My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 15/16 and now we are 23/24. We've been living together like a married couple and I feel it's time to make it legal. He does not see a logical reason to get married. I can't seem to come up with one. We don't need to be married in order to know that we love each other, and we get along great. We budget our money, do fun things, have friends, work, share housework and other duties...the only thing missing is kids. I think we both want to adopt later on when we are more financially stable instead of having our own, if any kids at all. We are totally fine with just spending the rest of our lives with each other. I just want it in writing and he's resisting. Can anyone give me valid, logical reasons to get married? Any help is greatly appreciated.
2007-12-31 11:47:58 · 16 answers · asked by Abby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
visit any site that is pro-gay marriage and you will have dozens of reasons why you need to be married.
Most of them are legal protections.
In the event that one of you becomes incapacitated and needs someone to make medical decisions for you, that job will pass over to your parents or siblings or some other blood relation who is mentally competent to make the decisions. you can bypass this by having a living will that names each other as your person to make your decisions.
In the event that one of you dies without a will, if you are married the spouse will automatically inherit from the estate. Otherwise his money and property goes to his legal next of kin (children, parents, siblings, etc.). Your joint accounts won't be frozen while his estate is settled (this is why you name a beneficiary of the account and grant the other name on the account survivor's rights). Any bank accounts you have in your or he has in his name only will also be frozen until his estate is sorted out--as a spouse, you would have access to those accounts immediately.
If either of you has any pensions or retirement accounts, then as a spouse you would have survivor's rights to those accounts. You would be eligeble for widow's/widower's benefits from the government if you were a spouse.
find out what rights and benefits marriage protects and then if you decide not to marry but that you will be with him for the long haul, then go to a lawyer to protect those rights and benefits for yourself.
2007-12-31 12:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IFit is just another piece of paper, then why is he so AFRAID to get it? Yup, he's waiting for some one better. Granted there are few exceptions to the rule but 99% of the time, they don't want to be committed to the person they are living with because they want to be able to move on without any real problems. When you live with some one, it's not a real marriage. You are only playing house. As for the common law marriages, there are very few states that still have that and more are getting rid of them quickly. I lived with a guy and he didn't want to get married. One day he told my mom (of all people) that I was his private ho!!! NEVER again did I ever put myself in that position. If he said this to my mom, I can only imagine what he would call me to others.
2007-12-31 14:29:56 · answer #2 · answered by califdreamer_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your current relationship if one of you died suddenly and without a will, the partner would not have a right to the dead partner's assets (including any life insurance policies unless specified). Also one of you can claim the other as a dependent on your taxes. Also, a spouse is eligible for medical benefits (or whatnot) from the other's job. But the most important part is that you get to have a BIG party with all your friends and I'm sure they would LOVE to see yall get married.
Before we married my husband and I lived together for five years. We'd dated for four years before that, so we knew each other pretty well. I was the one holding us back. My husband (then boyfriend) said, 'I want to marry you; let me know when you are ready.' A couple of years later I was ready (I'm a little slow...I couldn't even spell commitment for a long time)
Being married is different. It didn't feel so at first but it definitely took our love to a different level. That sounds so cheesy; but there really is something different about knowing that you have a rock solid commitment to someone who will put up w/ you through thick and thin. It doesn't mean that we don't disagree over things. We're not suddenly super-human. But we do look out for each other more. Besides we got to have a rocking fun party with all our friends to celebrate. I could definitely go for another wedding reception even after 15 yrs of marriage!
2007-12-31 12:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by krinkn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage for me means that am worthy enough for him to honor me and make a commitment to me and that he love me enough and trust me enough to share, build and grow old with me and that's the reason why i would choose marriage over live in girlfriend anytime of the day good luck
2007-12-31 12:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by MEETOO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way-I'm not really interested in marriage but there are rights that married couples have that cohabiting couples don't. These include:
Next of kin rights (when someone is in hospital, dies, ec This is REALLY important to me because my parents are religious and me and by SO are not)
Tax write offs
Child custody rights
Certain financial obligations become shared-credit scores, bills, ect.
Depending on which state you live in, community poroperty applies (meaning that if you ever buy a house together, you both own it. Same thing for all property).
2007-12-31 11:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Logical reasons? Raising children who all share the same surname is a good reason.
Tax wise, married get better benefits. Insurance is usually cheaper for married couples.
If he thinks though that he's off the hook financially just because you aren't legally married, he'll get a rude awakening if you two split up! Many states still have common law marriage on the books. My state does.
If you're together in old age, and one of you die, the other will not be eligible for social security widow/widower benefits. That could suck for the survivor, financially.
There are valid reasons to get married, but the real reason is the desire to share the same name and proclaim you're married. Be happy.
2007-12-31 11:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because if something happens to either of you, the family has every right to swoop down like vultures and take the deceased ones posessions.
You will have no right whatsoever to anything, including the funeral arrangements, because you are not his/her spouse.
If he/she would own the house you live in and die, the other is out on the street....BIG TIME!
The Rat
2007-12-31 11:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't for everyone. It's a matter of choice. If you're both comfortable with things as they are then just leave it that way. There are of course pros and cons, I mean things like tax considerations and then adoption issues may arise for the non married couple (or they may not), but as long as you're aware of all these things, minor things perhaps, then all is okay. Maybe there 'is not' a logical reason for you to get married. Maybe it's quite logical to do as you've been doing all along.
2007-12-31 11:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not the same. I have lived with people and I have been married. There is a big difference. Living together you know you can walk out at any time. When you are married you made a commitment until death do you part and that means a lot! I don't recommend getting married until you are at least 30 years old. You get married because you want to be with that person until death, in good times and bad, you are together forever!
2007-12-31 11:53:46 · answer #9 · answered by Dance 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure! When you do have kids, you will all have the same last name.
2007-12-31 11:52:37 · answer #10 · answered by K M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋