Whoever says the most random thing gets best answer!?

Question

I'm a little bored and I love when people give funny random answers. And Rub a Dub Dub Thanks for the Grub Yeah God doesn't count! lol It is funny but I've heard it so many times that it's not randonly funny anymore!
Thanks Everyone!
~ Happy New Year! 2008~

Answer 1

My remote is still missing!

Answer 2

You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance

Answer 3

Within our very beings, we are that which is, at once, zero-dimensional and infinitely-dimensional. And if so, why not?
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There were those whose souls ne'r rendered in a great spasm of the cosmos; they were the lucky ones.
There were others who chose to live outside of time; they were never found again.
"Children, draw near and listen. For I tell you of places that never were and yet will always be... deep in your hearts," were the clarion tones of he who spoke within the realm. Basking, bathing, but not bemused, intelligences gathered.
There was so much time, not that it passed; for there, time simply was. Light was life, light is life, and (of course) light will be life. For what is life, if not that for which we live?
And one by one, the spark of each being flared for a thousand light-years, invigorating photons and other massless particles.
And they cared.
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"What are you doing there? Are you basking?"
"Yes. Would you care to join me?"
"Thank you; I believe I shall."
"Only fools believe."
"Verily."
And they fell silent.
After a short while, they fell noisy.
This took them aback.
Then it took them aforward.
Most of all, their dreams came true.
Followed shortly thereafter by their dreams coming false.
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"Argent moon, why dost thou mock me in my hour of need?"
No one heard the words; ne'r was one so alone as she found herself. Within those wretched corpses, armies of men had been torn asunder by the mere will of evil kings and malevolent monarchs. And where was their God? Was He out getting a haircut? Or was it that knowing all things from beginning to end (though time has no bounds), He approached from the East... and from the Up... and by way of the indecisiveness of temporal portholes, that He found Himself in a quandary. (And not just a regular quandary; it was a Quandary.)
"Silvery satellite, answer me post haste! And riddle me not as my spirit, nay, my heart is drawn from within me, to be without me. (You know, outside of me.)" And she rent upon the ground, boulders spraying from her blows. The great rocks dashed in pieces upon the plains and splintered infinitely small. (Okay, not infinitely small, just really tiny; thus indicating the violence she willed to incur upon said ground.)
And God placed His Fingers in His Ears and sang, "La, la, la. I can't hear you."
And on that note, the chapter ended.
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"You there! The lazy one that smells like a sack of week-old dung."
"Me, sir?"
"Yes. I want you to come up here and have a look at this; I'm not sure but I think that it is something from the future."
Hours later, the lazy one arrived. And, of course, it was too late; for they had gone back to the future.

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Her anger spent, her heart now faint, darkness rolling down from the sky, she thought quietly within herself, "If this is the way that Fate shall deal with one such as I, then why should I care?
"In caring, I bare my soul and my emotions run rampant, yea, they dash themselves upon the rocks. And I am a fool for the sake of the world." She closed her eyes and never again awoke.
And God saw that it was so. It was unexpected. He checked the script. No, it was not in the script.
The little snail who had seen it all (in a metaphorical sort of way, because snails do not have organs that allow them to process what we humans sense as visible light) turned and trundled away. Before long, he had traversed the blazing tundra of Greenland and of Pismo Beach.
Meanwhile, there was love.
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In the meantime, there was love.
Love such as this could not be understood by mere humans. Romeo and Juliet were pikers in comparison to this love. For this love was in a state of no entropy. And what is "no entropy"? Imagine a checkerboard. On each square of the checkerboard rests a white square and all these white squares are locked into position, pushed hard against one another. The white squares cannot move. How much information can be stored in such a situation? No information can be stored for nothing can be altered. This is a state of no entropy.
So this forementioned love was just like that... only the checkerboard was curved on the inverse of infinity, such that after a really long time (or distance), the checkerboard would meet itself and thus, having no end, become infinite. Not that it would be so very big; for infinite simply means "without end". A ball is infinite in that its surface has no end. However, its surface has a finite value. About $7.99 without tax.
This was love.
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And God repented Himself and stretched forth His Finger; with a touch, He brought her out of her state. Not only was her state undefined, it also had not been written in the annals of time. Normally, God was not allowed to intervene, but He had repented Himself.
Slowly yet surely, she came back to life or awoke, questioning as to the reality of her experience. She came to realize that Someone was kneeling by her side, and that Someone reached to lever her up from the ground. Questions gently yet firmly assailed her and yet she kept her composure. It was blindingly obvious to her who this Someone was. She was at once honored and dumbfounded.
Then, as if in a dream, there was a white and delightsome tree adorned with golden fruit. It stood near them, still and resplendent. Since Mohammed did not come to the mountain, the tree had come to them. With sunbeams playing among the swaying branches, she reached forth and took of the fruit. As she did this, He took hold of her outstretched hand in His.
This was love.
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Never again would it be as it was in olden times. All things had become new. There were new laws in effect. No longer was time money. Time had become once again that facet of space that invoked the event of time dilation. And love now became a recognized element on the Periodic Table; three protons as the nucleus with three electrons in the first orbit.
It was the best of times as rainbows skimmed the seas and lakes and enlivened every drop of water. Space was not empty; it truly resonated with life. Life never-ending pervaded all existence.
This all they saw as they lay in warm, cool grasses beneath the tree and pondered the skies, partaking of the fruit; now the fruit that was not forbidden. The fruit overflowing with moisture and sweetness beyond measure was no longer presented and then prohibited; such nonsense that had been. Now and forever after now, the fruit simply was. And, as it should have been all the while, free.
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And now, the sun itself, in its roiling convection, poured forth an abundance of its forces. The day had come that all its hydrogen had been fused into helium. It was a great and awful day. It had come too early… about seven in the morning (eight, Central Time; not valid where prohibited). Thus those who would have beat the tambourine and sang halleluiahs were caught with their pants down. So mankind suffered its greatest embarrassment: annihilation in underwear.
The young lady wrapped securely within the arms of the Loving God knew not of these developments; for the Two were not in that select spot of time. However, for trillions of others it was undeniably the end of the world. For what is time? Does time truly separate us, one from another? What is so special about this moment wherein the unknown future changes into the immutable past? Is there a now?
In the meantime, in the same time, without time, or within time; she gazed quietly into His Eyes as He gazed into hers. Hands holding Hands and Hands holding hands. Surely, this was love.
Or, at least, a great lack of heartburn.
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Foul wretches issued forth from deep within the bowels of Hell. They got through Customs and began to wander the streets. It mattered not, for the streets were empty. The humans had been evicted… again. All of nature breathed a sigh of relief after the cleansing by the Great Spirit of Mother Nature. After all, it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.
Dolphins and other brother cetaceans cruised the great oceans in song, praising… simply praising. Birds twittered for their own enjoyment. Flowers sprang up into full beauty as they were wont to do, regardless of the lack of an audience.

Answer 4

did you remember to wish your moon slugs a happy 300008? do so now, its unlucky not to!

Answer 5

I eat cheese with chocolate and i love the taste.

Answer 6

pickles make the world go round ah ah ah ah eh ha ah ah ah he ha. pickles taste good, with, with salt, mmm with salt.

Answer 7

Diddi dide lo<

Answer 8

Tom Bosley

Answer 9

so I was walking down the street and this busta came outta nowhere

Answer 10

chaca chaca(mexican slang for sex)

Answer 11

I HAVE FLYING TOAST....yea...be jealous.