Does this make any sense???

Question

For a while my ex had custody of our kids and was on government assistance for a couple years.
Now I have full custody of the kids not her and I am having my paychecks garnished to pay the state back for the time she was on welfare. Why?
She has a job making pretty ok money for where we live,shouldn't she be paying her own welfare back?
I tried explaining to the idiot I spoke to on the phone that by taking my checks to pay for her welfare that its taking from my kids who the welfare was meant to help.
She said the state requires the father of the kids to repay it,not the mother. (State:Missouri)
So am I seeing this wrong or does it really not make sense???

Also: I'm not even getting child support from her and I have custody. Shouldn't I get it?

Mr Stiggo: Yes I paid when she had them. So I shouldn't pay when she dont.

OK PLEASE READ THIS B4 YOU SAY I WASN'T PAYING CHILD SUPPORT:

YES I WAS PAYING SUPPORT!! MY CHECKS WERE GARNISHED TO GUARANTEE IT AND I EVEN SENT HER EXTRA! PLEASE STOP SAYING I DID NOT PAY!!!

Answer 1

If you were paying your support as you say and now have the kids and she is working. She obviously has no kids living with her to support as you have them so I think she should pay the system back not you. These others on here are just idiots and would also have a problem with it if they had to pay for some one elses welfare debt.

Answer 2

If your children were being paid taxpayer's money.....then, you must pay it back.

Welfare and assistance of that kind is NOT government money - it is OUR money. When the parents are in a position to do it, the benefits must be paid back to US, the taxpayer.

Answer 3

If she had to go on welfare (and was approved for it ) when she had custody it is obvious that she was not getting enough support from you. If this was true, then you should have to pay the state back. You don't expect taxpayers to pay for your kids, instead of you, do you ? If you deserve support from her now that you have custody, seems to me the judge would have ordered it. Unfortunately the legal system does favor Mothers over Fathers but if you feel you are being treated unfairly, talk to a lawyer. Good luck

Answer 4

Several questions:
- They are taking back the welfare they paid your ex because you were not paying your child support payments. Had you been making the required payments then you would not be in this bind. Once the money has been paid, it is due by you.
- The money was intended to help the children at the time it was paid.
- If the state worker actually said that, she was mistaken. The parent that is required to make child support payments is required to pay back the welfare payments. It is not based on the sex of the recipient or non-custodial parent. It is however most commonly the father that needs to pay.
- If your ex does not have custody, you should establish a court order for child support if you have not already done so. Child support should be ordered based on the state guidelines that factor your income, your ex's income and the custody arrangements such as how much time with each parent.

If you were paying support, then one of these things happened:
1. You were paying less than the support guidelines require.
2. You were paying to her directly and she was not reporting this income to the welfare office. She could be charged with a crime if this is the case.
3. You were supposed to pay to the welfare agency or the court and you paid her instead. Depending on how she reported the income (and if she did) she could be charged with a crime as well.

Answer 5

If you were not paying child support while she was on assistance, you have to pay it back. The old phrase, "you can pay me now or you can pay me later" always comes back to bite you in the butt. Government assistance subsidizes child support. You should have been paying child support all along, it would have been deducted from her assistance.

Answer 6

You have to pay it back because she had the kids. And you did not pay support so she drew a check on them. and it is right that you pay it back since you were not paying support to begin with. Im sure that the check she drew still only helped on only half of what she had to pay out of her own pocket. Come on people read everything first. do not get back lashed ok. call your county attorney. because you should owe nothing. she should not have gotten a check if you paid child support.

Answer 7

I also wonder if you paid support while she had the kids. You may be paying for past payments from the State. As far as you receiving support payments, this would need to be court ordered.

Answer 8

Generally speaking, family law in most states runs presumptively against the father.

See an attorney. I'm sure there is an answer to all this and it will benefit you in the long run to have things done right.



Good luck.

Answer 9

That does seem kind of weird. I'd maybe invest in a lawyer to make sure you aren't getting the shaft.

As for whether or not you should get child support SOLELY based on custody I'm not sure. I thought that maybe the person with custody's income mattered. By that I mean if YOU make more than your wife, especially by a substantial amount then I didn't think. If your incomes were rather close to being the same then I could see her having to pay, and especially if you made less than here.

Once again that's something a lawyer could answer for you. I'd get in touch with one just to make sure you are getting a fair shake of things.

Answer 10

You don't tell us if you were paying support while she had the kids, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Given that, you should speak with your lawyer immediately. It doesn't make sense that MO still treats men and women differently.