Everything irritates him....we have 2 cars but we use mine on the weekends. He gets mad when i ask him to drive cause he thinks i'm making him my chauffer. So i drive all the time but he does not like the way i drive cause..he says i drive 2 slow..(60-70 ..my speed) , he says i am always following cars, and i am always on the dangerous lanes.He told me that police are looking 4 drivers like me. In my own words i'm comfortable with my speed limit cause i have control of the car incase of any accidents. He yells at me and i get so confused sometimes.
So yesterday 2 try 2 avoid any yelling...i tried 2 drive like he always want me 2. But he complained again..asking why am i always changing lanes, why the rush, why cant i drive at the same pace like the other cars. He gave me lessons again.
He prints direction and tlls me when 2 turn....he is bad at giving directions cause ..sometimes he doesn't say ..ok here turn right or left..he just point with his hand...or sometimes he says wait wait
2007-12-31 05:49:32 · 28 answers · asked by Boom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
how can i wait when i'm driving. He wont let me have the map, cause it would be easy 4 me 2 read direction ..so i know when to turn early. If i make a mistake or i take a long time to turn he yells at me...Driving is like a turture to me. Well TALKING to him wont help..he will be more and more upset...he does not like to be proved wrong. He is like where the f** are u going...is home that way...u stupid u dont know where u live...whats wrong with u...crying wont get u home.
2007-12-31 05:53:37 · update #1
SMILINGC thats what i was hoping to do.....to print this and giv it to him while i'm drving.....But i'm scared if i do ...he may as well ban me from using the computer.....thanks ppl..your answers make me strong everyday.
2007-12-31 06:28:11 · update #2
If driving is your marriage's biggest problem area, then it would be best if you two didn't ride together. If you absolutely have to, then take turns at the wheel. Keep a record of who drove and the destinations if you have to. Maybe you could offer to drive to the destination and then he would be expected to drive back home, or vice versa.
Also, insist upon knowing where you're going prior you get into the car. Go to Mapquest or Yahoo Maps and print out your own directions. Get a Garmin or other GPS device. Do whatever you have to do to stop "driving in the dark" and relying on him to bark directions at you. We don't need anymore frazzled drivers on the roads.
Whatever you do, don't be tempted to give him back the same critical driving treatment that he gives you. It will only fuel the pettiness. Take the high road.
ADDITIONAL INFO:
The more you add, the more controlling he sounds. He's not treating you like an adult. The deeper issue here may not be your driving.
A constant critic in the car would drive me nuts. He can ride and talk about other, more pleasant things, or he can drive or not ride with me at all. If it were me, I would rather pay for the double gasoline usage and take two cars if it would keep peace in the marriage. If forced to drive, I would be prepared to stop, get out of the car at any point and (1) plant myself in the back seat or (2) call a friend or a cab for a ride. Then he will have to drive himself, and he'll likely leave you in the dust. Be strong. If this happens once or twice, and he sees that you are not phased by it, perhaps your husband will get the message that he's been stepping over the line.
Put your foot down. Don't lose your temper, yell, scream or cry because that will make you look childish. Be direct and as unemotional as possible; tell him your decision and walk away. Ignore the insults that he may hurl at you. He has the problem, not you.
Is he controlling in other areas of your marriage, too? If so, then you have bigger problems than being his criticized chauffeur. You could very well be in an abusive relationship.
2007-12-31 05:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Is he a control freak with everything you do? Just tell him - and not too politely- that if he doesn't like the way you drive he can get out of the car, get on his feet and walk. How polite was I???!!!
2007-12-31 08:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to drive as you are confortable. Your speed and your movement in traffic.
Perhaps you should offer to let him drive. Say it - Why don't you drive, I am such a bad driver and you are so much better than I am. You drive" and ther e it is. You have appealed to his ego and given him a chance to take the wheel. In fact, you have forced him to drive since you have acknowledged that he is the better driver.
Other than that, suggest, when he gets ranting, that he take over the driving.
Yo mnight also stop the car and call a taxi. Just leave him sitting there.
Don't yell back, don't argue and don't cry. You cannot read a map while you are driving. You should plan the trip before hand if you have not been there before.
Giving you directions is only to help you get there without getting lost or making wrong turns. No problem with that if he gives the directions well before the point where you must take action.
Hard to resolve the situation. He has a control problem. He wants you to drive because if he drives he feels like a chauffer. Well, if you drive you feel like a chauffer. the final solution is you drive your car and he drives his. then - no arguements, no chauffer and no navigator.
Every suggestion you make be sure it is reasonable, given in a friendly voice as a suggestion. No confrontation.
2007-12-31 06:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by organbuilder272 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From here onward, give him the keys and let him drive. If this makes him uncomfortable, let him drive his own car. He only wants you to drive, to save himself the hassle. At the same time, he doesn't want you to think you're a better driver than he is; so he picks at you, all while you're driving. You've got to stop this behavior. Do not drive him around anymore. If it means you guys must drive 2 cars, so be it. If it means you don't go wherever you guys were going, don't go.
You've got to stop letting this man bully you. You're a grown woman. Start standing up for yourself. Find the courage to say NO, when he wants you to drive. No matter how he yells and tries to get his way, tell him NO and mean it. Even if it means you don't go wherever it is you were going, tell him NO!
What man thinks he's a chauffer, because he drives his wife somewhere? Does that mean you're being his chauffer when you drive him around? Your husband is full of crap. He's a controlling lunatic and you need to stop allowing him to play his games with you. If he won't keep his mouth shut when you're driving, let him drive his own car!
2007-12-31 06:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're comfortable with the way you drive, then you're fine. However, please note that you cannot drive in a fast-moving lane if you cannot keep up with the traffic! This can cause an accident when a speeding car has to slam on his brakes to avoid rear-ending you. So is it best for you to stick to the (farthest) right lane when you drive.
Also, if you do not feel comfortable driving with your husband in the car, then don't! Since you have 2 cars, driving together and driving each other mad with frustration is unnecessary. If you ABSOLUTELY cannot avoid driving together, sit him down (when he's in a calm and rational mood -- instead of bringing up the issue while it's happening or making an issue right after it happens) and explain to him that you don't like the way he belittles you when you drive. His comments do not improve the way you drive; he only confuses and frustrates you. He may be well intentioned but that is your perception of his behavior when you're behind the wheel. Remind him that if he has nothing positive to say, then it's best he says nothing at all.
If he believes he has done nothing wrong, don't push the issue, simply refuse to take the wheel. You have that choice!
2007-12-31 06:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by uNrAveLeD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like it is time to take his car on the weekends. If he refuses. Stop the car and give him this choice: You may drive or walk.
2007-12-31 06:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by rhiannon0913 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he do
2007-12-31 06:18:01 · answer #7 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh boy, another control freak! there's nothing worse for your confidence etc when you're yelled at & gestured at all the time you're driving. i refused to have mine in the car while i was driving, when he kept doing that to me. it's actually very confusing & could be dangerous. suggest that if he thinks you're driving is that bad, he pay for you to go on an advanced driving course! tell him you'll only drive him anywhere when you've passed it! quote something like £800 & then watch his jaw drop! happy driving, diane.
2007-12-31 06:16:12 · answer #8 · answered by diquarry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn't like the way you drive, he needs to drive, and shut up. If he doesn't want to be your chauffeur, then, he needs to buckle up and sit down, shut up, and just ride!
2007-12-31 06:12:52 · answer #9 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, I wouldn't even get behind the wheel anymore. He says he doesn't want to be your chauffeur...Who says you need to be HIS chauffeur?? He's not the boss of you. You are a big girl and need to stand up for yourself. Don't let him bring you to tears like that. What a complete jerk to do that to his WIFE! Someone he is supposed to love and cherish!
Just say, "if we are going somewhere together, either you drive or we don't go - I have had enough of you insulting my driving and my character and I will no longer tolerate it."
Best of luck. He will have so much more respect for you if you stand up for yourself. He's pushing you around because you are LETTING him.
2007-12-31 06:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋