my husband bought a gun even though he promised me he wasnt going to, i ve tried everything but he says he wants it for protection but i dont want a gun in my house help!!!!!!!!
2007-12-31 11:32:32 · 20 answers · asked by pinky3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My dad asked me to answer this for him (without any help from him).
If your husband promised then he broke his promise and that is a concern completely seperate from the "gun issue".
On the gun issue, I can understand your fear of guns but that "fear" is irrational. I know I will probably get slammed for this but having a gun in your home is safer that driving a car. Let me tell you what happened to my family.
We have several guns in our home, my dad has made sure that all of us, including my mom, are "Gun Safe" which means we know how to be safe around guns.
In October 2005, we were watching TV and our door bell rang, my little sister opened up the front door (she was expecting her friend to arrive) and two men pushed their way in and grabbed my little sister, holding a knife near her throat. They told us to stay on the couch and nobody would get hurt...then they said maybe nobody would get hurt while one man was looking at my mom and rubbing his crotch. My dad told them that he had some cash in his bedroom drawer and to just take it and leave and to please not hurt anybody. The men both went into the bedroom and got the cash and when they came out, my dad had his 357 magnum pointing at them (my dad always kept a gun tucked in a special pocket in his recliner chair). He ordered them on the carpet and my mom called police and they were arrested.
I'm sooooo glad my dad had a gun, my mom, sister and I could have been raped or killed if he didn't.
When you learn that a gun is just a safety tool (if you learn how to respect and use it properly), you'll sleep better just knowing that you have it.
Your husband wants to protect his family from situations like the one my family went through. He shouldn't have promised but I think his motives are based on his fear of someone trying to hurt his family.
Christine
2007-12-31 13:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are two separate issues and you cannot make clear decisions about either right now. First, husband sorta sounds like a jerk and well the fact that you stayed with him for 8 years and had kids with him shows that you wanted it to work. You somewhat forgave to coexist, but you sound very resentful and probably never forgot the other women. So now he is father of the year, you have no problem giving him a taste of the cheating wife bitter pill that we all agree he deserves. But can you live with yourself? Can your marriage survive? Should you even be married? These are serious decisions that have nothing to do with the new MR. WONDERFUL!!! Second, new boyfriend. Any guy at 12 weeks is always MR> WONDERFUL. It is infatuation, new person haze, fantasyland schoolgirl type crush, or just your night and shining armor to save you from your dire situation. You have terrible clarity to make a decision about this relationship and probably any man would look better than your husband. Take a break from this relationship, NOW!!!!! if it is supposed to happen, it will when you have filed for divoce, moved out and have a more stable life. You are a wounded animal and he is a hungry lion, he sees desparate, deprived, sad and lonely....all for the killing. No man in his right mind would be after a married women with kids at 3 mere months unless it was for sex...let's be honest. Who is warming up his bed tonight? You said it is not you. Either his skin-imax bill is either huge or his banging somone else honey....that is reality. If you are in a marriage where you do not feel love, your husband cannot make you fall back in love. You have to reengage yourself in the relationship. I call it fake it till you can do it again. There are times when love shrinks and times when it grows. Finding love will take a lot of work on your and your husbands part, but you have a huge distraction right now. Let's be honest, your history of men doesn't sound like it has been stellar the past 10 years or so, you have not talked to your husband, and you are not in a place to have a healthy and balanced relationship with so much baggage. Step #1 Work on you Step #2 Figure out Marriage Step #3 Make a new life or make your life new Step #4 Find new love or rekindle the old love #4 should NEVER EVER NEVER happen before #1-2 or 3.
2016-05-28 07:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guns do not hurt people, people hurt people.
2007-12-31 12:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Duncan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you upset....he wants to be sure he can protect his family if the need arises.
If it's so upsetting to you, have him buy a safe so he can lock the gun in there.
I believe everyone should own a gun. Give me all the thumbs-downs you want, I don't care. I believe if any thug in the streets can buy a gun out of the trunk of some guys car, we good citizens should be ready to protect ourselves from them.
2007-12-31 12:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are educated on using it properly, then it won't become this horrific nightmare.
Go to a shooting range. Learn to handle it. Learn how to use it effectively. Then learn how to clean it.
You can always purchase a trigger lock for it, as well as putting it in a locked safe. Put the keys someplace where the kids will never find them.
Guns are not as scary as perceived. Try it out at the gun range before you make your decision.
2007-12-31 12:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife felt the way you do. I took her to an NRA introduction to gun safety class. She is very comfortable with guns now and even enjoys going shooting at the ranges with me. The class teaches you gun safety, gun handling, how guns work, kinds of guns, and teaches you how to shoot them. The fee is very reasonable and includes their guns (if you don't have one of your own) and ammunition. Check them out at a local shooting range
2007-12-31 12:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie its your decision but having a gun is not a bad idea. My guess is you dont want it because your scared of it. Have your husband show you how to use it so you can get familiar with it. Just always keep it in a safe place and out of reach of kids, obviously.
2007-12-31 11:59:45 · answer #7 · answered by southerngirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
protection from who? you? i hope i don't hear one of those stories where some one accidentally shot his spouse while he was sleeping
tell him to get rid of the gun and invests in home security system or something maybe a military guard dog what ever but not a gun
2007-12-31 11:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by MEETOO 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Meet eachother half way I guess. My husband wants one and I feel the same as you. Sometimes men feel a need to have a gun. If your really bothered by it and he won't respect you, then mess with him...tell him 'hey, you think your a man just because you have a gun?? try doing without one!'
If there are kids envolved, just make sure they are in a safe place for the time being.
Don't know what else to tell you.
2007-12-31 11:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by mrs.nikita_ramirez 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a big decision and if he can't respect how you feel then there is an even bigger problem.
Also, if you still feel safe with him and trust him with it, then maybe you should see about taking shooting lessons or getting a license of your own.
Compromise means sooo much in a marriage.
2007-12-31 11:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by mahdiya 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋