Right now she has her father's last name but I want her to have mines. He only pays one hundred dollars a month for child support and he never complies with the visitation. In fact he only sees her when I seem to need a baby-sitter which is next to never (I rather have family baby sit). He doesn't call to see how she is doing, in fact if she was to get hit by a car (goodness forbid) and I called him right now to tell him, most likely I wouldn't be able to get through. The main reason why I think he wanted to have our daughter is because he wanted me to stay with him (how many of you heard that?) but because I don't want to be with him anymore, it's like he's a father when it is convenient and necessary for him. So I think I'm justifiably right to want to change her name but I know I will have a problem presenting this to him (of course) but really...should I?
2006-06-05 14:07:22 · 10 answers · asked by Yondie 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She's only three years old right now and I've been teaching her to say her name with my last name but she already knows how to spell her name with her dads...should I still go for it because she is still young?
2006-06-05 14:13:50 · update #1
I don't want to sound harsh but that's why we have to be careful who we have a baby by, he may not be a good father in your eyes but in her eyes he may be the best father in the world. my father is an alcholic and my mother never talked down to us about him. we would pack our bags to go to his house for the weekend and he would never show up. i would fall asleep on the sofa with my bag waiting, she would say go to bed and if he comes i will wake you. i forgave him when i saw him months later. she would make him take us to his mother's or his sister's house when he finally showed up drunk with his girlfriend or some other friend who was driving because she would not let us go if he was driving drunk .she knew he did'nt have food or had his drunk friends over and it would'nt be safe for us at his house, but i loved him unconditionally now he lives in another city and he's a weekend drunk, and i still love him he apologised for being a bad dad and says he will be a better grandad and he is, and i thank and respect my mother for standing back and giving my father enough rope to hang his self so what i'm telling you is she will eventually blame you for not letting her see her dad or changing her name and if he is not physically abusive to your daughter let her work it out when she gets older believe me you will someday get the satisfaction of your daughter cursing him out for not being there for her and the stupid look on his face. it will be worth everything your going through now. whatever you do don't do it to get back at him and remember her feelings keep the faith!
2006-06-05 14:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by spagetti7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if his name is on the birth certificate you probably have no legal rights to unless he agrees and signs papers. And I am not sure if the reasons you state are reasons to change her name. But the judge will decide that. He maybe would rather you and ex work on the reasons you want it changed instead.
2006-06-05 14:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think change it. My father never raised me but I have his last name but I would prefer to have my mother maiden name. I feel more in touch with my mother side then I do with any of my father side.
2006-06-05 14:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by MJane21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that is for the best, you should.
Depending where you live, you either have to petition the court for a legal name chanoce or can do it through common usage.
2006-06-05 14:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have the legal right to change her name until she is 5, with fathers consent. maybe you cuold add your last name, you know, hyphen it. just remember, you both have to agree.
2006-06-05 14:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by too young to be grandma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister is having the same prolem with her ex, so she has put all the paperwork in to do it. ofcourse they faught about it..... i think if it is what you want and you obviously weren't getting what you wanted when you were with him then jus do it.....and if he wants a fight fight ( you might be sick of fighting) but in the end the child is the one you have to think about......
2006-06-05 14:14:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how old she is. If she's old enough to walk and talk, I'd say no. Otherwise, if you want to and if you can, yes.
2006-06-05 14:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe consider just adding your last name to her legal already given name.... you dont want her getting angry with you when shes older......
2006-06-05 14:11:52 · answer #8 · answered by embraceme2nite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go ahead change her name...it might be the best for her
2006-06-05 14:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by chickenfat93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could but do it before she goes to school
2006-06-05 14:10:51 · answer #10 · answered by luvmadukes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋