitute behaviors shown below.

These substitute behaviors won't work for everyone. They also don't help people get in touch with why they are cutting. What they do is provide immediate relief in a way that doesn't involve cutting, and therefore holds less risk of harm.

rub an ice cube on your skin instead of cutting it
wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it gently against your skin
draw on the skin with a soft-tipped red pen in the place you might usually cut
Cutting can be a difficult pattern to break. But it is possible. If you want help overcoming a self-injury habit and you're having trouble finding anything that works for you, talk with a therapist. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that someone is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's problems in a healthy way.

Answer 2

Get yourself some help, FAST!!!!! My daughter was also a carver and found out she is bipolar. She is taking daily meds now and doing great......

Answer 3

I build engines it's very similair to carving because it takes a long time and in the end product it makes you happy to be done with it. Oh-and you dont get many scars. good luck with your search.

Answer 4

I use to be a carver. anytime you feel like carving email me instead. I'll be a friend. I know i could have used one. mdollya @ y@hoo

Answer 5

people on line mean well, but we really can't help you. take the first real step and show one person hopefully an adultyour wounds or scars. espect some panic and fear from this person once they settle down ask them to help you tell someone who can help you like a parent, teacher or pastor.

you can do this......i know you can

Answer 6

Go out and get the CD set, the book "The Power Of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. That will change your life . You can do it !!!

Answer 7

you all can name me darth argentina for this one first the the drawback of a goalie.... sure goalie after considering it over im taking the origanal storyboard variation of the ewok, which wasnt a ewok in any respect however a wookie so ha a two meter tall creature with lightning speedy reflexes is my decide on.

Answer 8

Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great content, information articles, expert advice and links on the subject there.

Answer 9

well,i think you should focus on getting a new job that is interesting and not harmful to you. Just think about good things not bad things that can make you very happy!!

Answer 10

Music is a great way to release tension and express your inner emotions. Do you enjoy singing?

Answer 11

Read, go for a walk, do some exercise.


as long as you are NOT harming anyone else