I have been in an on and off again realtionship with a guy for 4, going on 5 years now. We met in high school and he took me in when I was homeless. Seems like a nice guy huh? Well when I became pregnant with his child he kicked me out and the night I went into labor I walked myself to the hosptail. When I was being realeased and wondering where I was going to live with a newborn baby, he shows up and takes me in again. The abusive and controlling issues have never ended and its been the same way since day one. I have left before (even moved to another state) but I always go back to him when I become homeless. Now that I have found my father and I live with him I was to fully leave my abuser but I am not sure on how. Could anyone give me advice?
2007-12-31 10:30:17 · 39 answers · asked by emmalynn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all honey you have to consider whats best for you and your baby. Do you really want your child to grow up thinking that this is the way to live? You are your childs first teacher in life. As hard as it is to leave someone when you love them, but you have to choose for you. This guy is just playing games with you that won't stop. If he had the guts to throw out his own child then that should tell you he doesn't care about you or your child. What you need to do is seek out a support group for you to help you see what you need to do. You have to realize that with your child you have to upper hand on him. Let him know that you are done with this relationship and if he doesn't seek out help you will not deal with him. If he starts threaten you, you threaten back with child support. I'll guarantee you he'll think twice. Put your foot down and make your happiness with the best thing that came into your life...your baby. Remember that if you contiune this back and forth game, your child will think its okay to do it later on or to mistreat you. Show him that you can stand strong out there. As far as being homeless there should be programs out there where you live to help you find a place to live now that you have a child. You are not alone. There are many women out there that think they have no choice. But they do. He is living on your fear. Don't give it to him. Stand up for yourself and be strong. Good Luck and God Bless. Live in peace.
2007-12-31 10:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put him totally out of your mind, forget he ever existed, and meet a good man to take care of you and your child. With any luck, your father can keep you long enough for you to get stable, as in a job and a place of your own. That empowers you to have no need of the abuser, ever again. You need to become responsible, and self sufficient, for your child's sake, if not for yours. Good luck!
2007-12-31 10:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a Safe Homes for abused women and go there for a while. Just till you see how he takes it, there you will get the emotional support, and help with jobs until you can be on your own. They will tell you in detail how to be safe. The most dangerous time for a spouse is when they finally leave so follow their lead.
Then, don't go back, ignore his honeymoon promises and don't believe him. And theres always the honeymoon period where he swears he'll never do it again, and they always do.
2007-12-31 10:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go 2 your father's and promptly put an order of protection against the abusive peice of ****!!
Timothy
:o)
2007-12-31 10:35:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your number, stop returning his calls, move and don't tell him, and break all ties. New start and all that! Also, don't always rely on him as a crutch - you're strong, you can cope on your own. I've done it, others have done it, I'm sure you can too.
2007-12-31 10:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way is to just do it. If he abuses you that much, then try to get a restraining order and then he can't go near you or the baby.
2007-12-31 10:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get support from your dad and just leave. if you need to inform the police and get a restraining order. life is to short to not enjoy it.
2007-12-31 10:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by jammer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Off hand I'd say stop becoming homeless. That would be a pretty good start.
2007-12-31 10:34:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left him before, so do it again! He obviously doesn't love you. NO REAL MAN would lay a hand on you and kick you out when he finds out you're having his baby. NO REAL MAN will make you walk yourself to the hospital. If you have left him before then do it again, NOW!!!
2007-12-31 10:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him in a straight forward way that you are leaving him
2007-12-31 10:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋