I am a 38 yr old divorced male, I met my girlfriend 7 months ago online, she is 27 and never married. We became freinds online and I learned that she was moving to my city. our feelings became very strong for each other and when she moved here it took a life of its on. We are madly in love with each other and for the both of us this is the best relationship we have ever had. I have never met a woman who I can be so comfortable with. We have been through some bad relationships and it is very refreshing for the both of us to have a relationship this great! The dilemma is she does not like it here and wants to try somewhere else when her lease is out. Also I have 2 kids which she feels uncomfortable with. She accepts that I have kids but is not sure if that is a road she wants to travel. We both love each other and want to be with each other! we have talked about ending it before it gets to a point where it will hurt to much when she leaves. The question, should I end it now or later?
2007-12-31 04:33:23 · 9 answers · asked by dbigwil 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say to end it now...if she has a problem with your children it will only get worse. I would not want to have to worry about feeling uncomfortable around my children if she is there also.
2007-12-31 04:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Radtech1996 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends upon what YOU want.
If you are looking for a spouse, and someone to raise your children, it will indeed be along wait and likely you then ought to end it, if you wish something to happen in the next year or two. Evolution rather dictates that women don't readily wish to take on another woman's kids, just as men don't readily pwish to take on another man's children... Kids, in the eyes of others are usually baggage, big time, So, hon, if you are looking for a spouse, NOW or very soon, she is probably not it, and it probably wouldn't fly, even if you each tried.
And she has as well told you that she is not a candidate for your live-in partner/wife at this time.
But, you may agree that you do indeed care much for each other, and do the long distance relationship thing. I have several friends who are that way.... she lives in on city, he in another, and they spend long weekends together very often... that's why they make airplanes. It is better than anything either of them have tried before, and each of these couples plan to try living together when the children are gone.
So, should you end it? Maybe you and she ought to talk first---this time, really in depth. And get your wishes and desires as well as your options out there on the table. Just to abruptly end it, means that you haven't fully explored your love, and your choices.
Good luck, hon.
2007-12-31 12:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by ladyren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about not at all ... The kids are almost grown... They are growin on me anyway ... . and we have a lifetime together so lets go west !! Find a river .. build a log cabin ... with a fire place ...fun fun ... Get a ranch ...you know ...the outdoors stuff.. come on babe ...its too cold here !
2007-12-31 12:52:09 · answer #3 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you found someone your really happy with.But ask yourself how perfect is she for you,the fact that she wants to move away knowing you have children is kinda selfish.And the fact that she's not that comfortable with them says alot.If she loved you like she says then sacrificing is what she needs to do.And if not then let it go now.Because if your not willing to leave and she's unhappy there,down the line one or both of you will regret it and the relationship you started off having will change and not to a better one.So end it before you are really hurt. Good luck
2007-12-31 12:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two aren't madly enough in love to make it if she is going to move away; doesn't think she wants your kids as part of the deal, and doesn't know what "road she wants to travel."
I'd cut my losses NOW.
2007-12-31 12:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it now. I've been in this situation several times with my boys and just kept dating and then it ended badly. I am now married to a wonderful man and he never ever was uncomfortable around my children. This is not the one for you in my opionion. Split now even though it will be hard. If she truely is in love with you she will come back and your children will not be a problem. Good luck
2007-12-31 12:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Scarliiit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt end it at all. this is a once in a lifetime thing to find someone that you love so much. if you both really love eachother, you will be able to look beyond those little imperfections. you two had a great time talking online before she moved near you, it doesnt mean that you cant do it again. if you decide to go into something greather than that, you can move with her. your kids will understand and she can learn to be a good mother. don't worry, it will all work outl
happy new year.
2007-12-31 12:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do it now. Each day you two profess feelings for one another will make it that much harder to get over. This relationship is good for you, but you and your children are an total package...so this may be a good thing by you ending it.
2007-12-31 12:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try later you never know what will happen.
2007-12-31 12:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by i dont know wat 2 do nemore 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋