My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship who lives with us all the time, since her biological mother passed. She is 14 and has no respect for me at all. Yesterday we were getting company and I asked her to pick up somethings of hers laying around the house. Her response was "No, you b*tch. You are not my mom go pick it up yourself you lazy "F"er." Then she ran up to her room. My husband(her dad) was at a friends helping him fix up a car. When he got home, I told him what happened and he went upstairs and slapped her for being disrespectful. After we all cooled down, me, my husband, and his daughter had a talk about how even though I am not her biological mother she was expected to treat me with respect.
But I can not help but feel bad. It was my fault that she got hit. If I wouldn't have told my husband what happened then she never would have. So was I wrong for this?
2007-12-31 03:14:52 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I just wanted to let everybody know, her mother pasted about 2 years ago and she's been living with me since. And this is not the first time she's said things like this to me, just the first she's been hit for it.
2007-12-31 07:28:19 · update #1
You were not wrong but he was, and is it any wonder the kid behaves like that when her father is violent towards her.
2007-12-31 03:17:51 · answer #1 · answered by bella 6 · 10⤊ 2⤋
In my opinion she deserved what she got, I'm only 18 but when i was younger speaking to anyone like that would have earned me a slap. I live in a loving family and i do not fear my parents, instead i respect their authority over me.
Schools are full of children and teenagers that have no respect for anyone or anything because of charities and government campaigns about child cruelty and hitting as a form of discipline but it has never done any harm to me or my sister and i feel that as teachers and parents (especially step parents) have no way of being able to seem more superior or having a sense of authority this leaves children as brats.
People are being scared into thinking that badly behaved children can be reformed by a stay on the naughty step or a time out, take one look at a regular secondary school and it will reassure you that your step daughter will learn respect from an occasional slap.
Hope i helped
x
2008-01-01 16:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by Skittles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not in the wrong. However, he certainly shouldn't have hit her.
While she should never have behaved like that, hitting teenagers hardly gives a perfect example of how one should behave. Furthermore, it may make her resent both of you, and feel as if she has to battle against you all the more. I think, however, that the talk you had after the event was the perfect course of action.
2008-01-01 18:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Saoirse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No u wasnt wrong at all.......she needs to treat u with respect...but her father was in the wrong hitting her like that.....there is no wonder she acts like this if her father is violent towards her.....have a word with her just like a mother to daughter chat and just say to her im not trying to replace ur mother or anything like that but i would like it if me and u could get along and do things as a familly and for u not to insult me and call me a b*tch.....and hopefully things will be ok and she will understand.....goos luck with this 1...
2008-01-01 10:33:31 · answer #4 · answered by I Want A Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your step daughter got what she deserved. I hope it taught her a lesson and she will treat you with due respct in the future. No reason for you to feel bad. I think it's great that you all talked the situation over.
2008-01-01 11:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she was very disrespectful towards you, but this is not unusual for a girl of that age. She is testing how far she can push you. She must be quite angry that you are around and her biological mum isn't and perhaps this is what made her lash out verbally. It is a shame that her dad slapped her - I don't agree with slapping children, but it has happened and I don't think you should blame yourself. She needs to see that you and her dad are a united front.
2007-12-31 22:04:51 · answer #6 · answered by Starshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Don't feel bad - it wasn't your fault that she got slapped by her dad.
You just explained situation to him, you didn't ask him to hurt her, he did this himself because he was upset that she had disrespected you.
It right you deserve some respect and he deserves respect from his daughter, but to slap her was wrong because this just makes situations worst and helps no one.
Also, not to make excuses for her, it has been the Christmas season and New Year so you may just be feeling upset and missing her mother a little. That no excuse for her to talk to you like she did but she probably just really angry.
Talk to her and just give her some space, whilst reassuring her you there if she needs to talk about anything,
Good luck!
Lx
2007-12-31 13:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by SunshineApple 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no you shouldnt feel bad at all
im 13 and if i would have said that to my parents they would have like done the same probably
u should NOT feel bad all you did was ask her to pick some stuff up i dont think that it would have killed her
2007-12-31 12:51:42 · answer #8 · answered by Hollister♥Is♥Love 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yo calm down! she ain't your daughter but she should treat u like an aunt and u treat her like a niece. u should have a friendly relationship but she should do what shes told. if her aunt told her to pick up her things what would she do?
2007-12-31 11:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you weren't wrong. He was. He should have talked to her, not hit her. Remember that phrase "Violence is not the Answer?"
2007-12-31 11:47:08 · answer #10 · answered by Alex. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No you were not wrong for that. She needs to be spanked more than one time.
2007-12-31 11:43:53 · answer #11 · answered by wetcat2009 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋