who's got a good limerick?

Question

There was a young Lady called tart
Who felt she needed a fart
She stepped outside
And to her surprise
Blew over a horse and cart

Answer 1

THESE ARE A LITTLE DIRTY SORRY BUT THEY ARE ALL I KNOW
old mother hubbard
went to the cubbard
to get her poor dog a bone
when she bent over
old rover took over
mother hubbard got a bone of her own
.
little miss muffet sat on the tuffet
eating her curds and whey
along came a spider sat down beside her
said whats in the bowl bit**
.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun
stupid bit** forget the pill now they have a son
.
there once was a kid named baloo
who took a nap in his canoe
he dreamed about venus played with his penis
and woke up with a hand full of goo
.

Answer 2

I adore writing limericks! I only have 2 handy saved on my computer, although I write a lot more. Here they are:

I’ll make a nonsensical rhyme
Some writers may deem this a crime
It is a great pleasure
Making poems of this measure
I’m having a jolly good time!

(This next one is mediocre...)

I once took a trip to the park
Then suddenly heard a bark
I looked at the pug
Who then turned to the bug
“The insect made the noise! Hark!”

Hope you like!

Answer 3

There was an old man from Nantucket
He smiled as he sat in a bucket
The water got cold
His old lady got bold
He finally stood up and said **** it.

Answer 4

There once was a woman named Alice
who confused dynamite for a phallus
they found her vagina
in North Carolina
and bits of her tats down in Dallas


(FYI: phallus=a man's dinky-doodle)

Answer 5

This one is a classic:

There was a young lady of Exeter
So pretty, that men craned their necks at her.
One went so far
As to wave, from his car,
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

Answer 6

I once had a man that I loved
We fit like a hand and a glove
but he broke my heart
he wasnt very smart
so i turned him into a dove.

???!!!

Answer 7

there once was a girl from France
who didn't know she could dance
she hopped on her feet
and went with the beat
and now has a partner named Lance

i wrote it myself

Answer 8

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose d-i-c-k was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
as he wiped the c-u-m from his chin
if my ear was a p-u-s-s-y I'd f-u-c-k it

Answer 9

I once had a pet cow named Bill
But one day he got very ill
I told him, "Please rest,
I'm doing my best
To keep you from befriending the grill."