Ok on friday i went to my 2 week check up (im 31weeks pregnant), well my doctor was not there because she has become very ill, so they are having doctors fill in until they can find another female doctor to join the practice along with my doctor..... Ok so the fill in doctor was a male, he comes in the room asks me some questions and one of them was Where is the father..... i said he is not in the picture....... The doctor than tells me, i should give my baby up for adoption because, it's in her best intreast that i give her to a loving family that has a mother and a father,,,,,,,,,, i was sooo mad and devestated, how could a doctor tell a patient this?? i mean im 26yrs old i am old enough and mentally prepared to care for my child, i would not give her up for the world........ it's not my fault he felt like he couldn't handle having a child. Anyways, this keeps burning me everytime i think about it, how would you feel? and how would you handle it?
2007-12-31 05:51:31 · 31 answers · asked by alicia m 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I don't know if i should just let it go, or if i should call up my doctors office and make a complaint...... all i know is that it keeps bothering me, and i can't believe someone actually could say something like this to me.
2007-12-31 05:52:21 · update #1
Thank you so much everyone!!! i will definately be making a formal complaint soon as the office is open. I know that i should of handled this situation while i was still in the office, but i was stuck between complete and utter shock and trying to get out of there before i ripped his head off...... (trying to keep those hormones under control), but the more i think about it the more it bothers me, and i tossed and turned last night thinking about it.
2007-12-31 06:08:59 · update #2
Think about how this made you feel, and then think "would I wasnt this to happen to someone else?" Im sure the answer is NO.....so stop it and call the dr's office to report his unprofessional and RUDE behavior. It is totally wrong for him to make any commentary or give advice on your personal relationship situation...and its NONE OF HIS BUSINESS!!!!!!!! Think about if a younger girl were in there....or someone who wasnt as strong willed and scared about their situation, mentally and emotionally unstable and his comments pushed them into doing something horrible?!??!!? When comments like that come from a dr (someone we are supposed to trust and confide it) it can have a really strong and devastating effect on some women, and these are women who are preganant and emotional already!! What a JERK!!! Oh my gosh it makes me so angry....just please know he is a jerk and you are doing what is right, and im sure you will be a great mother, but save other girls from the same comments and report him!!!!!
2007-12-31 06:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I would too. I was 20 when I first became pregnant. They know the baby daddy wouldn't be around and they didn't say anything to me. Now my mom did when I was 8 months pregnant she asked if I ever thought about adoption. I told my no that I love baby very much which I did through it was born yet. I would if someone said that to me.,.
2008-01-01 09:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by Proud mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
complain , the guy is a basket , he is sooooooo wrong
2007-12-31 12:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by Bryce 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you-make a complaint. And if whoever answers the phone gives you any lip, ask, no DEMAND for their boss or manager or a corporate number you can call. Make sure you have the exact date & time & conversation written down or in your head when you call. Don't be afraid; set your foot down and let them know you are NOT happy & how rude it was. Wow, I would go friggin ballistic if someone said that to me.
GOOD LUCK with everything!
2007-12-31 08:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by Malia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would absolutely file a formal complaint. The best interest of the child is with the natural parent(s) 99.9% of the time anyway, even if there is only one of you. Being a single parent of a child is not only none of his business, but also is not so big an obstacle you and the baby won't be fine. Good luck on the pregnancy and may that Dr. get his license taken away.
2007-12-31 06:46:38 · answer #5 · answered by Squirrel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what an ignorant git he is...........i'd be reporting him.. he's not there to make a judgement like like that. Even if you were younger than you are he should not talk like that..........Try not to get stressed out over it all though
2007-12-31 06:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by Fluffy Cheryl♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he TELL you to put your child up for adoption or did he suggest it? There's a vast difference between the two and you have to be aware of the tone.
If he told you flat out "You need to put your baby up for adoption.", then I'd be livid and would file a complaint. It wasn't his place to tell you how to live your life. There are a lot of people out there raising their children alone. It is extremely difficult to do though, I'm not going to lie.
If he suggested it by saying something to the effect of "Have you considered putting the child up for adoption?", then he is merely doing his job. He asks you so that you'll be informed of your options. He also needs to know in case you have considered this option and the adoptive parents were going to be in the birthing room with you, or take the child home with them instead of going home with you, as is the case in a lot of newborn adoptions nowadays.
Sure, my son would have fared a lot better if he'd had a two parent home, but because that wasn't the case, we had to make do with what we had. There have been a lot of tough times, but we're doing the best we can with the circumstances.
I guess what I"m trying to say is to carefully analyze the tone and manner in which he brought up the adoption subject before spouting off to his superior. Hormones make women a little more sensitive to things people say, so be sure before you lay into him or report him.
Best of luck!
2007-12-31 06:23:24 · answer #7 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I'm so sorry that happened to you. I would be LIVID. I'd be wanting to punch the doctor in the head if they had told my sister that. Yes, unfortunately she is only 17 but she has enough help that the baby is well taken care of & more than loved. =o) (The father is only 1/2 in the picture.)
If I were you, I would report that doctor & lodge a complaint with the head of the office ASAP....both via telephone & a formal written letter. That doctor was unprofessional, unethical, completely out of line & has no right to tell you what to do with your personal life because it's your decision....no doctor has that right. They can only go so far as to offer suggestions & even then, only when you ask for advice....which you did not do. When you make your next appointment, make sure to tell them that you do NOT want one with that specific doctor because of their unprofessionalism.
2007-12-31 06:11:19 · answer #8 · answered by §uper ®ose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definitley call the doctors office and complain. he has no right to assume you cant take care of your child without the father.
2007-12-31 06:10:20 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the medical field for a bit over 15 years and I assure you that the comment that your doctor made was OUT of LINE and against ethics. You have every right to be upset and agitated. He was out of place and if I were you, I would not return to him for care. He obviously has a personal opinion about your situation and he is truly unprofessional. The only laws that give physicians authority to intervene in any domestic situation is when they see physical traits of abuse and or neglect. Outside of that, they are to remain impartial and professional. I am so amazed at his passive aggressive response. Ooooooh I would not go back!!!!!!!
2007-12-31 06:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by Chynah D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋