2007-12-31 04:15:41 · 21 answers · asked by REDBULL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, people cheat because of their own problems not problems caused by their spouses. It is an individual choice. If your decision is to love him, then get counseling it can work. Sometimes stress, low self-esteem, mid-life crisis, and work related issues can lead a person to make the wrong choices.
Get some counseling to see if your marriage is salvagable. Only you can make YOU happy!
2007-12-31 04:31:50 · answer #1 · answered by Vernita B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should continue with counseling and see how that goes. But you need to understand that he went through a really rough time, probably trying to reinvent himself or something and got crushed. He is probably embarrassed also. I would give him a second chance. It is up to you, i think you could work through it. Every married couple has issues and I know you got your heart broken, but the two of you going to counseling is a mending time for your heart. Hopefully he can earn back your trust, but you have 2 kid to worry about. At least it wasn't physical, then there would be more issues. I think you are doing the right thing right now, continue what you are doing and hear him out. Good luck and do everything possible to hold your marriage together!
2016-05-28 05:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
us men are very stupid at times and we loose site of the things that mean the most I know it hurts I've been cheated on and cheated but trust me you can forgive him before he will forgive his self I still ha vent forgiven my self and it as been ten years scents then but i have forgave her hang in there it not gone to get worse and it is some thing he will haft to live with .
it dose not mean he dose not love you or wanted to hurt you .
but only you can say if you can forgive him if not you will just haft to move on
I hope I have help you and I am sorry this has happen to anyone
2007-12-31 05:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by Bobby T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is up to you. You have the right to divorce him for committing adultery. He has broken the trust. How will you ever trust him again?
2007-12-31 05:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is completely up to you, but you will NEVER really get over it enough to work it out with complete trust. What has been ruined will not return. Go to some counseling and work on yourself. It sounds as though your marriage was not as happy as you thought it was or else he wouldn't have cheated. Perhaps you were living in ignorant bliss?
2007-12-31 04:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll just give you the statistics..."once a cheater...." "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". And the biggie, only 20% of marriages with betrayal survive even 2 years, and that is with both in counseling, and both hoping to save it. Twenty percent is an F in school, and an F in life, and two years is a very long time to try.....No matter how hard you try, it is about impossible to scoop out of your brain the image of your spouse pronging another lady. And if marriage is Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust, the trust is for sure severely shaken with the passion getting shared.... and the respect and admiration are gone too. You don't love him, hon, you love the IMAGE of what he once was, and you love who you THOUGHT he represented, and those are gone.
You have a lot to retrieve from the toilet hon, and I wish you well. I have several friends who have split after betrayal. One couple made it five years.... and in her holiday note, they now are calling it quits, so in my experience, none of those marriages survived. When mine did that, though it was as if he had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart and threw it at my feet, the thought of the guy touching me again made me want to vomit. Betrayal is akin to abandonment, and it was frankly, easier to leave, pack my stuff, and run.
And tho I looked back a time or two, and cried buckets for my gone marriage, after I got my head back on straight, I found a prince on Yahoo Personals. This man and I have been together almost three years.
He had become someone I no longer knew---- the instant I found out.
I wish you well, hon. There is no pain greater than betrayal.
2007-12-31 04:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by ladyren 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was married for over 20 years when my husband began cheating on me. I*d forgive him and he*d do it again, it never stopped. I finally couldn*t take it anymore and left. It was THE best thing I have ever done for my children and myself. Good luck to you! I know its a very difficult decision to make.
2007-12-31 04:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Brown eyed girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DUMP HIM, AND START ENJOYING LIFE
2007-12-31 04:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
It's a question only you can answer. Do you think you can move past it and forgive him because you love him so much? Or do you think it's something that you will be unable to most past and forgive him for his transgression? One thing I know, if you think of forgiving him, you'll need to trust him not to do it again. If you can't do that, you might need to separate and go from there.
2007-12-31 04:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by BG 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Real love will forgive thats what makes love different from anything else.
2007-12-31 04:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by kimber g 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋