ok, i had an argument with my girlfriend this weekend about cursing in front of children. She has three boys 13, 11, 8. I have a 4 year old. My complaint was that sometimes she curses at her children, An example would be telling her 13 year old to shut the f*** up. I understand that the 13 year old has the 13 year old mouth on him, but am I wrong for bringing this topic up. We have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and it is something that really bothers me.
2007-12-31 07:05:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just so everyone knows, I don't curse :-). Her kinds often joke that they never hear me say a bad word. Some of the post below seem to think I curse too. Wrong.
2007-12-31 07:13:34 · update #1
No, it's not wrong for you to bring it up. A potty mouth is a potty mouth. Foul language should be discouraged, especially in front of children. They hear enough of it in music, on TV and at the movies; they don't need it reinforced as appropriate behavior at home. This is a standard that we are quickly losing in our culture, and it's very disappointing. Your girlfriend is setting a poor example for the next generation. Profanity is not cool; others would view her as uneducated and trashy.
If you think you have a future with this woman, you have a right to make your position clear. She may have grown up in a household where such language was acceptable, but she's an adult and a mother now and has the choice to crawl up onto the curb, so to speak. She may or may not decide to improve her vocabulary. Be prepared for both alternatives.
2007-12-31 07:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get her mouth under control. that usually means she has other issues as well.
2007-12-31 07:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by Proverbs twenty7 7teen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your are right for being upset with this behavior. I have done it many times and my wife and i are both working on it, but the damage is already done in my situation because my 16 month old son always says *** now. I would just talk to her and tell her you are not confortable with this kind of talk. There should be some more respect between her kids and her, but its obvious there isn't much there. good luck.
2007-12-31 07:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was nothing wrong with you pointing that out. I my self have a very bad potty mouth and bad as it sounds I thank my mom. I don't anything wrong with it per say but I know I sound like a total trucker and think nothing of it because that's what I was brought up with. Now, if my mother hears a F bomb drop I'm 26 and I know I better duck because she's going to pop one me still. I always felt you better practice what you preach.
People, family, friends and whatnot take on to their surroundings. Ask if how she would feel if later on she heard her child refer to her grandbaby in the same way how she would feel. Remember not to attack but rather do the role play or put yourself in their shoes
2007-12-31 07:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by GMC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not the cursing thats the problem here but the actual telling the mother how to act in front of or discipline her own children that I think she objects to. She feels that those are her kids only at this point, and you should not have any say so in disciplining them until you become step dad. Most mothers feel that they can do no wrong in raising their children and its no body elses business but theirs even if Dad is around. Any male steps on their boundaries is bound to experience a mothers rath. Your totally right about the cursing but wrong in your approach to correct it. No matter how hard you try those kids will learn the language quick enough from outside sources so they dont need it from a parental figure who should be setting the example but it happens and theres not much one can do about it less to upset the status quo. Show the kids by your example and perhaps her too is probably the best advice here. Good luck and Happy New Year
2007-12-31 07:21:20 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think your wrong at all, as a matter of fact yall need to discuss these things before you go as far as marrige, with kids what you feed in is what you get back, i agree with you on that one i dont like to see or hear folks cussing their kids i think its wrong.....just my opinion...good luck to yall...and happy new year
2007-12-31 07:13:34 · answer #6 · answered by happy2beme60 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw a sign once that said
" The lack of profanity offends no one."
I think it is a bad idea for parents to be profane in front of children. Children learn what they live.
How surprised do you think she will be when the older son finally returns her language?
2007-12-31 07:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
goodness! i am totally there with you on bringing it up. First off.. she shouldn't be doing it.. and second.. it you feel like you needed to say something.. then it would only be beneficial for you to say it. Conversation is deeply needed in any relationship. You should be able to talk about anything.. including how you feel about ones behavior or acts. So.. i am totally agreeing with you. i mean...your 4 year old especially shouldn't be around that.. it's a start at bad behavior for them.. my fiance doesn't cuss around our children! (we are getting married tomorrow!!) anyway.. good luck!
2007-12-31 07:10:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, 13 or 30. It is never okay to curse, period. It is not okay to tell a 13 year old to shut the f*** up. Your girlfriend is wrong for treating her kids that way. They will give her no respect when they are grown.
2007-12-31 07:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's okay for her to do it.. but when you do it.. she gets upset. Let her know that double standards don't work well with you. She can't very well get on to you about something that she does herself.
2007-12-31 07:09:36 · answer #10 · answered by Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋