We have been together for 8 years just got married! Married for 6 months. The 8 years we dated I didn't get to know his side of the family( because we never visted his family). We got married met his family and WOW his family is white trash, small town(1000 people) and eat meat and potatoes every night. I am a world traveler and from New york city and I am a very fit person. What was I thinking.... Now that I am in it for the long run.... and not happy with what I am seeing///// he is a total different person ( his morals changed, less motivated and lazy and is getting fat)all his family can talk about is who walked down the street from rail road tracks and how much they saved at the grocery store.
Am I complaining too much? It's sort of suprise to me because when we dated for the first 8 years he was living life with me... we travelled, eat healthy/ exercised,socialized and had same goals and intrests.
Are we too different too last together? Any advice would be great!!!
2007-12-31 12:50:43 · 22 answers · asked by Sara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just don't understand how you date for 8 years and never meet his family. Hubby introduced me to his family soon after we started dating. Now that I think about it though, maybe he did that to see if I could "deal" with his family and talk about disfunction, they take the grand prize!! Lucky for me, hubby may be one of them by birth but is not one of them by choice. Maybe you should have waited for a term marriage, Haha (see post here about term marriages). Good luck.
Mary in Beulah, MI. USA
2007-12-31 13:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by maryannmccarthy2003 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him talk to him and tell him how you feel concerns you have if your love is strong enough then youll be able to get through this.
2007-12-31 23:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by Amy D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound vain. What is so wrong with small town folk, they seem charming. Don't be scared of the unfamiliar. If you love your husband you wouldn't care about the way his family are. That is where he came from, except it. If you can't take it, then leave.
2007-12-31 22:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Duncan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him dear. There's no one that can help you. Sometimes love is about give and take. Ppl will change and get affected from someone else. Only you can change him. Since you have know him for 8 years ... talk to him. I am sure he is willing to help or explain to you if he loves you.
2007-12-31 22:16:54 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married is a huge adjustment, and it's normal for you to feel like reality just slapped you in the face. Your life has just changed dramatically, and the enormity of it all can be overwhelming. Give yourself and your husband and your marriage time to adjust. Please try to remember that you aren't perfect and without faults either, and neither are your relatives, and he very well may have some second thoughts about you too. This is normal, it happens to everyone, so hang in there. A happy, strong marriage takes lots of work, but it's also lots of joy, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
2007-12-31 22:00:05 · answer #5 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you think too much of yourself and now since you have meet them you are freaking out and looking for things to be wrong with him. You need to think back to the 8 yrs before you met them adn see what it is you really are. and please remember one day you will get your mother thighs no matter how hard you try not too... I sorta feel you are a snotty person sorry I have to go clip coupons now.
2007-12-31 21:32:20 · answer #6 · answered by Clays mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've known him for 8 years and NONE of this was evident before?
I really don't believe it.
But, ok, say all this is true.
You need to have an honest discussion with him and tell him he has been letting himself go and you're disgusted with it,and he needs to shape up.
Then it would also be best if you moved back to NY with him.
2007-12-31 21:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should love him for who HE is, his family shouldn't change how you feel about him.......I eat meat and potatoes all the time and I live in a small town does that make me white trash, if it does then oh well....... If you are a decent person, then sit down and talk to him about the issues that you have. Remember what attracted you to him and fell in love with. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. He isn't cheating or beating on you, so count your blessings, and love him for who he is...................
M-M-M-M..... meat and potatoes......time to cook a pot roast....
2007-12-31 21:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by peacefrogzs 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you can either adapt your standards or not.
If you do not, then you and he will have nothing but bitterness because you will be always bitter against him.
Does he deserve your bitterness for something he can't help?
2007-12-31 21:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but this story just doesn't ring true.
2007-12-31 21:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by wooman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋