My wife of 35 years has decieded to call it quits. She has moved out and I am left with the rent and bills. She has a good job and has said she will help pay some bills, but I don't really need that I need her. Any help??? No adultry or anything like that, just quits.
2007-12-31 06:22:09 · 17 answers · asked by Jay G 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Need to clairify I guess. She doesn't want to get counselling or the like. Just to move on.
2007-12-31 06:28:19 · update #1
Maybe you got married really young and grew apart...that can happen. I think that you should tell her you want her happiness and try to find some happiness for yourself. Sometimes relationships are not always good for us. As with any addiction. Love can be very addicting and we become dependent on the other person. You may have just become so comfortable with the relationship as it was you didn't even see that it was falling apart in front of you. There could be some major life change that brought on the stress as well. Communication can break down and then you just become comfortable not taking the time to work through things. Let her know you are willing to do what is needed to make things work out and see that she too is wanting to make the relationship work. She may be going through a midlife crisis too....you never know. It does take two to make or break a relationship.
2007-12-31 06:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by heartkiss 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, i'm sorry, hon. You've been married for a very long time. Was there any signs she wasn't happy? How old were you two when you got married? Sometimes if a woman gets married young she feels like she loses out on some things in life, like living alone, fending for herself, having her own life. Sometimes it isn't anything that you did, maybe she just feels that there's something she needs to do for herself. It sounds like you two are still on good terms, and if there was nothing that caused the separation (like adultery) then maybe you can still be friends, and maybe she may work out her issue and the two of you can start again where you left off, just a little further down the road. How does she react if you try to talk to her? Have you asked her what's bothering her? I'm sure she's said that 'its nothing you did'... Maybe she's having a religious change of heart, or maybe she's having some other major battle with herself that she just needs some time alone to deal with. Has she lost a loved one lately? parent or sibling, friend etc.? Sometimes some people just need some space. It sounds like if shes wanting to help with bills still that she's not wanting to cut off all ties. Take her help, and use it as a connection that you can still talk to her. Give her some time and some space, and maybe when your anniversary or her birthday come up you could call her and ask her if you could take her out to dinner for the occasion. Good luck, hon, and if you need to talk, drop me a line.
2007-12-31 06:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by Silver Thunderbird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a billion words that I could throw at you, but really it all boils down to this.
One day at a time. Let her know that you don't want to quit, but don't beg or plead. State your case and she will choose what she want to choose. After that point. Get your life in order and pursue the things that make you happy and satisfied...which of course won't happen right away, but consider that it won't happen at all if you don't try....one day at a time.
Good luck. You are not alone and remember this is part of your life too. This is part of your story and what you do next will determine how the story continues.
2007-12-31 06:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. My wife left after 10. It was devastating and I'm still paying for it six years later. Get a good attorney and don't let anyone jerk you around! Good luck!!!
2007-12-31 06:29:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sir , I regret that you have to go through the miseries of rejection and divorce ; but , the day will come when you can look back on it as history .
Yes , it pains us deeply ; we feel betrayed and unlovable .
I tried to live each day as it came and after a long while it was easier to live each day as it came .
My heart and prayers go out to you ; keep on keeping on . :0)
2007-12-31 06:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jay,
See this as an opportunity to become who you really are. Married for 35 years, I am sure that you felt somewhat smothered.
Now you can venture out and find stuff to do that YOU really like. Downsize your apartment, she is also 1/2 responsible for the bills so no worries there.
Divorce for me was the best answer to my problems, I am glad I did it!
2007-12-31 06:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah, thats a tough one. i feel for ya. at least you still have cash.
try to get closer with your pals and kids and make new firends. dosome traveling. you would be just as lonly if she had died, so mourn a little, but starting tomorrow is a new year. new places to go, people to meet, go on match . com or something.
2007-12-31 06:26:24 · answer #7 · answered by Johnny U 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
decide if you want her back and if this is best.
If so, then move on into your new life. It will be hard.
If not, get the wife to come back and talk it out
2007-12-31 06:25:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you are going to need a bit of counceling. See if she is willing to go for counceling with you as this way maybe you can salvage something even if it is just a friendship. You cant make someone stay with you, but this is a long term commitment that you are loosing here. There is no shame in asking for professional help either, so please go and talk with someone that can help you work out your feelings so that you can move on. Good luck hun.
2007-12-31 06:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on buddy there is nothing u can do.
2007-12-31 06:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by khinman14 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋