I had a question about my parenting plan. Does the cevaluator come up with a parenting plan that she reccomends to the court? or does she create a document about us as parents and that is presented to the court and a parenting plan is developed from that by the judge, us and our lawyers.
My daughter's father was abusive toward me in our marriage. After reviewing all of my evidence, I feel confident that the evaluation will come out favorably toward me.
But I am afraid of my x. I am afraid for my current husband and his children too because they live in our household. While married to him he did threaten to kill me on more than one occasion. I have reason to believe that there could be a real danger if his custody or visitation is changed.
Can I ask the custody evaluator to request a PO for me and my family? There was never one granted. My lawyer is conservative and feared that if we asked for one and it was denied that the initial request for one could look like I am vindictive.
2007-12-31
06:50:45
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14 answers
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asked by
superchick2314
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can specific language be written into the PO, like my x can only come to my home when pre-arranged to drop off or pick up for visiation. That he is suppose to stay away from the place where I work. I know the parenting plan isn't about me, so I have avoided asking for anything like this. He has not threatened me at work, but where I have to park is not safe and there is a long walk into the building.
I have considered getting a gun, but I won't until I can come up with a good plan to keep the gun in a location that is accessible if I need it suddenly to defend myself but secure enough so it is never a danger to the children. I cannot come up with a good plan. If anyone has one, I would appreciate hearing it. I have always been anti-gun, but if the court doesnt do something to protect my family I am willing to compromise my beliefs to protect them myself.
2007-12-31
06:51:54 ·
update #1
I would like to get a home security system to protect my family, but right now things are so tight financially with the ongoing litigation. Is it reasonable to ask the court to award maintenance in the form of reimbursement to install such a system and paying the monthly fees. Ideally until my daughter is 18, but even for five years would be nice so I can be protected and have a chance to recoup financially.
Would the evaluator and/or court think I am nuts for asking? I am really afraid of what will happen and can show that there is evidence that he has threatened to harm me previously and has been abusive physically in our marriage. He continues to make threats to me as we co-parent, but they are currently not about physical harm they focus on humiiliating me at my daughter's school or not be cooperative with parenting issues. physically. I really cannot afford a home security system, and it is because of him that I feel that my familie
2007-12-31
06:52:41 ·
update #2
But I know he is capable of being a danger to me physically. I really cannot afford a home security system, and it is because of him that I feel that my families constitutional rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are compromised. That is why I feel it reasonable to ask for this very unconventional award. What do you all think? Am I way off here?
Also, does this request need to filed in a different court? Civil? Please give your opinions, expereince or research on any similar matter. Also, any other ideas to protect my family would be appreciated. Thanks.
2007-12-31
06:53:31 ·
update #3
The CE develops a family plan based on their evaluation. NOw you need to tell them everything you said here. Its possible for the CE to request in your families best interest that a PO be drawn up with very limited supervised visits on him. Leave out the gun to the CE as this will definitely raise some red flags on you that you dont need, so just leave the gun til later. Any evidence, witnesses or any other proof you have to back your claim about him to the CE would greatly help your case so it doesnt end up being your word against his and nothing gets accomplished, but stress immensely that you feel threatened for your life by him, but dont make him out to be a cold killer. The PO covers you and yours everywhere you guys are, but remember to the CE, hes going to make himself look like a choir boy that cant do no wrong. Just try not to look like a revengeful wife too much. The CE is trained to spot special red flags so try not to raise to many of them, just be yourselves and portray the "Leave It to Beaver-Cleaver" family and youll be alright. Good luck
2007-12-31 07:08:10
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answer #1
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answered by Arthur W 7
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No, the custody evaluator does not go into court and recommend protection orders. They evaluate each home and give a report based on the findings.
If you never did anything legally against your ex for any abuse you suffered, guess what - it is your word against his and will have NO BEARING what so ever. If it was only verbal abuse, it is even less of a factor. And, to be honest, it really doesn't matter how he treated you - if he was never abusive to the children, or there is nothing legally or medically documented (psychologist or medical doctor) - he has full right to 50% custody of the children.
when being evaluated, be very careful of how much you say that is negative about your ex if you do not have the proof to back it up - you could very easily go from being "protective" to trying to alienate him from the kids and look like you are trying to replace him as the father with your new husband.
No guns in the house - that is irresponsible as a parent.
2007-12-31 07:00:25
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answer #2
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answered by allrightythen 7
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For one, you can get a protective order on your own- it does not have to be part of the custody issue. If you can show that he is a danger and poses a genuine harm to your physical well being, the Court should grant it. The custody evaluator could ask for supervised visitation if they believe your ex is a threat to the child. Speak with the evaluator and express your concerns. They can always make recommendations, but that does not mean the Court will order all of them. Also with regard to the alarm system.. the Court will most likely not grant you an order for reimbursement. That is something you will have to pay for. Good luck!
2007-12-31 07:02:27
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answer #3
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answered by zchi6 2
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