This is probably the fifth time he has gone to jail in the last 4-5 years. We have three small children and we do not own any property. He treats me nice sometimes, buying me jewelery and handbags. But he is constantly yelling and criticizing me. He keeps me stressed and depressed. I'm tired of the whole thing. In the past there has been physical abuse. He has stopped that, because I have told people about it, but he still threatens the abuse if I don't shut up. I need to get away from him. He has gone to jail and we do not have enough money to cover all the expenses. I am giving up our apartment and will put his things in storage. The guilt comes in when he is released he will not have any home to go to. Should I feel guilty? Should I try to get him someplace to live? Or is it his problem. Also, I will be paying his truck note and car ins while he is away.
2007-12-31 07:55:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are a victim of domestic violence. By being with you in your home, so are your children, who are witnessing this behavior. if you don't stop it, it will not stop.
You can get away, there are many places to help; if you are on line, just look up Domestic Violence, there are nationwide hotlines and help.
Why is he in jail? is it because of something he did? if so, he is homeless because of that, not because of you. He needs to get a place to live. And if you have three children to support, you probably cannot afford to pay his bills too. i am a survivor, and i met a wonderful man who may not be able to give me pretty things all the time, but sometimes he does, the main thing is he treats me well, he never ever abuses me and i know now that there are men out there that will love a single mom with children. But you have to stay alive and get healthy first. You can do it. I promise.
2007-12-31 08:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Christine H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. You owe him Nothing
2007-12-31 11:18:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Walk away. i wouldn't put it in storage, I woulds sell it for the cash yhou need to get by.
2007-12-31 09:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by ballewthebear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
file a restraining order and file for divorce. Move away. file for custody of the children. Leave his things wiht one of his friends or relatives, so you don't have to pay storage.
Do not pay the note on his car or truck, unless you plan to keep them for yourself.
You don't owe him any explanation. Divorce means that you don't have to take resposnibility for him or his life, anymore. Just walk away.
2007-12-31 08:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by limendoz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty. If you don't love him, leave him. Three small children don't need a afther that is constantly yelling at you and them. They need a place to feel safe. It's his problem. He got himself landed in jail in the first place. He should have worried about that before he did whatever he did. I hope everything works out for you. You are in my prayers.
2007-12-31 08:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by O.o 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand by your man.
In this instance, you can do it best by distancing yourself and your kids from him. Not only for your safety, but for your financial solvency. As long as you remain married to him, the marital debt will be yours as well as his. Once that tie is severed you will be in a much better spot to get your family back on track, especially when he gets out and starts contributing from afar.
There is always a reason people go through situations like your husband's. They obviously don't want to do the things they do unless they are pathological. In that case, you should have never married him (hindsight).
Just as one man leaving a wife because her body changed after having his kids is wrong, so is one woman leaving a husband because he is going through a prolonged crisis.
Leave?
Yes, leave.
Leave physically, financially, emotionally. Just don't leave totally.
Leave the door open for a time (if ever it happens) when he will return to the same loving, responsible, and trustworthy person you first said I do to.
2007-12-31 08:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by Silent Gams 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u go girl this guy is a looser and u need a good life for u and the kids no u should not feel guilty he should for putting his wife and kids in this situation no u go girl and good luck wish i could help u with a safe place for u and the kids good luck
2007-12-31 08:06:40 · answer #7 · answered by furface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, why do you need someone that stays in jail, you are already doing everything alone. No you should not feel guilty you did do whatever it was that put him in the slammer. Let him go home to his mom. And you go to a women's shelter or a friend or relatives place until you can get back on your feet. GET COUNSELING, because if you don't when he gets out he will guilt you right back where you are now.
2007-12-31 08:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by Jen B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty. He deserves it!
2007-12-31 07:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't feel guilty.
2007-12-31 07:58:29 · answer #10 · answered by Always Real 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋