I married her after I found out she was pregnant with our son. Now that my son is here I do everything to care for him but we never see eye to eye. My son is now 4 months and I feel so distant I do not know what to do.
2007-12-31 16:12:23 · 17 answers · asked by originasal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marrying someone because they're pregnant with your child is rarely a recipe for success.
If you want to make it work, then you need to find some sort of counseling and, I'd suggest, parenting program. If you decide to stay together, you need to come to an agreement on parenting style. Otherwise, your son is going to learn to manipulate you both before he's 2 years old. It's not fun for the parents and it doesn't give your son the sense of security he'll need.
When you have a young child, a baby, it's really stressful, and there aren't too many people who are happy when they aren't sleeping enough, working too much, trying to make ends meet, and raise a newborn. You're probably more numb than distant...or you could be both.
If the two of you want to make it work, then you'll need to put some time and effort into it. You both have to want to make it work or there's little chance it will.
2007-12-31 16:21:57 · answer #1 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know that sucks.iam almost in the same situation ,don't let it happen to you if you are unhappy let it go . it will not mean u don;t care about your son! it just means u want to be happy! and if you happiness is not with baby moma go find it !
please find it !be happy you will see life different
2007-12-31 16:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by gisela50cent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling might be a good idea emotionally and financially ..you should be aware of all the repercussions divorce entails from alimoney to child support and other financial expenses .perhaps if you weigh the good and bad you might come to another conclusion other than divorce .take it slow and dont get into heated arguments or fights ...better step out of the house and let things cool down a bit
2007-12-31 16:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by greengrass44444 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you do everything to care for him. What about her. Do you do anything for her. Why did you marry her only to leave her when your son was born. Sounds a bit selfish to me. Get your act together get counseling.Marriage is forever through thick or thin. Not just because shes pregnant. How limp. GET HELP and save your marriage. Don't you love her
2007-12-31 16:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by Grammy(back on) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2007-12-31 16:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously you have not been with her long enough to figure out if this will work...The first year, sometime 2 is the time you need to learn to live together...Its hard to learn to deal with the others weird things or just being together...She just had the baby and it will take time to adjust to that to, for you to...You two need to sit down and talk, go out on a date, learn to communicate and compromise...I wouldn't give up just yet, if you can find someone to mediate, a third party not related or know you personally who can help you two figure out whats going on here, it may help...
2007-12-31 16:32:02 · answer #6 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel several of the posters here assumed a lot of things. You said you wanted to divorce your wife, not abandon your son. I'm not sure where the other posters got that. The truth is you can still be there for your son even if you and your wife divorce. My dad abandoned me and my mom, however, several of my friend's parents divorced and they have an awesome relationship with their dad.
1. If you divorce soon, you're son will be too young to remember it, so if life has always been like that for him, he'll never know the difference. If you wait and divorce when he's in school, he may have a more difficult time adjusting.
2. You may even be a BETTER FATHER if you are divorced. If you're not happy in life it may come out while your raising your son. If you are happy in life you may be a more positive force in his life. Positive people perform better than ones who are miserable.
2007-12-31 16:27:11 · answer #7 · answered by Johnny on the Spot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yuck, crappy situation. Babies really reek havoc on relationships. Things get much better when the child is two. The worst years of my marriage were when my children were babies. Horrible time, very difficult.
2007-12-31 16:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by Heidi62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try marriage counseling... set her down and tell her you feel. if you both as adults can't come to an agreement, go with your gut. if you want out, than get out. be sure that is what you want first. good luck!! best wishes!!
2007-12-31 16:19:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try harder that baby needs you and not that you stay for the baby but a marriage is not something that you take lightly how hard have you tried thought about conseling
2007-12-31 16:17:43 · answer #10 · answered by atbkkj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋