How do i show my ex that i am over him?

Question

My husband probably probably thinks i am crazy because i pratically begged him back 2 weeks ago. After we started sleeping together again he says we can be friends with benifits we will be the best divorced people. I hate this for our 2 yr old and my 7 yr old and of course want him to come home and don't want a divorce but at the same time i want to show him i'm fine without him. I have called alot this week for him to see his daughter plus i miss him but i want to show him even though i would take him back i want to show him i'm fine without him. I think not calling won't be enough because in his proud(hispanic male) mind he will think i not calling but miss him. I need to do something drastic so he will believe i don't care anymore but i don't want to compromise my values or integrity. He is a successful person and i think he sees me as week and crazy by somethings i have done lately and in order to respect me i have to stop and turn the tables any ideas??

i want to do this so he can have some respect for me i hope someone knows what i mean? He is 35 and i'm 30 he really just doesn't understand that i love him but calling and all probably does make me look bad to him. He is very goal oriented and to him this is probably all nonsense the way i'm acting he even asked me if i was still going to my conselor?! I hope soemone can give me ideas that will shock him how i just turned off my love like a light switch the way he did please help.

This is my new yrs resolution

Answer 1

Face him straight in the eyes,and tell him "you suck" !

Answer 2

Forget he exists. Until then, your not over him.

Answer 3

you are not over him yet, that's for sure. no matter how much you will try, your actions will still be different from your words. if you REALLY want to let go of him, you have to avoid him while he is with your children. don't flaunt yourself when he is around or insist that he spends time with the kids when actually it is you who wants to be with him. if you really want to let go of him because you are over him, then AVOID him when he is around and don't insist on something...even when it concerns your kids. you see, if he is a responsible dad, you need not insist. he will insist on his rights as a dad. if he still cares about you, seeing the kids is a best reason to see you.

Answer 4

don't measure your success and happiness using him as a measuring stick don't belittle yourself like that. don't force him to come back and walk all over. you can never take a man where he doesn't want to go you will regret it just be content with what you have and what you have lost

Answer 5

In order to show him that you are over him honey, you actually have to be over him. And it's clear that you aren't. But it's okay. You loved this man, you married him and have his children, there will always be some tie that binds the two of you. It just doesn't have to be a sexual bond. I actually like your New Year's Resolution, by turning the tables and not giving in to him, you are on the road to respecting yourself enough to know that you deserve better. To further help with that, I would stop with the phone calls unless they are regarding the children and visitation. It'll be hard at first, but you can do it. And who knows, you may just find it easier and easier to say no to him. By then, he'll be getting the hint that you are moving on.

Just make sure that this is what you really want honey, and aren't doing this to make him jealous. You'll only end up hurting yourself in the long run. You can't fool your heart.

Answer 6

Okay, you do not need to show him you are over him, you need to prove it to yourself first. You began talking about how you miss him and want him around but then said you wanted to prove you didn't need him. Just leave him alone. Friends with benefits is not a way you want your husband looking at your relationship. You and your children deserve better than that. If he wants to see his children, he will and if he wanted to stay with you, he would ( Hispanic male or not) . Want to do something drastic, divorce him if you have not already.

Answer 7

The best way to show him you are over him is to get over him. involve yourself in so much stuff that you sleep through the phone ringing when he calls in the middle of the night. Take your key back if he has it and when he calls tell him that he can't come over cause you have company. Also nothing will make you feel better than getting back out there and rediscovering yourself and how beautiful you are. That alone will boost your self esteem, that before you know it you will be over him. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

goodgriefwoman. this is the worst case of confusion I've ever seen. you're have a troubled marriage, are thinking of getting divorced and he wants to be divorced with sex privileges. Stop trying so hard to convince him that you'll be fine without him. Divorce is difficult, doubly so for the kids. don't worry about appearing to be weak. if you think your marriage is worth saving, you both need to see a counselor and work on it.

if he's as macho as you say, he may already have another woman, which makes it more difficult but not impossible. if he won't go with you to see the counselor, go alone and get your head screwed on so you make the best possible decisions for yourself and your kids.

Answer 9

Wow, he'll have sex with you, but not live in the same house with you? What a loser. He knows you're a sure thing. Is that how you want to be treated as, a sure thing?

Be happy. It's the ultimate revenge! Stay out of his life, allow him to see his children, and don't have sex with him under any circumstance.

Answer 10

you know you could just get a boyfriend and ask your ex for a date??

Answer 11

you have to let him miss you. by not calling him. i have a funny feeling hes very young, and wants to test other waters. he will be back if you just hold on and make him miss you, and, he will realize he needs you.