I met my boyfriend online 8 months ago and we've been doing long distance relationship for over 2 months now. I'm 28 and he's 25. During his last visit i caught him cheating emotionally through chats and e-mails with a 16 year-old girl whom he told me also found him online. He said he stopped being in contact with her a while back since she started to get obsessed with him. He said it meant nothing and he didn't even know it was wrong and that it would hurt me. What he did hurts me so bad because i gave him my full trust and it even hurts 20 times more to think chats and e-mails are practically our only means of communication and he used them with someone else. Anyways he promised he won't do it or hurt me again. In this type of relationship where trust is practically the only thing keeping us together, what can i do to rebuild trust? Should I even believe him anymore? I'll be happy to let it pass if only I know he won't do it again. But how will i know he won't?
2006-06-05 15:55:59 · 23 answers · asked by JT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From personal experience, you probably shouldn't trust him. But only you can be the judge of where your level of trust should be. If he met you on line (and I married someone from a chat room) then that's where he "meets" women, what makes us think we will be the "one" that makes them change their ways? If you love him and you think y'all can make this work, and you both can trust each other then go for it. Since our marriage we limit ourselves on the Internet, and concentrate on each other when we are home together, but do I 100% trust him on the Internet.....no
2006-06-05 16:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by alpharose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Online relationships are complicated and trust is a key issue when it comes to this sort of thing. Having been in an online relationship myself I am not about to bash it into the ground as I completely understand where you are coming from. However, my guy never spoke "emotionally" to a girl almost 10 years younger than he was. Now there is your problem? What kind of guy looks for emotional satisfaction from a kid when he could get it from an adult? Furthermore, if he developed an emotional relationship with you and he has been caught in the act having it with someone else...who is to say he isn't fooling everyone?
Honey you can do better than that, and although it would be hard at first..seek love elsewhere. You would never know if he stops doing it (unless of course you have his email password), and even then why should you sneak around him to find out the truth?
These online relationships could work don't take me wrong, but when you have a gut instinct that something could be wrong....go with it! You are probably right!
Good luck! and let me know how it works out!
-email micheypoo@yahoo.co.uk
2006-06-05 23:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know from Internet "relationships" whereby the two never actually meet! I think people who get involved this way are not really connecting IN THE REAL WORLD. The Net gives a certain `anonymous' feel, and perhaps it leads one to feel that you don't have to `go the whole road' with someone you just type out chat to....if you get what I mean. Realistically, that is no way to have an actual relationship. So, with the question of trust, I think it's already out there; or he'd be IN a real relationship [as would you] maybe this sort of thing feels safer, but when you get down to it, I mean, how is Internet relationships going to replace one in the real world???? Also, if he is up to this sort of stuff, I don't think that is really for you. But you decide what sort of input you need for YOUR life to be a happy one.
Really, good luck with sorting this out...hope you find a real live person to share your life with!
2006-06-05 23:03:15 · answer #3 · answered by Tash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you met him on line and you all never seen one anotherSecond,,any man and woman that meet one another on line should start as friends, i HEARD OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT BUT I NEVER HEARD OF ON LINE LOVE.S how can you trust someone and you nor himhad a first date ,never met and don't know one another.Look ,he is younger than you and bein 25 he seem like he not ready for a commitment but you are.Can you see this girl he were chattin with are 16.Not try to hurt your heart,but a long distant ralatonship never work.I don't know how far distant you to are but if it 100 of miles ,if it were me i just would rather be friends.I wouldn't wanna have a long distant relationship..What would happen ,you end having a broken heart like right now and it wold never stop,I know you not that desperate where you has to fine a man on line and then long distant ,at that.No ,honey,you got to do better,This ralatinsip is not for you.Sorry,but the truth is the light.
2006-06-05 23:30:22 · answer #4 · answered by deedybug50 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever met this man in person? A staggering percentage of people online aren't who they say they are. I seriously suggest getting a background check on anyone you meet online. You deserve to have a complete relationship with a person you can see and touch and trust. You deserve to be taken out on dates and hugged when you're sad. Watch dateline this wed. at 8pm.
2006-06-05 23:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by AnswerFace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah.... drop him because 1st of all hes a player and secondly, online dating is hard to deal with. Like you cant go out all the time, u dont see each other and stuff.... forget about the 2years. u can always find new ones right? well yeah goodluck
2006-06-05 23:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by Help me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
internet boyfriend? you found him online and expect him not to talk or meet others on line? thats how you all meet.. a online relationship and miles and miles apart , how can you trust him anyway? drop him, he is a player.. a online player will play on no matter what..he will do it again cause he can and he will continue telling you the lies he is now.. trust is earned, when its broken its hell to get back..
2006-06-05 23:41:01 · answer #7 · answered by countryrose24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was cheating with a 16 year old then your biggest problem is that hes a perv, and no you cant trust him.
2006-06-05 22:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lilia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a serious talk about this. If you don't feel he's up to keeping his promises then I'd suggest you let him rot at his keyboard.
2006-06-05 22:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by will 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it hard having a long distance relationship one more time want hurt
2006-06-05 23:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by queshia p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋