How can you tell another parent that they are to far below us on the social ladder for our kids to be friends?

Question

I don't want to be rude but come on. She shows up to pick the kids up in sweats and her hair in a pony tail.

Answer 1

Just tell her that if you wanted your kids associating with 'her kind' you would move to W.VA. and live in a trailer. Or, just ask her all the time if she is tired. or moving. or pregnant. She will catch the hint eventually that she looks like shite.
I know EXACTLY what you mean. These are the type who go to discount book stores, drink store bought coffee, (already ground!!!) **shudder** and buy shoes at Payless!
I can just picture her Kmart slip on's, frumpy T's and baggy sweats. Run while you can!

Answer 2

Sounds like I wouldn't allow my kids around you. That is so snotty. Some people don't have the convince that everyone else has. If the mother is a slob doesn't mean that you should treat a child bad. Maybe the mother would feel better about herself if she had someone to talk to or even have her child spend some time with. I don't like snobby *** people. I go places with my hair in a pony tail and with my sweats on. But I am not trying to impress the world. Sounds like you are trying to prove something that you are not. I am not low class or consider myself low class. I have a very nice home, husband, car, etc... And I take time to talk to people that may be "BELOW" me. My husband and I were not on the same social class and if I would have been like you I would have missed out on someone great!!!
I assume you are not christian and if you are you are not serving GOD the way he wants you to. Open your heart and be glad that people would want to talk to you or your child. Life is to short to be an ***.

Answer 3

You can't. And be mindful of the fact that there are others who are just as capable of judging you. I think you are a snob, and I look down on ALL snobs. And just what kind of social ladder do you think you are on? Are you surrounded by the kind of "people" that compare cars, incomes, homes, looks, and kids only to overlook their own detrimental behaviors? Can you admit even one flaw about yourself? Are you so self-absorbed that decorum is more important than acceptance? You are on the same social level as the rest of us. Your pedestal may make you feel taller, but the base is weak. And if you are so great, why don't you post your picture? I find it interesting that you exercise avoidant behavior and you are an avid runner. You would make for a great subject on anyones psych thesis. Good luck in life. I see a lot more pain coming your way and no one can run from it, even you.

Kudos to JenJen

Answer 4

Invite the other parent in for coffee. Have a nice chat and find out what kind of person she is. I don't see how the way she dresses or wears her hair has bearing on her kids and your kids being friends. I have my hair in a pony most of the time because it is required in my work taking care of people and sometimes I just leave it up at home too. I also wear older clothes at home because of the dog and cat hair or cleaning the house.

Answer 5

You have no idea what the lady might be going through in her life. Just think how you would feel if somebody was saying your kids weren't good enough for them. As high up the social ladder you may think you are, there is always someone higher up!! Give this person a chance and find out what they are like on the inside, not what they are wearing...

Answer 6

I don't know who you think you are. What social latter says that you cant pick you kids up in sweats and a pony tail. What ever social ladder your on, you re bound to fall off sometime soon. get a life, lady. and stop worrying about everyone elses.

Answer 7

You can't always pick your kids' friends. Plus, if the kids are nice and play well with your kids, who care's? You don't have to be best friends with the Mom who has no intention of selling out to some outdated "Americana" ideal of keeping up with the Jones'. We all come into the world and leave this world in the same "fashion", you won't be able to take your social status with you into the next world because God doesn't give a sh!t for your kind.

Answer 8

oh don't you hate when that happens, i have the same problem at my daughters preschool when she tries to become friends with scholarship kids hello you are never gonna get anywhere in life hanging out with losers with no fashion sense. the best thing to do is when you pick up your child is loudly drop some fashion tips in her direction and remind your kids the sweats in public are never okay and unless its one of those ultra chic ponytails your hair must always be done. you could also invite the offending mom out and kindly remind her that unlike the school the club does have a country club

Answer 9

What a terrible lesson to teach your child...are you perfect..does a hair ever blow out of place...maybe she pays less attention to her appearance and more attention to her kids..get some sweats and go play with your kids...they'll love you more than that your self proclaimed placement on the social ladder...and remember...you can always fall from that ladder!

Answer 10

You must be one of those shallow people more for your own better interest than your children's. You don't care about your childrens perspective nor do you care for thier relationships, in other words you are more interested in being a snob than a parent. And let me just add, if your children grow up in a shallow existance - nothing will ever be good enough for them and they will grow up unhappy, do you really want to be the reason behind this? Do you really want to be the one they hate after therapy?

Answer 11

What, you expect pearls and high heels?

I suspect she is far above you on any social ladder that matters.

If you have to worry so much about what people look like then you cannot be very concerned with the substance.

People of substance have no time to be bothered with trying to look like something they are not.