The thing is we also have a two year old daughter, who I love with all my heart. And I'd still say I love my wife, but things just don't seem to be working. I knew things would be different after we had a baby, but it just seems we're getting further apart. I also travel alot for my job, I'm gone usually every other weekend for alot of the year, I do get some nice time off, and on those vacations it seems like everything is good. But then it's back to work and it's the same thing.
I also can't stand the idea of leaving or being apart from my daughter, but is it better for her to live with two parents that seem to be growing further apart. Also, because of all this I keep having to fight the temptation of cheating on her, and it seems the harder to avoid it, the more women pop up who try to get it to happen.
What should I do?
2007-12-31 05:46:51 · 16 answers · asked by derek_4u04 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks so far for all the answers. I should add too, that me and my wife have been to counselling once already, and it was good for awhile but then went back to the same. Also, I understand you guys saying I should quit my job, or find a new one, but the thing is I can't just quit my occupation. I've worked hard since I was in high school to get to where I am, and I just can't give it up now.
2007-12-31 11:22:18 · update #1
You have already outlined the problem... you are becoming distant from one another. SO FIX IT. Remember when she was everything to you? Then you took vows with her? Then you had this beautiful baby girl?
Sacrifice the horniness - you aren't the only one who wants that new feeling of butterflies, etc. She wants it too!
My husband and I talk about that sometimes. How fun it would be meet someone and get that new feeling of excitement back. The reality is, that would wear off again with that person, then you would have to go to the next person, and so on to keep those butterflies, etc.
The best thing is having a best friend, partner in life, and a beautiful child who deserves to have her parents WORK IT OUT for her sake.
She doesn't beat you, she's not a druggie, she's not cheating, and she brought you a little girl. KEEP HER! She and your daughter are worth it. Please don't become a statistic because your peter wants to have a little temporary fun.
If you want a closer relationship, work on it. Lay in bed with her at night and TALK. Get a babysitter and take your wife to a mexican restraunt for margaritas and appetizers and TALK. Hold hands. Go grocery shopping with her and your daughter once. Just do little things with her and be her friend.
Don't be "one of those guys" who gave it all up for a little fun.
2007-12-31 06:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be mean but you have got to grow a set. I was married to a milktoast man for a long time. I could never respect him and my love for him was more companionable and my passion for him non-existant. I thought I was a horrible, strong willed woman but he was just a weak man. I am now married to my second husband who is a strong, confident man. He wears the pants in the family and I am so much happier that way. He is loving and caring toward me but he puts his foot down when he needs to. I respect him and am wildly, passionately in love with him. It isn't a case of being a hard-*** or a domineering male. It is that you CANT let a woman walk all over you or she won't be able to respect you. You should never have 'caved' on the car. Since it wasn't just your personal preference but a real savings moneywise you should have told her it was going to be the cheaper car or no new car at all. Same with the house. She "did everything in her power"?? So she held a gun to your head? Come ON soldier! Man up! It sounds like you are doing good with your stepson. It also sounds like MIL is cut from the same cloth as wifey. Do what is best for the boy and don't worry about her two cents...that is all that it is worth. DONT do all the work around the house. Are you CRAZY? And you will stop working to bring her a drink while she watches TV? Boy has she got you trained. And really? With all those issues you are worried about her weight??? If you had a sweet, loving wife you wouldn't care about the 30 lbs. Put your life in perspective, man.
2016-05-28 06:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating on your wife is the wrong answer. you need to find what you lost in your relationship with your wife. we always let other things pass by in our day to day lives and forget who we are and what our mates mean to us. take time to be with her and regain the fun you once had and for the reason you married her. it dont take much only heart. and if you cheat, what if your wife finds out and then ask yourself would it be really worth losing it all? love your wife for who she is and what she means to you.
2007-12-31 06:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get another job
2007-12-31 06:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
quit your job...and spend more time with your wife...and satisfy her in the sack....you'll be happier than a pig in sh*t after that
2007-12-31 06:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Leannamick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your lucky your daughter is quite young so its not so bad on her oh and I know you love your wife then habe you tried telling her that? I think that if you really love your wife then you should think of someday of probing it to her. Anyway good luck to you.
2007-12-31 06:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by pink potato! :] 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce is not a bad thing if the marriage is not working. but you must try everything in your power to make it work. if she doesnt want to go to counseling than you go by yourself. if she doesnt want to have sex than you have to not think about cheating deal with it. but try everything in your power. and if all else fails at that point that divorce the wife but not the child. dont cheat on her. dont get involved with anyone til you are no longer a married man. this way you can split and say that you tried everything and that you never cheated on her although you thought about it you didnt act on it. also try talking to your wife see whats going on with her. try dating her again. showing her that she is appreciated. ask her is there someone she is seeing. and would she go to counseling with you. you must first start with opening the lines of communication. GodBless
2007-12-31 05:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should remember that a roll in the hay with another women will not solve your problems in the marriage...perhaps you should talk to her about counseling to try to save the marriage for your child. I give you credit for not cheating it takes a real man to stay strong when temptation is around!!
2007-12-31 05:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by Radtech1996 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a destroyer of lives!!! At first it offers that apperance of temporal immediate help fom any problems you may be having, but in the long run, everyone losses!!! Especially, the Baby girl!!!
2007-12-31 05:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll still have the same job and therefore the same weekly grind you have now, even with another woman. Think about whether it's a new wife you want or a new job. Maybe a hobby would help - take up a sport or other past time that you can get into? Don't just throw it all away without serious thought, especially if things between you go well when you have your breaks from the norm. It sounds as if you are just bored generally and are looking for a little stimulation.
2007-12-31 05:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by Xai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋