My boyfriend of 6 months just confessed to me that he was still with his ex-girlfriend when we met, and continued to date her after me and him started dating.
He said that he didn't expect us to really get serious, so he didn't feel the need to tell me at first. he said that only after he started having deep feelings for me, that he really wanted to be honest and tell me about this other relationship, so that we can get off to a fresh start, and build a more solid relationship.
I was heart broken for a few days, but I eventually forgave him, because he told me that he would no longer see the other lady.
for some reason I feel kinda stupid for letting him off the hook so easy...do you think I should believe him that he will be honest from now on ? should I believe that the other relationship is over ? I dont know the lady, so it would be impossible for me to know...should I trust him ?
2007-12-31 12:10:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow....this is really tough. i think it says a lot for him that he came clean about it though. however, do you think he broke off the other relationship because of his feelings for you, or do you think the other woman ended it because she found out about you??? i think that would be a huge deciding factor for me. i don't think you have anything to feel stupid about but you are right for wanting to question things. sometimes we want so badly to be loved by someone else, we forget to love ourselves first..... i know this is easier said than done, but go with your gut on this one.....only you know the relationship the two of you share....do what feels right and if you decide to stay, always keep your eyes and ears open at least until you feel you can fully trust him again........good luck hun.
2007-12-31 12:18:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah, you should really sit down and think about it, maybe think about, why you like him, how much does he mean to you,. but don't push yourself to confuse, yourself into always having the gut feeling of not trusting him. if you have that feeling of never really forgiving him then, the relationship will slowly die. in relationships it's mostly about forgetting and forgiving, then move on.
2016-05-28 07:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you think he was dating you exclusively from the very first date? I think that most people overlap relationships if the current one is not really very serious. I was dating 2 other women when I started dating my wife. I quickly realized how great she was and dropped the other 2. She was engaged when we started dating. (We just went out, at first, just as old college buddies so she wasn't cheating at first.) She broke up with him after we dated 4 weeks. I really don't think you needed to forgive him for anything. He did tell you. That's what is important. Communication and trust are most important in any relationship.
2007-12-31 12:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl. Every woman goes through this problem of forgiving a man and then feeling stupid. If forgiving him is what you want to do let it go. You have to trust him if you are going to be together. He is obviously a pretty decent man if his conscious made him tell you about her. So he is honest. Kinda. So just talk to him and let him know "No more secrets" and then you should be fine.
2007-12-31 12:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by Landry 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as "starting over." As much as you want there to be. That is impossible. Starting over would mean completely erasing that from your memory. How could you erase that from your memory? Can't be done without some type of amnesia.
You could take him back, but the question is... will you ever trust him again? You would probably tell yourself that you will, but I am sure that you'll also be worrying about it constantly.
It is best to part ways and move on. Six months is too long to be "the other girl." Move on and find someone else.
2007-12-31 12:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by "Speedy" 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The problem with him wanting to have a fresh start, was that you were honest with him from the beginning. That WAS your fresh start, and he ruined it. What if he meets someone else? He will start seeing her and keep seeing you, then if he really likes her, he will dump you for her. But if he doesn't, neither of you will ever know about the other. Be smarter than this. Dump his butt, and stop being a fool.
2007-12-31 12:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never, ever, ever trust him---I have guests---but I had to answer this...
You will do nothing, but be cheated on, lied to, and mistreated...
I do not have time...e-mail me---please. Allie
2007-12-31 12:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by allie b 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he had a right to date other people when you first met - there really wasn't a commitment there on either of your parts - he made his choice, and now that he is sure he wants a future with you, he let you know - nothing wrong with that.
It would be silly of you to hold a grudge or be angry with him or hurt any longer than you were...especially if you want a future with him too.
It's time for the two of you to focus on just the two of you.
2007-12-31 12:17:01 · answer #8 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Forgive - Yes
Forget - No
Check his call history, and txt messages on his cell phone.
Since he did not leave her until after things were going good with you, you have to ask yourself a few questions.
1) Would he have broken up with her if he had not met you?
2) How long were they a couple?
3)What was the final reason he left her? – Was it you?
Does he get jealous of other guys around you? If so that is a clue. My xgf was a bit possessive. She was jealous when the wife of a retired friend of mine invited us out to lunch. She acted as if this lady was trying to pick up on me in front of her. I laughed it off and explained the invite was for the both of us. I had not seen this friend and his wife in several months and lunch was just a way to catch up on things.
At the time a friend of mine was going through a divorce. He would txt/call her. I thought it would be good for him to have a woman’s opinion from time to time.
I was foolish enough to trust them both; she was dating him for a few weeks before she sent me an email letting me know. Neither of them has had the courage to look me in the eye.
So this may be his way of doing things. A person who develops a new relationship before making a clean break with the present one may have some personality flaws.
Watch out for yourself. Keep a closer eye on him.
2007-12-31 12:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by Light Knight 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
ditch his sorry ***.... im sorry darlin but he is a player.
2007-12-31 12:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋