What would you do? Me and my husband have been married for almost 5 years, but have been together for eight years. When we first starting dating he told me had Leukemia, I have now found out that was a lie. A couple of months ago I went to his ex-employer to pick up his check, and was talking to the lady in the office and she asked me how he was doing since he has melanoma, which he does not have. I have noticed that he lies all the time. He lost his job, because he stayed out all the time. He has not worked in 3 months and we do not have the money to pay our bills. He had an interview last week and is probably going to get the job; the problem is that it is only part-time. It would hurt us more for him to take the job, because we have to start back paying daycare full time and the job is in another city, and gas would cost a lot more. We have two children and I feel like that the only reason he is there is because he has no where else to go and I am supporting him. I love him but I am tired of being stressed out over bills and his attitude with me and the children. What should I do? Should I tell him to leave? It would devastate my children if he left. He has two children from a previous marriage that he hardly ever sees, and they live in the same town.
2007-12-31 06:07:05 · 7 answers · asked by digiwigis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to decide what you can live with. If he is not willing to get a job you will have to decide what limit of time you will give him. Then you will need to stick to your guns. No extensions. If the money is going to be worse from the childcare tell him you need him to work a split shift so you and he can share it for awhile. If that is not going to work then you will have to come to some sort of compromise. It is ultimately up to you as to what you can handle. Is he in a rut? Is he depressed? There are causes as to why guys just drop from jobs. As far as the lies that is a rough one. I think that there is a break of trust there. He may be so caught up in the lies that he doesn't even know the truth from a lie now. It is a rough one...no answer will tell you better then your heart as to how to handle it. Trust is a hard thing to build once it has been broken. What are you willing to live with? That is the number one question to ask yourself.
2007-12-31 06:18:36 · answer #1 · answered by heartkiss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so bad for you! My husband has a childhood Friend who sounds identical to your husband. He was married for 30 yrs having 3 children, and all the while his wife would work 2 sometimes 3 jobs just to keep the bills paid. She FINALLY divorced him this past yr. He would work occasionally...I think the longest he ever held a job was for 6 months. Now this man is running out of Friends to live with and suck dry. He stayed with us for 1 month,,, I said that's it!! I don't work 40 hrs a week to support his lazy behind! Your husband has these same tendencies. He sounds like someone who tells these lies to make people feel sorry for him so they want to help support his behind.....If you leave him, he'll just find some other poor woman to leach off....and the really sad part is the emotional neglect this situation brings on to the children hes fathered. All he thinks about is himself....You may choose to stay with him for the sake of your children, but then be prepared to support him......guys like this get to used to being taken care of by anyone who'll put up with it. The only way he'll learn to grow up is when he runs out of people to take care of him...And they are "masters" at making everyone feel guilty and sorry for them, because everything bad that happens to them is always someone Else's fault. Sad Situation!
2007-12-31 06:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by grami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pathological lying is a psychological disorder. He needs some help. If mentioning this to him doesn't get him to see a doctor, you need to then consult an attorney to get a divorce. Its that simple. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
2007-12-31 06:27:47 · answer #3 · answered by Vernita B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your sanity worth here? It seems that his staying around is serving no purpose whatsoever. You need to decide whether youre better off with or without him and then move on accordingly. The kids will be alright and will adapt to a one parent family and who knows, this just might serve as a wake up call and get him to get his butt in gear and change for the good, well theres always hope in everybody. Tough love time,sorry. Good luck
2007-12-31 06:19:24 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you need a hug!!!!!
Have you confronted him about it? maybe there is another problem you don't know about.
Talk to him try to get to the bottom of it. give him an ultamateum(bad spelling).
Good luck. I am going through the same thing he won't work because he is convinced somhow a business will just fall in his lap.without actually looking for it.
2007-12-31 06:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by cocolia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, the main question is - do you still love him?
He needs to seek therapy for his addiction to lying.
Good luck
2007-12-31 06:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by Ruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could he possibly have a drug addiction that he's hiding or is he simply a pathological liar?
Sounds like he lies to get out of responsibilities such as work, parenting, etc.
Yeah, I'd be pretty concerned if I were you. Try going to couples counseling.
2007-12-31 06:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋