I'm not going to spend so much time pleasing my husband who treats me like I'm invisible. What kinds of things can I do to be a little more selfish, yet not wasteful of time and resources or that becomes overtly time consuming?
Don't say "take a bath" because that's not even selfish...that's self-care. A cup of hot tea is also not selfish, it's a beverage, humans need hydration.
2007-12-31 12:57:52 · 13 answers · asked by Xanadu 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have 3 kids too. He treats them invisible too.
2007-12-31 12:58:43 · update #1
I've been so consumed with him, I don't even know what to do with time if I took it!
2007-12-31 13:09:17 · update #2
My suggestion would be to do the things that you and the kids want to do. Make yourself happy. All the things that you didn't do or put aside to please him and make him happy or because you wanted to do it for the family. Just go out and do it. Have fun and don't let yourself get caught up in worring about everyone else. I have start doing the same thing. No matter what I say or how I feel about something my husband will do what he wants regardless. So instead of having him in the center of my world I have made sure that I will do things that I set aside because I want to make him happy. If he will do that for himself then I need to do the same. I love him but my world dosen't need to be all about him. Hope this helps.
2007-12-31 13:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
woo! is right on target with her answer.. just do for your self and children..
2007-12-31 21:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by vis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i were you than i would start making plans for me and my 3 children. go and do things with your kids... movies,park,etc... ask your kids what they would like to do and do that. each child gets to make a choice and spend your time with them. if your husband treats you and your children like that, than just leave him out...... also get aquainted with your childrens friends and do things with their families... good luck!! best wishes!!
2007-12-31 21:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
xanada,Good for you ! Sorry I can not help cause even though I am a man I have been in the same place with my xwife ! Just wanted to give you praise !
2007-12-31 21:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Examine your life. Are you happy? Are your children happy? Would leaving your husband make you and your children happy in the long run? Even if you don't plan on divorcing him soon, start your new life..... Get the training you need for supporting yourself and your children. Start putting away money. Research all the accounts you and your husband have together or separately. Get information on his retirement accounts. Be ready to make your move when the time comes.
2007-12-31 21:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by HiddenBarb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can tell you what it is that you should do to take time for yourself. I am currently a non-working wife, and feel that I lost some of my own identity.
I took cooking classes once a week for a month and really enjoyed that. I also like to go out to dinner with my single friends. Try to remember what you enjoyed before marriage and kids. Maybe exercise, a book club, or taking a class.
2007-12-31 21:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by Judy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the middle of a divorce and I decided the same thing. I splurged $130 on my hair when I have never spent more than $12 before. I also got a facial, the 2nd in my life. I feel so much better now. lol
2007-12-31 21:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I do is take the kids to a movie, out for an ice cream cone, or we go to the park...do things that the kids and I enjoy doing.
When I want "me" time, I will go to the mall and buy myself something that I really want or go to the library and find a good book and a corner to read in for a couple of hours.
2007-12-31 21:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Sweet♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, with three children, you aren't going to have time to be selfish, especially if he's treating them as if they are invisible. I know it sounds nice, but the reality of it all makes it sort of impossible. I'm a mother of 5 and finding "me" time is easier said than done. If you want to put the shoe on the other foot, then do so. Treat him exactly as he treats you and the children. This of course, will have you feeling as though you are a single mother, but from what you described, it won't be much of a change. The difference with this line of thinking is that you don't even acknowledge him. Don't include him, don't do his laundry, eat without him, etc. When things aren't done the way they use to be, he'll notice alright and when that happens, then simply say "now you know how it feels...and you are either in this as my partner, or you know where the door is, because I think I've shown I can do this without you".
And somewhere in between, maybe when the kids are at school, go shopping. Buy yourself something nice, get your hair done different, meet up with some girlfriends for martini's in the afternoon. I know it's not much, but being a mom, you have to take the time when you can.
I wish you luck and some inner peace.
2007-12-31 21:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your kids are young enough start turning them against him.
Be careful. If you don't do a good job they'll turn on you when they figure out you were feeding them BS. At least that's what happened when my kids got old enough to realize what was going on.
Either that or have an affair. Doesn't get more selfish than that.
2007-12-31 21:09:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋