My wife isn't the same?

Question

As per my previous posts, I am a dentist/practice owner and I went out with my colleagues a couple weeks ago for drinks. My wife asked me why I was out so late when I got home and I hit her across the face harder than intended and she fell onto the couch. Left only a small red mark for a few minutes and I felt terrible immediately afterward. She left for her sisters and came back last week but things have been very different.

I thought they were improving, but I went out yesterday again with my partners (it is a weekly outing..that I skipped last week bc of what happened the previous time) and her sister was there when I returned. When I asked why, she said she didn't want to take any chances.

When will things get back to normal? I am not truly abusive. It was a one time deal and I am sorry for it. I'm not some uneducated woman batterer.

I didn't even have any drinks when I went out this past time. It was purely professional and she KNEW THAT!

Answer 1

You a total stupid jerk, I hope your dental patients find out what an abusive asshole you are. If you are indeed really a dentist. If you think it is OK to hit your wife even 1 time, you are stupid and have no clue. You need anger management and you need to get a clue. I would have kicked you in the balls so hard your head would spin and see how you liked being hit. Not much I would guess.

Answer 2

You ARE a woman batterer!! Whether you are educated or not has nothing to do with it, you still hit your wife!! One time deal? I doubt that, it sounds like b/c you are a dentist you think that you are above the average abuser, let me educate you......you're not! You are some little wanker who thinks it's okay to hit women, and in your post you said "My wife asked me why I was out so late when I got home and I hit her across the face harder than intended and she fell onto the couch". Harder than intended?? For real, you are a turd!!!!

Answer 3

Chances are...things will never be back the way they were and you had no right to hit her. She should have gotten up and cold ****** you right in the mouth and she did have a right to ask where you were. If you didn't want anyone to know where you are. . .you shouldn't be married, then you won't have to answer to anyone. . .What did you mean when you said uneducated woman batterer? Are you implying that educated men don't abuse their wives, oh yes they do, education has nothing to do with hitting someone. Not hitting someone means you respect yourself and hitting someone means you don't respect yourself., so.....you must not think to highly of yourself. . .

Answer 4

You write that you hit her across the face harder than intended; and I'm trying to understand why it was necessary to hit her across the face (or anywhere else) at all? Is she not allowed to question you? Is she a prisoner in her own home? And are you so out of control, that you can't go out with your colleagues without coming home drunk enough to brutalize your wife? You have some serious thinking to do and you'd better do it soon, before you lose this woman.

You've instilled fear in her and she's afraid to be alone with you, after you've been out drinking. Instead of seeing you as her protector, she now sees you as a predator, equal to anybody else who might harm her. She trusted you to keep her safe. Instead, you've become the very thing she's afraid of. You should be ashamed of yourself. You've deeply hurt your wife, and you didn't have to do that. You could have told her anything, as to why you were late coming home; rather than cause such unrest. Things will get back to normal, when she feels safe with you again. And she'll only feel safe when she knows you're not coming home drunk again. You're an educated man. Figure it out.

BTW: I don't buy your one time deal thing. You may not have hit her across the face before, but you've been abusive to your wife more than just once. When you drink, you turn into a monster.

Answer 5

I find it unbelievable that you have taken no responsibility in your action. Typical denial of an abuser. You need help. Anger management classes would be a start.

Answer 6

Well, it sounds like you are uneducated in the area of knowing how to respectfully treat your wife. You didn't give any info regarding whether or not your wife was aware of your outings or as to whether she has approved of them in the past. There's certainly more going on here. Why would you hit her across the face "harder than intended." That blatantly states that you intended to hit her rather than you were so upset that you lost control and did something that you ordinarily would not have.

The facts you state leads me, at least, to believe that you probably are a wife beater and that it was NOT a one time deal. Why SHOULD things get back to "normal?" What is NORMAL for you? The fact that she's afraid to be home alone when you come home after your outings means that YOU have the problem, no her. You need to address your own inadequacies. Why don't you discontinue your "outings" and focus on your marriage and your wife's feelings about the incident. Go to counseling!

Answer 7

Well, I hate to tell you this but that was not a reason to hit her. What if she had of call the police on you then your practice would have went down the drain. You want to know when things are going to get back to normal well they are not because she see what you are capable of doing now. Even though you said you didn't mean it now she thinks that you are a woman beater. I mean for god sakes you hit her for asking you why you were out so late. She's probably scare to ask you anything else. I would. Anyhow I hope you are really sorry but she's never going to be the same once a woman is hit by a man, she'll never forget it or forgive it. So if i was you i would sleep with one eye open for now on, just in case. I wish you and yours the best.

Answer 8

Uneducated woman batterer? Obviously not educated enough. You hit your wife! Things will never be "normal" again. All she did to "provoke" you was ask "why was I out so late?"
If my husband ever hit me, I would not go back. I don't care how drunk or upset he was. I think you both need to get into counseling if she is going to stay. That may be the only way to get things "back to normal". Not all abusers are uneducated. Many are very highly educated, just don't know what to do with all that smart apparently.
P.S. Doesn't matter if you were drinking or not. A hit is a hit, intended hard or light. My guess is this isn't the first time either, maybe just the first time she left over it!!

Answer 9

You are a jerk. If you hit her once she is thinking you are going to do it again. You have crossed the line in a massive way.

I would tell her how sorry you are and agree to go to therapy for the next 6 months or however long will satisfy her. You have some serious issues that you have to recover from.

Hitting a spouse is one of the worst things you can do in your life! You should stop and think about it!

Answer 10

No, things will never get back to normal. The moment you hit her you lost her trust. Men like you should be beaten. Why on earth would you hit your wife? You are the one that should be protecting her!