Jealousy?....?

Question

so i have been married for 4 months and I can't get over my husband that he checks other girls out, I now guys do that and what not but I can't get over that fact that i'm in his arms while he is looking at another girl. I talk to him about it and he says hes working on it, but i still catch him, guys are really obvious. but how do i get over that, has anyone else gone through this?

Answer 1

He is not suppose to do that. Continue to express your displeasure with this behaviour. Most men do naturally look at women. The first look towards a pretty woman is forgivable. It was probably instinctive. They can't help it. However, the second and third look, the eyes moving up and down look and prolonged staring are all completely controllable.

My husband never did this and has always frowned on other men for doing it ( he is the one who explained the above to me )

Also, here is an answer from Dr Phil that might help.

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/advice_display.jhtml?contentId=adv_20040217_gawker.xml&from=landing

Answer 2

I'm no idiot. I know my husband looks, but he never does it when he's with me.

Answer 3

Oh Yes I have been there. My husband use to do that all the time to the point he would seem like he was going to break his neck to look behind him. It drove me crazy and it would cause fights between us but I had to make him understand that it is disrespectful to me for him to look at everything that passed. I notice now after 5 years that he doesn't make it obvious. I would just explain to him how uncomfortable you feel and soon he will not do it as much.

Answer 4

You are right, it is normal for men to look at other attractive women, it should be just a glance, not a complete turn combined with sniffing the air....if that is what your husband does he isn't as concerned about your feelings as he should be. You should remember though that he chose you for a reason, and is with you not them.
I remember the first time I noticed my bf checking out an attractive woman. He really wasn't prone to do this at all, so it was kind of obvious. We were sitting with friends in a club and she was their guest, and I admit she was very nice and pretty. I could have gotten jealous, but I am fairly confident,so instead I worked it differently. We left soon after, so I remarked that she was a a very sexy girl, and I could see he was attracted. I continued to talk about her, and asked if he was fantasizing about her, then said maybe we should have gotten to know her better...hint, hint. I could see the sparks beginning to fly, he just couldn't believe I was saying such things. I never had before, so it really got his interest, not in her, but in me. By the time we got home, things had really heated up! We never would have actually acted on all the things we talked about, it was just fantasy. Some women might say...yeah but he was thinking about someone else...well he may have been when I started the conversation, but in the end it was all about me.
Just a thought, for what it's worth. :)
Other posters will say to get mad or do the same to him, but honestly use your feminine wills and a little psychology instead. Works a lot better than a "who can drool more" competition.

Answer 5

OK I'm not going to dispute that guys look whatever we can too.but it's just disrespectful to do it right in front of you.

Answer 6

i have been married for 4 months too!! & when we were dating my husband did that.. checked out other girls right in my face.. Then i would look at him really angry & tell him how he is a pervert & how he wasn't even discrete & yelled at him.. Never worked

Once he catched me doing the same thing (actually i was not checking out the other guy but i was looking at him) & he got really mad too!! I then knew how to make him stop... So i let him ''catch''me doing the same thing a couple of times & he yelled & got mad every one of them but understood that it feels awful, it's disrespectful & i was not going to tolerate it.. So he stoped.. & now he NEVER does that (at least not when i'm around) & that's really all i wanted..

Guys are jerks, i can assure you i am WAY hotter than any girl he stares at.. it's his nature.. but it's not acceptable behavior & you should talk to him about it.. You are his wife.. he should have respect for you..

God Bless

ETA** I completely agree with siamese! That one 1st quick look is normal, we do it too!! But staring is just NOT fine

Answer 7

I say look, but don't STARE...he needs to understand that you will not tolerate this from him and that there will be consequences if he continues to disrespect you...because that is what he is doing...you have to pull rank~!

Answer 8

All the time. Every guy I've been with. I do have to give my latest X credit...it was the only thing he could do good. Stealthy admiration of other women...though it never bothered me any way. My first husband was horrible at it; I 'd always bust his balls about it, when I caught him. My current guy...he blatantly will check out other girls....so I do it right back at him. It doesn't bother him, then why should it bother me. We are all human and can't help but admire others.
Only thing is I find it disrespectful when you are in the middle of a conversation and they cut you off to ogle. I draw the line there, and calmly ask them to refrain while we are in the middle of conversation.

Answer 9

it`s human nature. if our life depended on not looking at other women then men would be droping life flies

Answer 10

It hurts and they do have control. If they wanted to they wouldn't.

People shouldn't make excuses and allow ment o have bad behavior.

If your marriage becomes ruined, is the only time you will not care that he does not have exclusive eyes for you.

But best wishes on your marriage.