ok, only trying to understand something here. We have been married for 10 yrs and have 3 beautiful children. I'm a Soldier and she's an RN. I help a lot around the house. I cook, clean, dishes and laundry, you name it. She has never been much of a house keeper. Even when we were dating. She stacks and plies stuff, and never throws anything away. I was deployed for 16 months, and since my return, I have returned to my normal house hold duites, which I have no probblem doing. During the months of October thru 5th of December I was away from my family to attend school and my wife let the house go to hell. I am currently doing the last load of dirty laundry in the house. Yesterday, she left a pair of dirty pants and underwear at the foot of the bed and asked me if I was too lazy to take them into the laundry room, to which my reply was, no I'm not the lazy one who left them in the middle of the floor. So my question to you ladies is..Was I wrong to say that or is she wrong ?
2007-12-31 07:31:49 · 56 answers · asked by ssgdevon 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The kids help when I ask them to, they are 9,7,and 5. I have taught the kids the importance of putting things away, and in there proper place ;ie cars keys get hung up on the key rack, which is why daddy is never searching the house for them. My typical day has me leaving the house at 5 am and home at 7 pm. she is working nights 7pm to 7am. She works 3 days adn then off for 3 and works 4 days. And when she's sleeping the kids and I go out and let her sleep. Upon my return from Afghanistan, the Mrs and I went on our 2nd Honey moon. I have talked to her about cleaning up. Recently she got upset when I threw a stack of paperwork away. I told her she had 3 weeks to go thru it and decide what she wanted from it. After 3 weeks, I chucked the whole stack. It was full of nothing but junk mail and fliers from P&C, lilian vernon type magazines. I'm not asking for the house to be Immaculate, just picked up , with a little help from her.
2007-12-31 07:57:38 · update #1
God Bless you sir! No you have every right to be angry.You expect a clean home and even if your wife works sounds like you do more than your share.I say you both need to sit down and discuss your expectations and also to let her know a dirty home is not acceptable.So how can we work this out?She p[robally wants a clean home too but it gets overwhelming when you let it go to long.First thing to do is declutter where you can so whats left doesn't overwhelm the space that way it all feels cleaner .Good Luck.And Happy New Year!
2007-12-31 07:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by peppersham 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to kick her to the curb.
2007-12-31 08:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by deano 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, first of all she was like this before you even got married, but you decided to let it go and just do it yourself. that is where you were wrong. now 10 years later it's getting to you? this is the pattern that you set. why after 10 years later you want her, or expect her to do something you didnt before? but you do need to give her time to get used to doing what she was not used to doing. remember you gave her the crutch.
2007-12-31 08:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by mexicanlover1118 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I think it's just hard when both are so busy. I think if she didn't work, it would be so different BUT, as kids get older, things do change. The kids should learn to be more helpful for Mom, it is very hard doing housework, raising kids, AND WORKING!!!! I think she needs a BREAK! Somewhere FUN and carefree, like Las Vegas, with you and her only.
She sounds overwhelmed. I get that way also. I can be so overwhelmed that I really don't realize how non stop I am. She needs a serious week off, with you and her alone TIME! No cooking, cleaning,working, just totally sleep and play.
I think the comment made was made out of frustration, feeling that they do too much or that that need more help. It'd frustration from not having you there all this time, it hurts when your gone but also it's very relaxed also. I don't think either was wrong, I think it was just a simply I am so dang tired of cleaning comment, and need to SLEEP till 12 for a week!!!!
She needs a break, she needs someone to pamper her, allow her to sleep in without a mess to wake up to and no noise while she sleeps. That is just my opinion. I have been married for 20 years, and also have 3 kids, 8, 10, and 13. I often need a break. I am also a nurse. It is a stressful job, one slip up and you can put someones life at risk, and over worked!!!!
I say let it go hunny, let that whole phrase be gone, and offer her a massage in the evening when it's quiet, and your all alone. Offer to take the kids out in the morning on Saturday, to let her relax and sleep in. All she needs is REST!!!!!
The older kids get the more active they become, and the activities in school become exhausting for a Mom. Hang in there, you sound like an incredible man to care! Pamper your sweetheart and rekindle what you all had.
Make her smile and laugh again.
2007-12-31 07:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I agree, she's definitely the lazy one. Does she have issues with depression or anything like that? Sometimes depression causes you to not care about your home and it's upkeep or general cleanliness. If that's not the issue and she's just lazy, you knew this when you married her. Maybe ask her if she would come fold clothes with you or clean the house so you guys can talk while you clean.
2007-12-31 07:36:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not wrong. Try this. Make a list of all the household responsibilities and work with her to DIVIDE THEM UP equally between the two of you. Would she be willing to have a discussion like that? Would she be willing to do her share? If not, then you need counseling big time..
2007-12-31 07:36:41 · answer #6 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, you are - and the only reason why is because for 10 years, you have put up with her ways - and only now are making an issue about it...you can't expect her to change after all this time. You created the monster....
2007-12-31 07:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell her to stop being such a piggly wiggly. you need to let her know that if youre not going to do the housework, no one is, and she can just live in filth if she doesnt appreciate all the work you do! good luck mann.
2007-12-31 07:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you were not wrong! Household work just like everything else in a marriage is both your responsibility and it sounds like you do the majority of everything! Start just doing you and your kids clothes until she can appreciate what you do and at least meet you half way by taking her dirty clothes to the hamper or laundry room.
2007-12-31 07:35:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
its mean but u were only being honest
2007-12-31 07:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by Sweety 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋