I watched some myself for a short period of time, but I wasn't really into it like that. Then I make an attempt for us to watch it together and he didn't care for it. Now, I found out he's been watching it & did NOT tell me... So, why do I NOT like it? How should I feel? Is that okay? Should we try watching it together (since he's been doing it)? He said he'll stop if I'm uncomfortable, but it's more that he kept it from me!
2007-12-31 06:58:29 · 13 answers · asked by 2012 will be a great year 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not that big of a deal. Don't cause a big fuss over this. It is not worth it. And you shouldn't be threatened by it. Men are just visual, and nothing against you.
Don't believe any of the blather about proven negative affects, blah, blah, blah, etc. It is a bunch of baloney, and they don't know what they are talking about.
You just need to chill out, and not make a big deal over this. If you want to watch it some with him, then fine. Watch together, try to imitate what they do, make it a part of your love making. Why not surprise him with a BJ while he is watching or something.
I guarantee you most men and now many women watch porn. So don't make him feel bad about it, etc.
If you will read some of the responses from some of the women on this, you can well understand why their husbands watch porn all the time.
Remember that sex is a man's number one need, and they pretty much think about it all the time. It does not diminish his love for you etc.
There is a good book that I read one time, that you probably should read- It's called:
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray
Will kinda help you understand.
Read all the responses to your question, especially from the women. Compare the answers.
FOR EXAMPLE, Compare the response from the lady above my response, with the first lady you come to after my response. If you were a guy, which lady would you want for a wife and would want to live with? Exactly.
Chill.
2007-12-31 07:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by madcat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Porn is oriented toward one thing, turning a guy on. Of course women are not going to like it. He is a bit embarrassed. Don't take it personally, its just the way it is.
2007-12-31 09:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I first found out my husband was downloading porn, I got upset and thought "Im not good enough" or "he wants me to be more like them". We talked about it and thats not the case at all. Now I dont even care that he watches porn. Men are very visual creatures, and porn is like a fantasy to them. They dont actually like these women, they are trash to them. And they dont want us to be like them (well, not in every aspect lol) Its great that you tried to watch it together, good for you. I wouldnt make him stop though. As long as hes not hiding it from you , I think its ok. He loves you....NOT them. Happy New Year!
2007-12-31 07:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by tulips♥77 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax, you know the ole saying, if you watch baseball, you want to play the game!! As long as your on his team, enjoy the game, and watch your own porn, and seduce/attack him!
2007-12-31 07:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel the same as you do. You should communicate to him what you don't care for and moreover, why it bothers you that he watches it without you. Years ago, I experienced a similar situation. I determined that the hard core stuff simply grossed me out--but I could/would tolerate soft porn with some sort of plot (to keep my interest), and communicated this to him. I also expressed concerns that he'd try to bring that "perverted, kinky" hard-core porno crap into our marriage-bed, which would completely undermine our healthy, happy "groove." He then lost interest in the hard-core porn--deciding why rev his engine (by watching porn) when he wasn't driving the car (actually participating in the sex acts he was viewing)?
Clear communication will be key in resolving this issue.
I sincerely hope this helps you.
2007-12-31 07:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by twystedsysta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be honest. sometimes that can help your sex life and marital bliss :)
2007-12-31 07:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by Abby L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this. I was very upset about it because it made me feel unsexy. I was upset he was rubbing one out to porn instead of waking me to have sex. But I do have insecurity issues so that could be why. I think you feel betrayed and maybe like me you think if he's hiding this what else could he be hiding maybe? He might say he will stop if you don't like it but I know in my situation he didn't. Plain and simple if it's something he knows you don't like then he should be considerate of your feelings. Maybe try watching it together but if your not comfortable with that don't force yourself. Ask him what you could do for him instead of him watching porn? Maybe the porn realizes his fantasys. Ask him why he likes watching porn besides the obvious. I'll never understand guys and their porn I'd rather be doing it than watching someone else do it. Good luck.
2007-12-31 07:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by jackie b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just doesn't want to watch it with you... no big deal. As long as its not kiddie porn, I don't see a problem.
2007-12-31 07:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by Aimee R 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave it alone if he is not cheating on you the let it be. If it takes your place then there is a problem
2007-12-31 07:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make way for a barrage of Thumbs Down, but here's the proven truth. Studies show that porn has hidden dangers (addictions that can lead to twisted perceptions of females and children as well as criminal behavior), and we're all human and susceptible to these dangers. Please don't play with fire.
2007-12-31 07:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋