2007-12-31 03:26:53 · 43 answers · asked by Hayley S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hayley, I unfortunately do know how you feel. My wife died a little over a year ago and it hasn't been easy. She was 31 when she died, so I know what it's like having a long life ahead of you without the person you really care about. There's really no way to describe it. People can imagine how you are feeling and empathize with you, but unless it happens to them, they truly can't relate.
I'm sure people have told you about the stages of grief and blah, blah, blah. All I can say is let your feelings progress as they naturally do. You're going to be sad and you're going to be sad for a long time. You're going to feel lonely and angry and confused and any number of other emotions. Just let it happen because it's all normal and all healthy. Maybe a therapist would help, but it has to be on your time. You can't force that. I waited a year before I started seeing a psychologist. I felt like I needed time to figure out my emotions before I could adequately talk about them. I have to say that it has helped a lot, but there will always be a missing piece of your heart. After a certain amount of time, you will find acceptance (I'm not quite there yet) but you will still miss your friend and cry and feel like something is missing. That's okay.
You will meet new friends and you'll have people to talk to, but it may take time. I know when my wife died I felt like everyone was staring at me and wondering how I was doing or wondering if they should talk about it with me or avoid the discussion completely. Most people are not comfortable with death and they won't want to make you uncomfortable. Take the lead in conversations. If you feel like talking about it, bring it up. Others probably won't. If there is a family member you feel comfortable talking to or a close friend, I'm sure they would be willing to listen and may even have something helpful to say. There is great power in conversation.
Over time, you will feel comfortable talking about other things in your life, but I know when my wife died, it's all I could think about. I didn't care about anything else. I became angry when I saw people laughing or having idle conversation. I felt like shouting, "Don't you know my wife is dead? How can you laugh at a time like this? How can you talk about stupid, meaningless things?" Over time I started to laugh again. Sometimes I felt guilty, but I know my wife would want me to be happy and I'm sure your friend would want you to be happy. The one-year mark was a big turn for me. I'm sure it's different for everyone, so don't feel pressure to stick with a timeframe. If you feel good after a month or 3 months or 6 months, go with it. Don't feel guilty. Just be true to your own feelings and embrace them. Sometimes not the easiest thing to do.
I don't know if any of this was helpful, but sometimes it just helps to know you're not alone in your grief. I wish you all the best. Hang in there. It will get better. Everyone says that, but there is truth to it. I don't know if there's a way to get to my e-mail address from here. I don't use it often. I just happened to ask a question today and was looking to see if it was posted yet, and I stumbled across your question. Anyway, if there is a way to figure out my email from this, feel free to drop me a line. I don't want to include it in this post for obvious reasons.
Take care!
2007-12-31 03:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell somebody. get entangled, because of the fact this possibility of suicide could be a desperate cry for help! help her, as suitable you may together as fending off putting the blame on her--whether you're able to desire to persistently clarify to her why this can't paintings, or how there are individuals left to fulfill. it is an emergency! in case you have her handle, touch a help line, or maybe the wellbeing facility in case you have faith something! Get in touch together with her kinfolk in case you may. bear in mind, if she isn't yet "out of the closet" the clarification for her habit could nicely be stored deepest--merely get the factor throughout the time of that she has heavily seen taking her own existence! She does choose help, be it a help circle or a therapist., and you have the prospect (even possibly a responsiblity) to help her! What a greater effective thank you to be a chum than save somebody's existence? Hurry!
2016-10-02 23:18:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to someone it helps. your mum and dad talk to them it will help
2007-12-31 03:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by mark g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've lost some very good friends over the years including the person I still consider the best friend I ever had. I never stop missing them but I've moved on and met others. The truth is very good friendships are hard to come by and they take time to get to the place where you can truly talk. Treasure what time you had and look forward to meeting others. Some people never really know what a good friend is. I am sorry for your loss and I know exactly how you feel. Time makes it better and sometimes I still talk to him. I don't know if he hears me, but somehow I kinda think so. . .And sometimes I swear I can feel his presence around me. . .
2007-12-31 03:32:40 · answer #4 · answered by towanda 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes i do. it sucks. but over time, you'll find someone to talk to, but it won't replace what you've lost. i'm sorry! there will always be that burning question, "what if" it didn't happen! please try to always remember! it will help you, not anyone else!
2007-12-31 03:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by da_zoo_keeper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes my friend was killed at age 15 and it hurt for long time .odela1950@yahoo.com if you want to talk about it
2007-12-31 03:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. My sister died a month and a half ago, and for a while, I wanted to crawl under a rock. Here are some ways to deal with this:
1. Watch movies
2. See family and friends
3. Get a pet
4. Let time heal you
Good luck!
2007-12-31 03:31:16 · answer #7 · answered by Kathryn B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kinda know how u feel i lost my grandma she was real close to me and know i dont get no one to talk to when i go over thier. i cant mentchion her name or the word grandma around my grandpa cause then he will get very sad.
2007-12-31 03:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loss is always difficult. I suggest to speak to family, friends, your former best friend's family or perhaps your school counselor.
Sorry for your loss
2007-12-31 03:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no....not really! sorry for the loss!!
2007-12-31 03:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋