What would you do?

Question

If your husband went partying with his buddies all night long. It's not the first time he's done it. He has these occasional all night long parties where they get wasted into pieces. I hate when he does that and I've told him that before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those jealous wives who doesn't let her husband see his friends, but I think he pushed my limit. He can go out with his buddies one in a while for a few hours and hang out, but I think it's wrong for him to go out for the whole night get drunk and sleep at someone else's house. I don't think he realizes that he's a married man and he has a wife at home. I don't go out partying all night long and I don't want to do that. What kind of relationship would this be if I went out partying by myself and he goes out partying without me. We're not roommates for god's sake. I'm really mad at him and I told him how I feel. What would you do?

Answer 1

You are correct, this is not the behavior of a husband. He really needs to be told how strongly you feel about this because either he's going to act like a husband or a single man. Sometimes men need a taste of their own medicine so you may want to stay out all night (family's home or girlfriend's home or spend some time to yourself at a hotel) and let him worry about you.

Answer 2

well maybe telling him how u feel isnt enough for him. you should go party yourself for just a couple times and let him stay home and see how he feels and after he understands why u hate it so much when hes gone all night partying then talk to him about it and what happens then happens.

Answer 3

He sounds like a very childish person who wants to be married and run around with his friends drinking all night. Then is incredulous when his wife is pissed off because he is out all night with his friends. If you have told him you don't like it when he does this, he is a self-centered child. You need to decided if the marriage is worth all this unhappiness. You can insist he seek counseling to grow up. You can leave the marriage, you can not be home when he comes home and not tell him where you are for a few days. If you throw out any sort of ultimatum that he must change his ways or leave, you need to be prepared to stick to it too. Good luck to you, until he grows up, you will probably continue to be unhappy.

Answer 4

I would go with him! If he didn't want me to because it was boy's night out then I'd make sure he had my number and his cell phone was charged and send him off with a smile. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're dead. Or that you suddenly stop liking things that you liked when you were single. I am betting that you knew he liked doing this before you married him so what's the suprise? You might say you're not a jealous wife but you REALLY sound like an annoying kill-joy. If you trust him then what's the problem? Why do you even care if he gets drunk with his friends? How is that hurting you? He just gets smashed up and has a lot of fun. I've never understood why some girls sit at home and fume and get mad instead of just going out themselves or ordering a pizza and making it a fun night in for them. You make it sound like you have no life and can't be by yourself for one night. Sorry if I offend but that post was ridiculous. If he's messing around on you when he does that then yeah be mad and cut his balls off but if he's just getting drunk........what's the big deal, chill out.

Answer 5

First, I apologize for my answer as this may not exactly b the answer you want. You dont say what shape your marriage is in so Im sensing there may be some problems which is causing your husband to do what hes is doing. In other words hes trying to get away from you and this is the only way he knows how to avoid you. This is nothing against you personally nor am I okaying what hes doing but typically this is the usual actions of a husband trying to avoid his marriage without actually going the divorce route. Since you didnt say nor do I know you two, I cant say for sure this is what hes doing or why, but something must be amiss in your relationship. If so the problems must be corrected before he will change his ways and stay home more. Again sorry for my answer. Good luck and Happy New Year

Answer 6

Give him an ultamatum, I also am dealing with this same non- sense, he makes any excuse to hang out. I dont mind the hanging out on occasion either, it's the drinking and coming home wasted thing that gets to me too!!..I gave him an ultamatum and he agreed no more partying after 1 am. Let's see if he can promise this..if not, I'm outta here. We are in marriage counseling because of this too. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

When he goes out like this, I would go to a friends house and stay. I wouldn't tell him this is what I did, I would let him think that I was doing the same thing he was doing. See how he likes it, comming home and you not being there, or him spending the night alone while you're supposidly having fun with your friends.
Why wouldn't he take you with him on his night out with friends. Mostly because they like to do guy things, like flirt with women and hit on them, things they couldn't get away with if the wife was there. And of course you also have to wonder if he has been spending time with his friends, or some woman...his friends would lie for him. I would check this out, maby show up sometime when he goes out and see what he is up to.

Answer 8

Well, the first thing is - is this behaviour new? If it's not, it's quite unfair for you to change the rules now. Ask yourself why it is upsetting you now.

Not to say that this behaviour is okay - I think most wives would object to it since it's not only childish and irresponsible, it's also disrespectful to you. You've told him how you feel - now time to see if his behaviour changes.

If it doesn't, probably fair to say he's choosing booze and parties over you - which begs the question of why he got married in the first place.

Answer 9

Tell him to get help for being an alcoholic and see what happens. Maybe he doesn't want to be married . You could also both go to a marriage counsellor.

Answer 10

i can understand you're frustration, but wouldn't you rather him stay at someones house instead of driving home drunk. if he drives home drunk--he'll end up dead, he'll hit someone else or he'll end up in jail. i mean, my 2 best friend and i get together once a month (away from our husband) and get drunk and spend the night. my husband doesn't mind--he trusts me and doesn't want me driving drunk. be glad he's getting wasted somewhere else instead of at home--that would drive me crazy.