Would you trust a responsible 12 year old to watch your 5 months old for a few hours?

Question

My husband and I are expecting baby #1 in August. I am happy but convinced this will be the last new year's we get to go out. Our niece will be 12 next year and has taken babysitting classes and taken care of her one older and two younger siblings for a few hours after school this past year. I'm not sure she could handle a 5 month old baby (in january 2009 it will be that old) but my husband is confident she could. What would you think?

Answer 1

Absolutely not, under any circumstances. Even "responsible" twelve year olds panic in emergencies, and make bad decisions even under normal circumstances. That is why teenagers insurance rates are so high - their brains have not finished developing the impulse control and decision making centers.

Answer 2

First, I am very sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine losing a child. I can't speak for every twelve year old on the planet... but I do know that twelve is a difficult age. You're just about to become a teenager. There are new "protocals", new clothes, new conversations, new respect, new problems, new responsibilities... etc. She is probably struggling with these. By all means, don't let your daughter talk or treat you and your other children badly at all. Maybe you should even beef up the consequences of her actions. Is sending her to her room really doing any good? Does she have things in her room like a computer, tv, video games, or whatever. You aren't really punishing her if that's the case. You really didn't do anything at all, but give her space away from you. Perhaps you could try grounding her or something. Is there other things going on in her life? Try leaving it open for her to talk. Let her know that you are there, but don't push. Do you talk about your son a lot? Maybe she feels as if she will never live up to him. It sounds to me like she's either jealous of her younger siblings (maybe even her older one) and she's acting out for attention. I had the same problem when I was about her age. To this day I half wonder if my sister is the favorite. I pulled stunts and was really pretty mean just to get my mom's attention. Now I know it was wrong, but then all I knew was that I wanted my mom's full attention.

Answer 3

I personally wouldn't trust anyone under 14 to watch a baby, but it depends on the child. It would be better to have the 12 year old watch the baby with someone else as a "backup." Seeing as she's had training and experience, however, it may be different. Does she know infant CPR and first aid? I would want a babysitter to know CPR.

The other thing is that there is no reason you can't continue going out once you have a baby. My husband and I went on a day rafting trip this summer and my baby was born in March. You can go out when you have a child, especially if you have family in town, which you obviously do. Don't give up all aspects of your adult life because you have a child.

Answer 4

I wouldnt. I wouldnt trust a 12 year old with a puppy to be honest. I feel they dont have the right judgement in case something were to go wrong. I dont leave my daughter with anyone except my sister in laws or my mom.
I think men are diffrent. My boyfriend wants a teenager to watch our daughter 2. I know neither her nor I are ready for that. I just dont think they get it.
You guys have a long time to think about it. Plus I really dont want to do anything but be with my daughter this new years when a couple new years ago all I wanted to do was to party.

Answer 5

HELL NO! Just my opinion. Im too scared to let adults watch my son. This is a very small baby that will cry ALOT. Imagine how stressful it will be for you to get the baby to stop crying then imagine a 12 year old child trying to deal with that kind of stress. This can be very dangerous. It only takes a few angry shakes to ruin your baby's life forever.

Answer 6

I dont think so. But its up to you and how you think she will be able to handle a baby. A 12 isnt wired to care for a baby. In your gut do you think she would be okay? Try it out, while you go grocery shopping, or while your in the other room. Good luck.

Answer 7

That's going to depend on the baby (and the babysitter of course).

If you end up with a healthy, easygoing baby who just about always sleeps through and you would be going just a very short distance and could be home in five minutes if she needed help, then it's probably going to be OK.

A baby who wakes every thirty minutes screaming with colic, suffers from asthma which often requires urgent medication, and you want to go to a party an hours drive away...no way.

Answer 8

I suggest you have your niece over to the house to help you with the baby a few times before you let her watch the child alone. That way you can tell if she will be able to handle it or not.

Personally I don't see a problem with it - they eat poop cry sleep and want to be held - it isn't that difficult -

Answer 9

It's really a decision you need to make, but I don't think I would feel comfortable leaving my 5 month old with someone so young. Even if she is responsible, she is YOUNG and could get distracted easily, plus she is not mature enough to make responsible decisions in the event of an emergency. Maybe if another adult was present at the house during the time she is watching your baby. Are you going somewhere that you would not be able to bring the baby? You could invest in a sling and wear your baby wherever you are going or maybe find an older relative to watch the baby - aunt/mom/grandma?

Answer 10

If the 12 year old was responisible, and certified in CPR then maybe for an hour or so at the longest (like when the baby is taking a nap). A 12 year old is still a child, and no matter how mature they are, you cant trust them to act like an adult.

I personally will only let an adult watch my 2 1/2 year old daughter.