I'm a single parent and i'm really trying to get my life on track but it is so hard when i don't ever sit down. I can't go out as i pay a lot to daycare already, i work ten hour shifts so my kids live there I don't think that would be good anyways as my divorce is not final and i promised my husband i wouldn't cheat as he did me. Anyway i really need some relaxing ideas or me time ideas so i can recharge without feeling like i'm having a breakdown or going crazy. It's the same thing everyday.
2007-12-31 10:45:02 · 10 answers · asked by poo~poo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Manicures, pedicures and massages are great ways to be touched in a nonthreatening, soothing way. Of course, bubble baths are great. Then I'm having a bad time, I like to go buy several trashy gossip magazines and sit reading for a while. I also like to go "shopping" at clothing and shoes stores I couldn't POSSIBLY afford and try on nice clothes and shoes.
Stay strong. This too shall pass.
2007-12-31 10:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a lot of hours of work. Can you check in your area if they have a discount child care program for lower income? They do in my area. That is not going to work long term and you will have little contact with your kids and just not much of a life.
2007-12-31 12:35:19 · answer #2 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you have to work and have kids you will spend the next few years living like a soldier. Duty, Honor, country. Having a "life": job and kids ARE your life. You can't date until your kids are at least teenagers, introducing a new man into the situation would be bad for them.
"Me time": You control the house so therefore you control the time. You have time to play on Yahoo answers, so you HAVE time.
Dr Laura is probably on radio if you live in a city. She has some great books. She advocates raising your kids first, you later. And get that man to pay child support and half the medical insurance.
Why are you promising an ex-husband anything? He's out, although he is still father.
2007-12-31 11:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by who WAS #1? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat you are, fortunately my children are at the age where they would rather hang out with friends anyway. I really hate how some men fight for custody but never manage to have their children overnight, or on the weekends, or any length of time.
To the others that said to quit working so hard and so many hours, god I wish I could but someone has to pay the bills he left me with.
2007-12-31 11:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you involved in church? I don't want to preach .. that's not what I am doing so I hope you keep reading. My husband and I have grown children (our first grandchild is due in April) so we have no kiddos in the house at all. We both love children and want to be around them a lot but it is difficult during the week with our jobs and such. We do the Children's Story at our church and kids just totally flock to my husband. They love me too but he just has a certain "charm" about him that the kids gravitate to. There are several children that go to our church without a father figure and that come from very disadvantaged families. We have tried to make it a point to take a child occasionally on an outing ... out to lunch, the movies, the circus, a football game, basketball game. Something that can be done in an afternoon. We will take them to the dollar store and let them select a few items also. We don't have a lot of money ... but it's the time that they need. It helps them do something different and also give Mom (sometimes even the whole family!) a little free time to take a nap, grocery shop without screaming kids, etc. Everyone wins! I guarantee you, get involved in church (or any community related activity) where you can make some adult friends and you will having people willing to watch your children occasionally. If they have other children they will want "play dates" ... and some day, when you are a little more stress free .. you will be capable and happy to return the favor. Just try it ... you never know what may happen. Good luck to you and I will pray that 2008 will be a wonderful year for you and your family.
2007-12-31 10:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by MiMi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was a single mom of 3 for alot of years so i know how tough it is and i worked 40 hours a week and dear you are working far too many hours, when i add up the time i spent going to the sitters and the rest it add up to it added up to 10 hours a day, are you saying that you are working more than i was i am not saying that in a derogatory manner, i was just trying to see if i could compare my day to yours and i guess i can cause i would have to leave at 1:30 in the afternoon and not get everyone home until 11:30 at night so i know it is tough, you can't do everything, if you can work less hours and thus pay less day care it would help, and try to take a book to the tub with a glass of wine, when the kids are at dad's make sure that you pamper yourself even if that means letting some stuff go and sleeping in or taking a nap in the afternoon on the day your ex has the kids when you area not at work, believe me i know how hard it can be, and sometimes you have to work to relax, stupid huh, i agree
2007-12-31 10:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Dale T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I defiantly think that your soon-to-be ex needs to take more responsibility for his children. Maybe not every weekend - he has to live too. If he lives out of town they still need to visit at least once a month.
In the mean time you need to focus on your kids. I know that you really are stressed and you need to relax, and I suggest you do that as much as you can.. But your kids should be your focus and joy..
Take them to the park, and take a good book. Go to the museum with them, the library.. etc. But unfortunately your kids are the ones who are suffering the most here.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best.
2007-12-31 10:57:23 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must take some down time for yourself even if its just having a Sunday brunch alone or a Friday night happy hour for a few hours-forget the ridiculous promise that you made to your cheating husband and try to pencil in a few hours a week for grown-up time alone or with your girlfriends-you will breakdown if you don't take some time for YOU! Invite a girlfriend over for a few glasses of wine-this way you are home with the kids but when they go to bed you can unwind -Good luck. Happy New Year!
2007-12-31 10:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where you look to friends or family to take the kids once a month or so for a day. You did not say how old they are.
Don't you have shared custody? Child support?
2007-12-31 10:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry.. This is a side effect of the 21st century...
You need a real man that can help you out. Chances are you probably will want to go with a man who is older than you so he has enough maturity to know what you need. Make it your New Years resolution to find yourself a real man!! Trust me, he is out there!! :)
Good Luck!!
2007-12-31 10:48:56 · answer #10 · answered by Tim J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋