To be thinking about marriage?
We have been dating for 2 years, I am 26 this year and he is 29. We live together as well.
Should I be telling him that I want to get married in the next 2-3 years.... or should I just sit around and wait forever for him to ask me?
Same deal with children. I am not getting any younger. Should I tell him I want kids soon or do I just grow old and barren?
2007-12-31 11:18:43 · 23 answers · asked by He moonwalked on my <3 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My boyfriend is very big on the idea of marriage and children... however he is even bigger on the idea of wating 5 years before engagement.
this concerms be cos i will be pushing 30 by then and ddont want to start a family too late.... i still want to be in my 20s when i start having kids.
2007-12-31 11:28:00 · update #1
Well, tell him how you feel. You have to be honest because let me tell you, 5 years is a bit long to me. I can't wait 5 years because that is too long. You all live together, you get along, tell him how you feel. Maybe he feels the same way.
2007-12-31 12:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by rashida_16 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two should have an open discussion about all of the issues. If you don't and he doesn't make a move when you feel he should, you will resent him. Let him know your desires and your reasons for the timelines. I think it is fair.
2007-12-31 21:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by Mo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, it's not too soon. You guys should really already be talking about this. If you don't get your preferences on the table now, you're marriage will be horrid.
If you love him, and he loves you, you should be able to chat about this, even causally. I hear the kids thing - but you're not going to be barren if you don't have kids on 3 years. I'm 30 and just started.
2007-12-31 19:50:34 · answer #3 · answered by clivencheese 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is not being able to Honor you because your are giving the milk for free already what ever he needs in a wife it seem like you are already doing it for him so why the heck should he rush for what i can imagine happening is your being pregnant and still being his girlfriend till your kid move out of the house even then he is still not going to marry you anytime soon and oh yeah if you rush him for marriage he will always bring it up in argument and blame you for his failures in life you need to think twice about your future and make the best decision for you and no one else
2007-12-31 19:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by MEETOO 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have made a tactical error by shacking up. Cart before the horse.
"grow old and barren" HA!, that made me laugh, nice choice of words.
If you were Joan of Arc you would pack your things, move out, and invite him to court you properly. If he does, that means he can learn.
Dr Laura knows......
2007-12-31 19:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by who WAS #1? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'd say live it out a couple more years, to see what he's like on the long-term. you don't want to marry someone before taking at least more than 3 years to get to know each other. love doesn't need a lot of time to blossom, but you don't want to be secured into a marriage and then get to know him better.
i'm not sure if you should tell him you want to get married, since he might get a little uncomfortable about you asking him to ask you. i am NOT sure. but definitley bring up something about engagement.
i'm not sure about the kids and stuff....
anyway, listen to people with experience and more age than me, becuase i'm only 13
2007-12-31 19:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's what your hearts say
2007-12-31 19:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with SOME of the other answers above, as to you 'dropping' a few hints about marriage & children, but you should also set aside a date out together when you can approach him about how you feel and what you want in life. He has to realise that you are now part of his life and he part of yours so you both should be able to discuss this topic quite openly.
2007-12-31 19:29:46 · answer #8 · answered by Badass 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's something that you should both talk to each other about. Try and bring it up in a conversation just to see where he stands, and you make it a point to show him where you stand in all of this. I don't think it's too soon at all for you to be thinking about it. Two years of dating is a really great thing, now it's time for you to go to the next step. Good luck!!
2007-12-31 19:26:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 years of dating is the perfect time to start talking about these serious issues. Does he want to have children? What religion (if any) would he like to raise them in? How comfortable is he with debt? (like a mortgage) What are his long term career plans? Does he want to be married someday (even if it isn't with you) or is he still thinking that he may just want to bum around for a while longer? Honest, frank communication is the foundation of a long lasting marriage.
Best of luck to you!
2007-12-31 19:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by krinkn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋