Recently, I found out that my husband was emailing old girlfriends. I told him what I knew and asked him for a divorce. Suddenly, he tells me I have never been a good friend to him, I was never there for him etc. Even though he tried to save the marriage and he admitted he was wrong, he never stopped indirectly blaming me for his actions. Why couldn't he just say he was sorry and that he was wrong without blaming me also?
2007-12-31 09:44:19 · 51 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You want a divorce over a few emails .... Maggie ... there has to be more that you're not telling us??? ... and that's ok it's none of our business .... but .... to ask for advice and expect an informed answer with so little of the whole picture here is difficult
2007-12-31 09:48:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jack K 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The best means of defence is ATTACK. That is what he is doing.....
2007-12-31 10:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but that's typical behaviour of a lot of people, men especially. they're too immature to accept responsibility for their bad behaviour. diane.
2007-12-31 09:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by diquarry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Maybe" because it was your fault? There is certainly more to this story as it seem just by how you describe it. People, no matter who it is, do not get up one day and start cheating or emailing other people for instance. It's "Why" you go and email and talk to other people that is the issue. That is because you are not getting what you need at home. What I can't stand is when people say ...."It's a two way street and it takes more than one person to break up". This is nonsense, it's because some people have anti-social behaviour, they have addictions, they have depressiona and many times it is only 'One' of those people who are killing the other. So although I cannot say for sure who was at fault. I can safely say it started before the email and to let you know to 'consider' the fact that you possibly just might be the issue as there is not enough information from your question to find out the entire details...
2007-12-31 09:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by Billy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he see's your lack of marital skills as the reason for his contacting previous ex's ... if you was the perfect wife he wouldnt contact them.. silly really .. its as much his fault as your s for a guess
he should really have addressed the issues with you before it got this far
2007-12-31 09:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by ξήĢŁĭŞĦ ŗǾşξ ©® ღஐღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men, like all men, Have to be right. And when they do something wrong, and they know it, they try to reverse blame. Him trying to save the marriage tells me he does love you, but he knows that you are serious about it. So know he is resorting to make you think that you did something wrong, and that you would feel guilty if you went through with the divorce.
2007-12-31 09:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by jeff w 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Likely because he wants to share the blame -- lessen the load of guilt, a very natural reaction, though not at all helpful. It's possible there's a grain of truth to his accusations -- or not! -- but even if there is, justifying one's own bad behavior this way does NOTHING to fix the problems, it's just rationalization of why it was "okay", when he knows deep inside that it's not.
2007-12-31 09:48:40 · answer #7 · answered by Katie W 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because he can't accept responsibility for his actions. He should apologize and work things out with you.
2007-12-31 09:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by Gavin T 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
because he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions and is trying to pin it on you. you did the right thing by kicking this loser to the curb. happy new year!
EDIT: WHOEVER GAVE US ALL THUMBS-DOWN, I CAN TELL YOU ARE ONE SUCH LOSER THAT DOES THIS TO HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER
2007-12-31 09:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ego problems.
2007-12-31 09:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by merrymary09 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋