My husband and I celebrated our 1st anniversary yesterday. Due to problems - it looks as though we might get custody of his newborn granddaughter when she is born in March. I am 46 yrs old, and a grandmother of 2 - I don't think I can raise another child! How do I handle this?
2007-12-31 03:49:41 · 22 answers · asked by Mary S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Child protective services is terminating the mother's rights - and the infant will probably be awarded to us. This is the 2nd child she has lost - the other grandparents are raising the other granddaughter.
2007-12-31 03:58:02 · update #1
Bitter? At least I am woman enough to admit that I don't think I can raise another child - instead of just taking it on and mistreating the child. A child deserves two devoted loving parents. I raised 2 children - I just don't think I have the patience to raise another child.
2007-12-31 04:02:07 · update #2
I realize it's not this child's fault - but it isn't my fault either! I had a hystorectomy 10 yrs ago so I WOULD NOT have any more children. I know what I am physically and emotionally capable of. My husband and I are both in poor physical health as well - and I don't think either of us can give this child what she truly needs.
2007-12-31 04:17:47 · update #3
The key word in your question is "his". It's his granddaughter, not yours. Tell him your concerns, and that you are unwilling to raise another child. If he chooses to ignore you, let him deal with the consequences: diaper changes, late night feedings, child care, etc. I'm 45 years old myself, so I understand where you're coming from. If my step-daughter had a baby, but didn't want to raise it, but my wife did, I would tell her that she was on her own with that, because I had a vasectomy for a reason!
2007-12-31 03:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give the child up for adoption...so she can have chance at a loving family and good life, and then when she turns 18 or 21, allow her to find you
2007-12-31 04:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by schtata 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Our son is going to have a baby in 2 months. He is 18 and still in college. His Gf is 20 and doesn't have a job. They are not together any more but we already have a lawyer and will probably get custody of this baby. I don't want to either. BUT, someone has to take care of this baby. We have tossed around the idea of adoption. We are not sure yet if that is going to happen. But is this a possibility for you. You have to re-evaluate yourself. This is obviously you step grand child. If this was a biological grand child would you feel the same way? Age isn't the question here. It is all about what is best for the child. You need to seriously talk with your husband. Isn't there anyone else in the family that can help? There are many options open to you. You have three months to figure out what you want. Good luck and God Bless
2007-12-31 04:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, this is something the both of you have to be fully committed to, to be good parents. I had my youngest at 40, with 19 years between her and my next oldest. She is an absolute joy. I feel younger than most of my friends seem to feel, and am a much more relaxed parent than I was the first couple of times around. So just when the other kids were grown and gone, I was ready to get that teepee and live off the land...surprise! I wouldn't change a thing, and my husband and I have never been happier. Just wanted you to know that it may not be as bad as it seems. I have 5 grandchildren, and one of them is older than my daughter. It has been a wild ride at times, and always wonderful.
2007-12-31 04:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by Catey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
N-I-K-K-I, seems to be on the right track.
We all cope with a lot of things but if you definitely think it is too much? say after next year then you find the best darn foster parents you can,and keep in touch with the child if possible.
Happy new year to you and all.(I'm not being facetious).
GOD bless.
2007-12-31 04:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, I think you should sit your husband down and tell him that you don't think it is wise to get custody of another baby because it's too time consuming already. Explain to him that you love his children as your own but you don't think you can handle any more children. Hopefully as your husband he'll understand. good, i wish you the best
2007-12-31 03:58:27 · answer #6 · answered by blessed is me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Handle what? Raising the grandchild? Unfortunately it happens all the time. Although you may not desire to raise another child, unless you are physically disabled you are probably quite capable. It'll change what you thought would be a relatively child-free time of your life (other than playing with the grandkids) but it's the type of sacrifice people make for those they love (especially innocent babies in their family).
If you two get the child, I wish you all the best. Perhaps a time will come where the child's parents will be ready/able to take the reins.
2007-12-31 03:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to follow your heart, I dont think that you can let a baby be raised by anyone else and if there are problems he is doing the right thing.
2007-12-31 03:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of just saying yes lets do this, tell him your concerns and that you don't want to really take on such a huge responsibility. Where is his former wife? Why can't she take the child? What about the grandparents on the child's father's side? Congrats on the anniversary but you should tell him about your concerns.
2007-12-31 03:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Get a a nanny
2007-12-31 03:54:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋