I'm a divorced guy and I'm dating someone who is so much like my ex in habits, mannerisms, finance, conversation, arguments, etc... Traits that made me unhappy with my ex which was a marriage of me basically settling. However, I'm beginning to realize that two people can't always be happy in a marriage. If the man can do whatever it takes to make the woman happpy, then that's all that counts, right? I accepted my ex's traits and the way she was, so I guess I should just accept my girlfriend's traits. It doesn't make me happy but it will make her happy that I accept them and the relationship should work, correct?
2007-12-31 05:33:55 · 11 answers · asked by Smith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You shouldn't "accept" them if you really do not like them....thats called incompatibility. You should look for someone who has the traits you like.
2007-12-31 05:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me if I slap you around a bit to "wake you up".
If you've been down this road before STOP. Remember the saying: First time shame on YOU. Second time shame on ME.
In a marriage BOTH spouses must be happy. Not just content, satisfied, accepting -- HAPPY. No HAPPY no marriage. It becomes an arrangement and stop being a marriage.
You grabbed your girl friend on the rebound. Over 90% of divorcees do that. Then chances are the rebound is an identical twin of their "ex". If you had waited 12 to 18 months before starting to "date seriously", it would have cleared the air and you would have looked for one that would bring you "happiness".
So go away -- there's no "accepting man" except when taking delivery from UPS or FedEx.
Kick this one out. Don't look back. Go shopping again and may your 2008 Christmas bring you "happiness" for you and your future spouse. Good luck.
2007-12-31 13:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are just like any other retarted male.....you make it sound like you care for what the woman you are with wants but in reality you really only care about yourself and for some unknown reason you stick around when you arent happy....nt every woman is happy becasue you marry her...if you are legitimately not happy we can sense that and we wont be satisfied in the relationship! leave the woman who makes you unhappy and find a woman whop makes you happy or you are setting yourself up for failure again
2007-12-31 13:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by Life....it blows! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why make the same mistake twice.Wonder if along the line you decide to marry her,wouldn't that be like staying married to your ex.Specially if you see the same actions from her that your ex had.Move on, there's someone better for you out there.It's ok to want to make someone happy,but you have to be happy first in order to do that.Good luck
2007-12-31 13:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhmm.......no! two people can be happy in a relationship my friend, i would advice you to put the breaks on this relationship. Both people are supposed to be getting what they need from the relationship it cannot be asituation where you feel like you give give and not get anything back in return. You want to feel norished from your relationship just the same way you want to do all you can for your partner because you love em not just to shut em up and make em happy. You know this is going nowhere be smart.cheers
2007-12-31 13:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah very true.. any one should sacfrifice and adjust then the relationship will be fine.. if both are having this nature then the relationship will be excellent.. if both do not want to sacrifice or adjust to other behaviour then relationship will come to an end..
2007-12-31 13:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by samcric 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW what deviated Dr Phil shows have you been watching.
You settled once before and you ended up divorced.
before you move anywhere in the relationship with your girlfriend, you need to make sure you know what makes you happy and not what you can do to make others happy or you will never be happy no matter who you are with.
it is not them , it is you. you need to find you.
2007-12-31 13:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by sammy3256 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you already know this drill.....
you need to be ga-ga before marriage (read=you sound on the cusp of being miserable) and it get a lot less "polite" afterwards.
this isn't going to work and you are going to get into the same exact relationship with another woman until you realize why you keep falling for the same "type" of person. it doesn't make either one of you bad people, just not compatible.
2007-12-31 13:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by speedy ski 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would run as far as my legs would take me until I fell down. What are you thinking? GET OUT! Run! Why would you even THINK about doing that again?
2007-12-31 13:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by irish_jimmy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That type of thinking got you in trouble the first time.
2007-12-31 13:37:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋